Joey Enchanted
by Tabitha craft
Summary: This has a slightly supernatural twist but is lots of fun - give it a go. It is based loosely on the premise of Ella Enchanted. For some reason we don't yet know Joey must always be obedient. She must follow every instruction or order. This is, as always, a P/J fic. Rating may change.
1. Chapter 1

**_Enchanted 1_**

 _Ok, so I wrote this a long time ago. Maybe ten years or more. Back before I was married, or had kids. It's meant to be fun. If you can't suspend your disbelief then this is not the story for you! I figured I'd repost some really old stories whilst I thought about whether to take Reclamation any further - some people were happy with it as is, some not._

 _ **Setting**  
This is kind of like the film **Ella Enchanted** but set in the DC universe. This is the prologue. It should be lots of fun - feisty Joey - forced to do everything she's told. I think Pacey might have fun with that. It's Joey's POV! And there is a little "Dawson as a the bad guy" going on. The first part is a little slow but it gets fun quick..._

 **To be clear:**

If you haven't seen the movie - **Joey is under a curse/spell (lets not worry about the logistics right now) and she must always be obediant. Whatever someone tells her to do she will do. i.e. eat your toast, go to sleep, ride off the dock on your bike, kiss me... she is literally forced by the spell to do it. She has her own free mind but is absolutely obedient to any demand or request made of her!**

Anyway - let me know what you think- I love the reviews people! This is a bit different so feedback will help. I should be able to update every day - what an incentive to review;-)

 _Tab:-)_

 **Chapter 1**

 **Prologue**

'Stop it,' I yell furiously at Pacey Witter as he pulls on my braid for the tenth time today. He's such an idiot. He thinks it's so funny and it's not, just annoying.

'Nope,' Pacey shakes his head with that characteristic grin. The grin that makes me want to thump him.

'Why have you always gotta be so mean?' I stamp my foot as hard as I can, wanting to impress my point on him. My mom says the reason my foot stamping does no good is because I'm only seven and small for my age. I hope one day I'm bigger than Pacey and Dawson and I can show them what for. Dawson is just laughing at me. Sometimes he tells Pacey to stop picking on me but I know he finds it funny.

'Cos you get all angry and it's funny,' Pacey explains his teasing nonchalantly and I feel my cheeks burn red I'm so angry. He reaches to pull my braid again and I hit his arm out the way as hard as I can.

,You're such a moron,' I moan at him, glaring at both the boys.

'And you're ugly,' Pacey tells me.

'You're mean,' I screech at him feeling the tears prick at my eyes. I hate it when he calls me ugly. I know I'm not pretty but it's just mean to tell me so.

'And you sound like a prima donna,' Pacey smirked.

'Do you even know what that is?' I scowl at him, gulping back my tears.

'I'm not stupid,' Pacey tells me and I smile inside because I know this is what he worries about.

'Could have fooled me,' I tell him stepping up to him, feeling defiant.

'I AM NOT STUPID,' he yells in my face taking a step nearer to me.

'Then stop acting like it,' I prod him in the chest.

'Then you stop acting like a cold hearted _bitch_ ,' Pacey shouts, the swear word rolling off his tongue and I gulp and as always I do exactly as Im told.

'I'm sorry Pacey,' I tell him immediately. 'You're not stupid. Would you like to come to my house for tea? My mom makes the best chocolate chip cookies,' I know rambling on about cookies isn't the opposite of cold hearted but I know I'm smiling inanely.

'Huh?' Pacey's staring at me kind of blankly and he almost looks cute.

'Your mom doesn't make cookies and my moms are the best in town,' I tell him warmly and I even squeeze his hand. 'Then we can play.'

'And when you say play, you mean what exactly?' Pacey looks at Dawson confused.

'You know play tag or we can collect worms my dad bought me a wormery,' I tell him enthusiastically.

'A whatery?' Pacey looks rather helpless in the face of my turnaround and I can't help thinking that being nice to Pacey is quite fun.

'A wormery,' I tell him brightly giving him a big smile, what my mom calls a megawatt smile, 'it has all these layers and stuff and you put in the worms. It's really cool. I think you'd really like it. So do you want to?'

'Do I what?' Pacey doesn't seem to know just what I'm asking.

'Do you want to come over to my house after school?' I tilt my head so I can look into his eyes under his lowered lashes.

'Ok,' Pacey agrees faintly.

'You said I was coming over after school,'Dawson moans and I grin at him.

'You are, but Pacey can come to,' I shrug wondering what Dawson's problem is.

* * *

It's really hot, but I'm not going to be hot for long. Before this moment people thought of me as nine year old Joey Potter, girl from down the creek, but hence forth they shall know me as the girl who defied gravity. Or so I like to think. I adjust my swimsuit and pick up my bike, ignoring Dawson.

'Joey you don't have to do it just cos he told you to,' Dawson's voice is faint and I ignore him as I wheel my bike away from the dock.

'Joeys gonna cycle into the creek,' Pacey is clapping his hands in obvious delight and it makes me smile, not that I'd let him see the smile. I'm only doing this because he told me to, not that he needs to know that. If he wants to think of me as brave thats just fine. Finally I am at an appropriate distance for the ride up to the ramp he made and I get on my bike.

'This is dangerous Joey,' Dawson is practically hyperventilating.

'Go for it Joey,' Pacey yells, his nine year old self seeming to be very, very impressed by my daring. Without further ado I begin pedalling with all my might heading straight for the dock, the ramp and the creek. Pacey cheers as the bike lifts into the air before falling into the creek with an almighty splash. The bike drags me down and I bang into the handle bars rather painfully, but when I surface Pacey is bobbing in the water beside me with a huge grin on his face.

'That was so cool!' Pacey tells me.

'Good huh?' I agree.

'Awesome,' Pacey confirms again. 'I never thought you'd do it!'

'It was so much funner than I thought,' my heart is still racing.

'Make sure you get your bike from the bottom,' Pacey teases and of course I instantly dive to retrieve the bike, surprised to find Pacey helping. Laughing and splashing in the water together we manage to get my bike to the edge, where a frowning and highly disapproving Dawson helps us remove it.

* * *

I hate being thirteen and having two boy best friends. Were at Aunt Gwen's house for Spring break, as normal, and she got us out _Dirty Dancing_ to watch. I loved it. I know it's so stereotypically girly to like it, but who couldn't like it. It's such a nice love story. I thought I'd die when they had sex, but luckily Dawson and Pacey seemed just as embarrassed. They were making so many jokes whilst I tried to ignore the weird feeling it gave me in my tummy. I wish we could rewind the tape and watch it again, although I'd rather watch it without Pacey and Dawson who keep making sick noises. I bet Dawson really liked it and is only making the gagging noises to save face with Pacey. Ugggg, boys are so annoying. Unless they're Patrick Swayze and they can dance of course.

'You know what D, I think Joey liked the romantic little filmy,' Pacey begins to tease, looking at me with that evil glint in his eye.

'I did not,' I scowl at him feeling the normal irritation he causes rising up. If I admit I like it, I'll never hear the end of it.

'You so did,' Pacey laughs jumping up from the sofa, 'you wanna dirty dance huh Jo?'

'I do not want to dirty dance,' I deny in my best scathing voice, blushing wildly. 'And I didn't think it was a great film. I just liked the fact that they got some girl in the lead who isn't a stereotypical blond bimbo. She's pretty but not that pretty. It's refreshing,' I huff.

'Admit it Joey you liked the movie and you'd love to dirty dance,' Pacey waggles his butt in front of me and then points his fingers at my face with each demand.

'I liked the movie and I'd love to dirty dance,' the words came out without my being able to stop them, although I do say them grudgingly. The effect is obvious - both Pacey and Dawson laugh.

'Dance with me,' Pacey tells me, the teasing tone thick in his demand as he stands in front of me. I scowl even more but it doesn't change the fact that I am out of my seat in an instant and in his arms. 'Who knew youd be so keen Potter,' Pacey mocks me. 'Music comrade,' Pacey looks at Dawson, who laughing at the sight of us sticks on an old sixties LP, blasting out _Do You Love Me_ by Brian Poole.

Pacey begins to swing me around and of course I am forced to swing around as well. I hate to admit it but it is pretty good fun, that is until Pacey says, 'this is supposed to be dirty dancing Jo - do it properly!' Without choice I press myself closer to him and begin to move like they did in the film, pretty well if you ask me. But of course Pacey is a teenage boy and I feel something happening as I press against him, gyrating my hips and suddenly he's blushing.

'Uh, lets stop now,' he chuckles nervously but I know what happened. We catch each others eye and I feel bad so I let him off. I give him a little smile and he shrugs and mouths at me, 'Well what did you expect?'

'You're such a pervert,' I tell him out loud. 'Keep your hands away from me.'

'As if I want your hands anywhere near me,' he protests and I know were back to our comfortable banter. 'As I recall you were the one all over me just then.'

'We were dancing Pacey not taking part in a mating ritual,' it's at this point we both look at Dawson who is clutching his sides and laughing.

'Seriously Potter, that was kind of fun,' Pacey tells me.

'Only because you got to cop a feel,' I tell him and give him a pointed look.

'Now didn't I tell you to be nice to me,' Pacey asks in his teacher voice.

'I'm sorry Pacey you probably just wanted to dance,' the words slink from my mouth and I curse my obedience.

'Has anyone told you you're weird?' Pacey asks me for the umpteenth time in the course of our friendship.

'Weird for being friends with you two,' I tell them both with disdain.

'Why don't you sing us a karaoke number Jo?' Dawson asks trying to change the subject as he always does when Pacey and fight.

'Because I dont want to,' I frown at him.

'Sing us _You're the one that I want_ ,' Pacey tells me sticking on the track. Full of reticence I'm on my feet again and reaching for the microphone, my voice filling the room as the boys chuckle on the couch. God I hate them sometimes.

* * *

'I should get going,' I tell Dawson as the credits rolled on the movie.

'Why?'

'Because we're getting older, things are changing and I don't think I should stay over anymore,' I began my spiel again. He's heard it before.

'Stay the night Jo,' Dawson chuckles and of course I do as he asks.

'Oh ok,' I sigh kicking off my shoes and climbing into bed.

'You don't always have to do as I say you know Jo,' Dawson looks at me as I lay stiffly in bed next to him.

'I don't always do as you say,' I protest in a small voice.

'No not always, but well I don't know...You always seem like you want to please everyone. You're fifteen now and it's time to start doing things for yourself. If you want to leave you should leave.'

'I do what I want, I just like people to be happy,' I maintain because this subject is a difficult one.

'I mean I get how it is with Pacey and you. I know your friendship, if you can call it that, is different. He dares you and you do it. I know you don't like to think he's getting a one up but you don't always have to do as he says,' Dawson tries to explain what he means and I understand, but the thing is he doesn't.

'Can we just go to sleep Dawson?' I ask softly.

'Sure Jo go to sleep,' Dawson sighs and in a flash I'm fast asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews guys. I thought I'd give you two chapters quickly to help you get into it. It all gets going by chapter 3:-)**

 **Any questions on the premise of this, just ask. It's the only story with supernatural elements in it I've ever written, but it's fun - I promise!**

 **Please keep reviewing!**

 **Tab:-)**

 **Chapter Two**

I can't believe Dawson and Pacey. Anyone would think they'd never seen a girl before. Least of all one with blue eyes and blond hair. They've obviously seen a girl before, after all they hang out with me all the time, but I think I have it on pretty could authority when I say that I don't register as a girl on their rarefied palettes. They're such hormonal boys. Jen is the epitome of a _Playboy_ centrefold and it seems they'd both love to get into her panties.

Jen Lindley leggy, blond, beautiful and buxom. In fact I think I could use alliteration to describe her and her impact down to a perfect t, or b as the case may be. Jen Lindley is a blond bombshell who has blown apart the bonded band of friends and blithely barged into the boys brains using her blond, buxom, brainless bleating. What I hate most about her is the fact that I know I'm being harsh because she is actually nice. She's nice to me and I hate it and I go out of my way to be nasty to her.

'So tell me Jen, in New York was what you're wearing considered fashion?' I ask blandly as we head out on yet another double date. Pacey and I dragged along by Dawson who's too fucking scared to be with Jen by himself. Note to self Dawson can be a real wet blanket. I mean where's his self-pride? Does he really need his two best friends to hold his hand?

'Yes Joey it is. I mean I'm not the most fashionable girl but...' she's nervous and I'm pleased with myself.

'Because you see Capeside is a small town and if you keep dressing that way you may have a few offers you weren't expecting,' I line each word with insinuation. She looks like a hooker in those tight jeans and that little top. I mean just because she has the perfect body does she have to flaunt it?

'Are you saying I look like I'm asking for it?' Jen's hands are on her hips as she glares at me. I'm actually kind of relieved to have finally broken through the nice girl routine. I note that Pacey is grinning at us both, clearly hoping for a cat fight, whilst Dawson is a picture of angst.

'I'm merely saying that the boys around here might read into your clothes,' I say coyly.

'Explain that?' Jen demands rooted to the spot.

'You might think the plunging neckline and the rising skirt line are sexy but the men around here are used to girls with a little more modesty. I would call the tight jeans and little tops a little trampy. I wouldn't say you look like a hooker yet, but lets just say the boys will have certain expectations,' I roll my eyes. God I hate her. I know I'm being childish but she's really pissed me off.

'Trampy? I'll have you know Joey that a girl shouldn't be judged by her clothes. I should be able to wear what I damn well please and the boys can make whatever assumptions they want about me because their assumptions don't amount to shit. As a woman I embrace the right to dress as I please and not be called to account for it. How would you like it if I judged you on your clothes?' Jens glaring at me and I hate it because I agree with everything she says. She continues,

'I could look at your little girl shorts and your childish vest tops and call you immature. I could take in your modest shirts and jumpers and your plain skirts and think you're boring. I could even assume you're a prude. I could take in your baggy jeans and plain sweaters and think you were about as sexual as a lump of cheese,' Jens words cut through me.

'And she wonders why I call her the Ice Queen?' Pacey asks rhetorically with a shake of his head. I am just about fuming now. God I'm so mad and something else. Something I don't understand.

'Firstly,' I turn to Jen, 'We're not all beautiful and so we don't all show ourselves off. Secondly, you're absolutely right and I just hate that. You should wear whatever you damn well want and I'd curse any man to judge you for it,' I tell her and Jen gulps in surprise, 'and thirdly, don't assume anything about me please. Fourthly,' I turn to Pacey and I knee him in the groin, 'thats for both of you describing me as a prude, likening my sexuality to a lump of cheese and for calling me Ice Queen one to many times,' I growl as Pacey falls to the floor with a satisfying bump.

'Jesus Joey,' he moans, 'Jen made the cheese comment.'

'I deserved it from Jen but you were just plain rude,' I inform him as Dawson takes my arm and leads me away whilst Jen helps Pacey to his feet.

'What the hell is wrong with you Joey?' Dawson asks and I give him a shrug. 'Look, just be nice,' Dawson orders me and so I am nice. The annoying thing is, as soon as I start being nice to Jen, the nicer she is and the more I like her.

'Why don't you just be yourself and stake your claim over Dawson?' Pacey chides me as we're walking home. He seems to have forgiven me for kneeing him and even gave me a sheepish apology. He knows exactly why it is I hate Jen so much despite thinking her so nice.

'I don't know what you're talking about,' I scowl at him crossing my arms defensively thanking the stars that he didnt tell me to do it only asked me why I didn't.

'You're jealous Potter. Jealous of our pure little Dawson lusting over the girl next door. You'd gotten used to being the girl next door and now you've been ousted by a girl worthy of _Playboy_. It's not sitting so good with you is it?' he's really enjoying my unhappiness and discomfort.

'At least I'm not lusting after a woman old enough to be my mother,' I taunt back using the secret Pacey told me against him. I know I shouldn't but he shouldn't tease me about Dawson like he does.

'Now don't go putting fantasies into my head Potter - you and Tamara together could really be something,' he warns flirtatiously so I hit him swiftly around the head. 'Ow,' he protests.

'Well it got rid of the fantasies didn't it?' I ask with a shrug and an evil smile.

'Wipe that smile off your face and kiss my head better,' he tells me pointing to his head. Rolling my eyes my hand goes to my face and I wipe at my smile which disappears and then much to Pacey's evident surprise I kiss him softly where moments earlier I hit him. We both stare at each other a little surprised but he quickly recovers,

'I didn't know you cared Potter,' he drawls, a cocky smile on that annoying face of his.

'I don't,' I try to walk off but he grabs at my hand.

'Na na,' he wags a finger at me pulling me back to his side. 'No interrupting Mr Leery's date. Now admit you care about me _sweet stuff_ ,' he's trying to embarrass me because of my impromptu kiss.

'I care,' I admit because I have no control and unfortunately I do care about the annoying, irritating, obnoxious, infuriating Pacey Witter.

'Now Joey that is just so nice to hear - what with all the sarcasm, biting remarks, the violence I could be excused for thinking that you didn't like me so much,' there's an evil glint in his eye. 'It sure is good to hear you care toots.'

'Bite me Pacey,' I throw at him and stalk off, catching up with Jen and Dawson.

'Don't tempt me,' I hear him call with a chuckle but I pretend I didn't.

* * *

'Hey Joey,' I hear Jen calling me, but feign deafness hurrying for the door. 'Joey, wait up.' Damnit, she had to tell me what to do. I halt immediately and wait for her.

'Hey Jen,' I say tucking my hair behind my ear because it's something to do. It's like sucking my thumb or something - it makes me feel safe.

'I thought maybe you'd like to come over to my house and work on that assignment for English?' Jen looks at me and I know she's nervous but somehow I don't care. I keep thinking of her and Dawson kissing and it makes me feel so jealous.

'Ooooh so we can bond,' I squeal in fake excitement, bitingly sarcastic. 'I don't think so,' I deadpan and she takes a step backwards clearly confused.

'Joey have I done something to offend you?' she asks me, her voice cracking slightly.

'No not at all,' I lie, my lie obvious by my sarcasm.

'Because you've been a real bitch to me ever since I got here and I only want to be your friend. Tell me why you hate me so much.'

Why the hell did she have to demand the truth? I know everything is about to spill from my lips, 'I resent you not hate you. Don't you get it? You come here from New York and you're everything I'm not. You have everything to offer as a friend and I have nothing. You come here and take Dawson away from me. He doesn't give me a second look or thought anymore because I just can't compete. You're interesting and sexy and I'm nothing, just boring and sexless and ordinary. You appear and my friends develop hormones. I wanted Dawson to notice me but he looks right through me to you. I feel left out in the cold.'

'Wow,' Jen whistles softly her expression shocked. 'That was pretty honest.'

'You wanted to know.'

'Look Joey we should be friends,' she says.

'Why?'

'Because were both lacking in female friendships and if you had a female friend you might know that I didn't mean to steal Dawson away from you. That's the last thing I'd do. I didn't know you liked him that way, but I can't help the way I feel about him either. I thought you and Pacey were, well I thought you were dating.'

'Pacey and me?'I laugh at the ludicrous suggestion.

'Yeah,' Jen shakes her head. 'Look, lets try at being friends Joey,' she suggests. 'If you hate it we can forget about it, but you might find it makes things easier. I can't promise to stay away from Dawson, but I am a good friend Joey.'

'I don't think so,' I shake my head but I feel slightly uncertain. Having a female friend does appeal.

'Come to tea at my house,' she maintains with authority sensing my uncertainty.

'Ok,' I agree instantly and she grins, not realising I'm following her to her house because I have to, not because I want to.

* * *

'Here try this on,' Jen chucks a dress at me and I put it on as told. It's not normally something I would wear. It's all flowery and floaty and it's pretty damn short on me but I'm an obedient girl and on the dress goes.

I was surprised to find the walk back to Jens quite fun. She chatted about this and that and asked me about my life. Not many people ask about me because they're either to embarrassed, they're worried they wont know how to react when I tell them or they've heard it on the grapevine and so don't bother. Not Jen. She asked why her Grams disapproves of us all and I told her. She told me a bit about why she left New York and I have to admit the Blond Bombshell from the Big Apple is growing on me. She's pretty experienced in the ways of the world, in a very different way to me, and I can't help but feel that I finally have someone to talk to about sex and stuff.

It was when we got to her house, Grams thankfully out, that she gave me hot chocolate and cookies and suggested I head to the dance with her at school tonight. I'd never normally go to the dance. Friday night is movie night, a tradition of Dawson, Pacey and I. But apparently Dawson is going to the dance, or so he told Jen when Jen told him she was going with Cliff. If Dawson is going then so is Pacey and I don't want to be watching movies by myself on a Friday night so I reluctantly agreed. Actually Jen said, _You're coming to the dance Joey Potter_ and I had little choice, but part of me is actually looking forward to it.

'Now that dress is perfect for you,' Jen nods her head rapidly. I look in the mirror and I actually like what I see. Not that I can imagine being caught dead in such a dress at a school dance but its kind of nice to see what I can look like. I mean I look girly. This is definitely a different me to the jeans and t-shirts I normally wear.

'Oh I could never wear a dress like this,' I stutter because even though I know it looks ok on me it's totally out of character for me. I feel different in it though, in a way I can't quite describe. I imagine Dawson seeing me in the dress, seeing me differently to the way he always has and suddenly I'm not so sure I want to take the dress off.

'You're wearing that dress Joey and it's final,' Jen says and that solves my dilemma.

'Ok,' I acknowledge cursing the curse that makes me do as I'm told. I always do just what I'm told whether a demand or request, indirect or otherwise. I can't physically not do what I'm told. I would be physically unable to remove the dress if I tried.

'Now let me paint your nails and do your hair and make-up,' it's a demand from Jen and so I have to allow it although I point out,

'I'm not your doll you know,' with a roll of my eyes.

'Yeah, but you're my friend,' she tells me and I realise I might like having a female friend. I'm probably such a geek because Dawson and Pacey are boys and I have no girls to guide me. I mean I have Bessie but she's totally wrapped up in Bodie and being pregnant, not to mention the Icehouse. She doesn't have time to do more than smudge some lipstick on me.

* * *

We stand looking in the mirror together and I have to admit that Jens has done a good job on me. I look almost pretty. I know it's the make-up and the dress and the way she's put my hair up in a bun with little curls falling out of it, but I feel good. Looking at Jen I also feel a bit inadequate. I look like a giantess next to her delicate frame, with her cute little dress and blond curls. I'm worried we've over done it but Jen points out that we're actually dressed quite casually.

We're wearing dresses but they're not really tight, or really short, or really fancy. Jen calls them day dresses and I suppose she's right. They look like summer day dresses. The dress I'm wearing is green and pink and not overly floral. It's a soft floaty material and it feels really nice on my bare legs.

'You look gorgeous Joey,' she tells me.

'No I don't,' I feel only self-conscious now, not gorgeous.

'Tell me you look gorgeous and mean it,' Jen orders.

'I look gorgeous,' I say with conviction and Jen laughs, calling her Grams to take a photo and spraying some perfume on me before I can jump out the way.

* * *

As we arrive at the dance I can't help wondering if Dawson will notice me. Of course now Jen and I are friends I feel slightly torn. I know she likes him and so do I. It's just that I don't just like him, I love him. Dawson and I have been best friends for so long it's like fate or destiny for us to be together. Of course it's not a fate and destiny that Dawson himself is aware of. Dawson is so oblivious. Pacey calls him oblivious all the time and I always used to defend Dawson, but for once Pacey is right. I could slap Dawson with a wet fish and he'd look around with a slightly bewildered expression and ask me what was going on.

As we walk into the decorated hall Pacey and Dawson are leaning against the drinks table. Pacey is staring at Miss Jacobs as she talks to another teacher but Dawson sees us. He grins at us both but stares at Jen, clearly in utter jaw dropping infatuation and he barely glances in my direction. Obviously I'm still a tomboy to him. I should have known that nothing would make him see me as anything other than little Joey Potter from across the creek. He walks over looking Dawson like in a dodgy waistcoat.

'You look beautiful,' he says to Jen his eyes wide and shiny, practically panting like a puppy dog.

'Do you want me to get you a mop Dawson?' I ask sweetly.

'What?' he doesn't even glance at me.

'A mop? So you can mop up your drool,' I snap but Dawson only frowns at me before smiling at Jen again.

'Doesn't Joey look pretty?' she asks Dawson and in an instant I almost want her to have Dawson because she's so nice.

'Yeah, you look lovely Joey, though I'm a little surprised at the effort you've made for a school dance,' he gives me an amused smile as if my dress and make-up are some sort of joke. Typical Dawson. Jen is more dressed up than me but I've made the abnormal effort. He makes me feel like such an idiot.

'See you guys,' I say and stalk off to the drinks table where Pacey is still leaning, staring intently at Miss Jacobs. 'I hope you've spiked the punch,' I say to him as I pour myself a drink.

'I took the liberty of...' he begins but trails off as he turns to look at me, his jaw dropping slightly and his eyes almost popping out. Now that was the reaction I wanted from Dawson. Sodding Pacey and his hormonal predictability gives me just the boost I need.

'You what?' I prompt as Pacey looks me up and down his mouth still agape.

'I um, took the um,' he coughs. 'You look really beautiful Potter,' he tells me gruffly his blue eyes wide and I suddenly feel very special. It's a nice warm feeling that washes over me at his words.

'You spiked the punch?' I ask quickly because I feel embarrassed by his compliment.

'Mmmmm,' he nods still staring at me, his finger reaching out to touch one of the soft curls framing my face. The gesture makes my heart race.

'Good,' I rush the words and turn to fill a cup, passing one to him. 'Lets drink.'

'Yeah lets,' Pacey grins and seems almost normal although he keeps looking at me kind of distractedly. We drink our drinks watching the people dance. Pacey keeps making silly comments about the music, the dancing or the dresses worn and I can't stop laughing. He's such a doofus at times. I watch as Dawson and Jen glide onto the dance floor and my jealousy rears its head again. I narrow my eyes as I watch them slow dance the alcohol swirling pleasantly in my stomach.

'You want to dance Jo?' Pacey asks suddenly rather serious.

'With you?' I scorn because I don't want to dance. I don't want to have everyone watch and laugh at something else about me. I don't exactly have rhythm.

'Yeah with me,' he rolls his eyes and holds out a hand.

'I'd rather not,' I tell him meanly drinking more punch.

'Get off your high horse Potter and dance with me,' he bites out and I'm on my feet and in his arms as the DJ plays some Spanish dance track. 'Not so bad, eh?' he asks with a grin. I just shrug looking over his shoulder at Jen and Dawson.

'Look Jo, Dawson's never going to notice you if all you do is mope. Now put some flair into your dancing. I want you to twirl and act like you've got a rhythmical bone somewhere in that body - dance like you're a pro,' Pacey tells me firmly and suddenly I'm moving like I didn't know I could move. Pacey is twirling me and laughing as we spin back and forth across the dance floor, his strong arms around me.

As we whirl around the dance floor I forget about Dawson and Jen. It feels like I'm flying as Pacey lifts me and twirls me, at times our bodies far apart and other times our bodies pressed close together. I had no idea Pacey could dance like this and when I catch a look at his face I don't think he knew he could dance like this either. I realize I'm probably leading, my unknown talent coming from his earlier demands. He's grinning like a Cheshire cat and I love the smile plastered on his face. The song ends and he leans down and whispers in my ear,

'Time to stop girlie,' his voice is low and it makes my tummy feel funny, as does the strange way he keeps looking at me, but I nod. As we head back to the punch bowl he gives me a look, 'so where did that come from?'

'What?' I ask innocently.

'That dancing? I didn't know you could dance like that it was awesome Jo,' he's not teasing and I blush under his compliment.

'Joey! That was amazing,' Jen is grinning at me. 'You have to teach me how to dance like that.'

'Where did you learn to dance like that?' Dawson asks, the only one to not compliment and to give me a suspicious look.

'Oh you know,' I fluster downing my glass of punch.

'Tell us where you learnt to dance like that?' Dawson narrows his eyes at me and I know he's questioning my secrecy.

'Pacey,' the name falls from my lips before I can even help it.

'What?' all three of them say in unison looking at me.

'I mean Pacey told me to dance and I danced. I figured he was leading,' I shrug.

'Well I wasn't,' Pacey shakes his head at me, looking at me with this funny expression on his face - something like awe and fascination. I have to admit I like it even if it is Pacey.

'Natural talent,' Jen tells everyone wisely.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys,**

 **Thanks for giving this story a chance! And thank you for the reviews:-) We're around season one as far as a time line goes. This ends up nearer season three in a couple of chapters.**

 **Please, please review and if you have any questions just ask! I know supernatural Capeside isn't really the done thing!**

 **Tabx**

 **P.s. As I wrote this years ago, I can't quite remember but I think there are a few lines from the show thrown in.**

 **Chapter Three**

My life really sucks. I know that's such a stereotypically teenage thing to say but I really think that I deserve to wallow at least a little. It's not like I have it easy. But then again, it's not like any teen has it _easy_ per say. The funny thing is it's not my unique situation that makes me feel so angst ridden. I mean, of course it doesn't help, and yeah I have to work a little harder, fight the rumours a little more vigilantly, but really I'm used to it. What I can't get used to is Dawson. He's my best friend and the way I feel about him is just so confusing. I wish mom was here so I could talk about it with her. Then again, if she was here I would probably be a normal teenager and talk to anyone but her. It's so confusing. I love Dawson but I just hate the way he looks through me. The only time he looks at me is when he wants me to act as a mirror to reflect his success, angst, or whatever the emotion of the day is.

I also hate Jen. I mean I know I actually like Jen because she's so nice, but I hate her because she has Dawson fixated. Suddenly Dawson is one hormonal penis. There I said it. Since Jen walked on the scene he's been pining away and I bet it's not just for that sweet personality of hers. I mean I like - Jen she's kind of feisty, but Dawson he seems to have her pinned as some angelic goody-goody - the only girl worthy of his love. It makes me want to puke. It would be nice if Jen and I could be better friends, but there is always the proverbial barrier that is Dawson Leery. I just can't seem to be nice to her when he's so busy lusting over her. I know I'm like a yo-yo with her. We get on great when we steer clear of Dawson related subjects but Dawson related subjects always seem to come up. Is it just me or does the world seem to revolve a little too much around him?

And then there's Pacey. I have never known a boy as obnoxious as Pacey. In fact, let me not be sexist about it. I have never known any individual or entity as obnoxious as he. I swear he looks at me funny sometimes and that just makes me hate him more. Pacey's always been blatant about things. He eats, he sleeps, he likes, he doesn't like. He's so vocal about all that bothers him or all that doesn't that you cant help but know just what he's thinking. Or so I always thought. Not anymore. There's this look he gives me sometimes and I just can't place it. I also think he has secrets. For a start there's this Miss Jacobs fiasco.

I know Pacey has being seeing Miss Jacobs. Or at least I think I know. I can't believe a forty year old teacher could take advantage of him and get away with it. I mean I'm not sure about what rumour is true and what isn't, or what's what really. However, the shit hit the fan about a couple of days ago and there's some hearing in town today. An investigation into Miss Jacob's behaviour. The student body is split in its belief, but if I know Pacey I wouldn't be surprised if the rumours are all true.

I'm walking along the dock. I like to go there and think about life in general. Sometimes when I miss mom, or Bessie is being an uber bitch, or Dawson is being Dawson - it's a nice space. The sea makes my problems feel really small. I guess the same is true for Pacey because I see him sitting on a bench looking out to sea and he seems pretty forlorn. I feel sorry for him. God I hate myself but I can't help walking over and sitting down beside him.

'Hey, Jail bait,' I greet him.

'Feel free to keep on walking. I won't think you're rude,' he seems so sad.

'Look, despite first impressions, I'm not here to bust on you. I don't know if the rumours are true or exaggerated, or if this is one of your bizarre attempts to appear more attractive to the senior girls. But, I just wanted to say I know what you must be going through, and...' I'm teasing slightly but my concern is evident. He's clearly not in the mood though.

'No. I really doubt you know what I'm going through,' he scowls and looks down at his hands. Bastard he has to go and turn all Dawson ego-centric on me. Normally Pacey doesn't make me spell things out.

'Well, let me see,' I begin, my voice slightly strained, 'People stare at you when you walk down the hall, we've seen that. They whisper behind your back. You suddenly overhear your name in a conversation of strangers. And pretty soon a justifiable paranoia sets in and whether they are or not, you are convinced that everyone is talking about you. Imagine if you had done something even worse,' I point out.

'Like what?' he asks turning those deep blue eyes on me. God I'm going to have to sharpen my resistance against those eyes. When did Pacey Witter go and develop eyes that creep into your soul? I take a deep breath,

'Well like sharing a house with your pregnant unwed sister and her black boyfriend, while your father serves time on a drug conviction,' I state and Pacey looks kind of contrite. 'Imagine that Pacey. We actually have something in common: providing gossip for the small-minded townsfolk. And unfortunately for you, you're tonight's top story,' I give his arm a squeeze.

'Great. So what do I do now?'

'Same thing I did. You pray like hell for a better story to come along,' I give him a small smile uncertain about the reception it'll get but he smiles back.

'Wanna provide the better story?' he asks in a hopeful voice.

'I think I've done more than my fair share in providing entertainment for the towns gossipers,' I'm pleased by the smile but not his request.

'I beg to differ Josephine,' he states.

'Did I not just reiterate my scandalous crimes against the good folk of Capeside?' I ask wondering where he's going with this.

'But none of those were your crimes Josephine,' he's got an evil glint in his eye and I begin to get nervous. I cross my arms defensively and shift away from him on the bench.

'Look Pace, you better not be about to rag on me. I came in peace and I'm certainly not planning on providing some scandal to remove the limelight from you. And before you go anywhere with that idea you might want to remember that I'm sleep deprived. I live with a baby who has such bad taste in movies that only _The English Patient_ will put him to sleep, and believe me Pacey, the baby **_never_** sleeps. And if the baby doesn't sleep I don't sleep. If I don't sleep, I get angry. I get irritable and I can no longer maintain my sunny disposition. So Pacey, if you even have the slightest bit of human decency you'd not go there, because the scandal I make might just be your murder. In fact I think you should reward my concern for you with a copy of _The English Patient_ free of charge and bring me 181 minutes of peace in my otherwise wretched life,' finally I breathe.

'You know, in my professional opinion, you don't need a video, you need a pharmacy,' Pacey tells me unhelpfully.

'Will you get me the film or not Pace?' I ask and he nods, so we stand and begin to walk to the video store.

'You know Dawson's having a video night tonight just he and Jen,' Pacey looks at me, a sly expression on his face. I look determinedly at my shoes. I won't admit the truth to Pacey Witter.

'So?' I shrug.

'Look, Joey, I've never really taken a particular interest in your life, 'cause frankly your life has never been particularly interesting, but there is one thing I need to know?' he's looking at me but I won't look at him. When I say nothing, he continues,

'You're really pleased Jens ex is in town and it's driving a much coveted wedge between our two star-crossed lovers,' he grins.

'No Pacey, you're such... it's not like that at all. You don't know what you're talking about,' I fluster because he's too damn near to demanding the truth from me.

'See, the three of us have been friends too long, and up until now, I've just kind of stood idly by and watched this all go down. But it's time to lay this on the line, okay? You have some raging hormonal obsession for our friend Dawson, and you just can't wait to get your hooks into him but good, can you? Huh? Admit it.'

'I have a raging hormonal obsession for Dawson and I'm just waiting to get my hooks into him,' I glare at him as the words tumble from me. I slam my hands over my mouth and we both stare at each other. If I wasn't so terrified at what I just admitted I might appreciate the picture that is Pacey's face. I have never seen him speechless before but he's staring at me as if he doesn't know me, jaw dropped, eyes wide, cocky demeanour slumped. He didn't expect _that_! As we stare at each other his eyes start to twinkle and a cocky smile tweaks at the corner of his mouth, spreading across his face. He knows I told him the truth.

'Did you mix up your red and blue pills this morning?' he asks, 'because that sounded like a bonefied confession of love.'

'Lets not talk about it,' I grump and stalk off. Of course he's right beside me.

'Tell me how long this has been going on for,' he's speaking in his annoying Pacey knows best voice. The patronising voice that seeps information from you that he then uses in battle at a later date.

'Since I hit puberty,' damn the curse.

'So what, all of three weeks?' he teases and I just glare at him. 'Seriously Jo, if you're so desperate for some Dawson loving you should go tell him how you feel,' he is walking backwards so he can take in every little expression I make.

'Ok,' I squeak in agreement and Pacey grabs my hand with a gleeful laugh tugging me towards Dawson's house. I want to stop walking. I don't want to tell Dawson. Damn Pacey because now I have no choice.

* * *

'I can't believe you're going to do this,' Pacey is grinning as we climb the ladder to Dawson's room. I'm ahead of him and he doesn't see my scowl.

'Neither can I,' I mutter concentrating on climbing. I stumble into Dawson's room closely followed by Pacey and my worst fears are realised when I see Jen and Dawson lying way to close on the bed watching a movie.

'Hey guys,' Dawson smiles and Jen gives me a sheepish look, our friendship still tempestuous. 'What are you doing here?'

'Joey's got something to say,' Pacey looks at me, barely able to contain his excitement. 'Tell him how you feel Jo,' he says unnecessarily. His earlier demand for me to tell Dawson all is why we are here right now after all.

'Dawson I love you. I want to be your girl friend, not the girl you look through to see the nearest blond haired, big boobed girl. I'm sick and tired of you taking me for granted. I am a girl, not some asexual being that is happy to simply follow you around like a puppy dog. Pacey and I aren't extras on the Dawson movie even if that's how it seems to you. I want to be your leading lady. God that sounds cliché but you only seem to understand what's being said when we talk in movie terms...' I trail off.

'Any other home truths?' Dawsons face is blank.

'Yeah, I hate your sweater vests and you have a big forehead,' I whisper and Pacey, the bastard, chuckles.

'Maybe I should go,' Jen is looking at me like I've defied whatever friendship we were building.

'No don't,' I cover my face with my hands.

'I think that's best. We need to talk Joey,' Dawson says and he's using that patronising voice which means he's not about to take me in his arms and kiss me like there's no tomorrow. Damn Pacey.

* * *

I feel so angry I can't see straight. I somehow make it from Dawson's house to the video store and I don't even notice how I got there. I storm into the video store, satisfied by the way the door bangs loudly and the several cases fall to the floor with a clatter. Pacey is sat behind the counter, feet up, reading a magazine. His eyes widen and I know I must look as furious as I feel.

'You,' I shout.

'Me?' he echoes pointing to himself and looking around hopefully.

'Yeah you,' I'm at the counter and I reach over, grab his magazine and throw it to the floor. Sliding over the counter in one swift movement, I knock his legs to the floor and grab the front of his shirt. He looks really freaked but he deserves it.

 _ **Twenty minutes earlier at Dawson's**_

 _'Look Joey, you can't be angry at me for not feeling about you the same way you feel about me,' Dawson looked at me so intensely._

 _'I'm not mad just...'_

 _'Disappointed?' he filled in for me not giving me the time to finish._

 _'Yeah, I guess,' I sighed feeling sick with embarrassment._

 _'I really like Jen and I see you as a friend,' he continued. 'I can't help that.'_

 _'This is all Pacey's fault,' I groaned barely listening to him._

 _'Pacey's fault?' Dawson didn't understand._

 _'He told me to tell you,' I glared at Dawson._

 _'Well then be mad at him not me,' Dawson tells me. So I left Dawson to seek out Pacey._

 _ **Back in the video store...**_

'What did I do?' Paceys eyes are searching my face rapidly as I move behind the counter and shake him slightly. I detect a smirk beneath the clueless front.

'You think it's all so funny. Get silly little Joey to tell Dawson all about how she feels even though you know he doesn't feel the same,' I scrunch the front of his shirt tighter in my hand and shake him again.

'Well...it...I.. you didn't have to,' he stutters, torn between his amusement and his fear.

'You're such a moron,' I yell pushing at him so he falls off his chair backwards.

'And you're clearly suffering from a murderous bout of menstrual tension,' he scolds, rubbing his butt as he stands up, neither cross nor upset.

'Don't you dare go blaming this on my being a girl. This whole thing is an issue because you and Dawson don't see me as one. It's so typical of a boy to use the pre menstrual stress line whenever a girl gets angry at them. And you know perfectly well that I'm always angry,' I shout. Pacey chuckles at this. A chuckle that infuriates me further,

'It is true. You were sent to earth from the dark side,' he muses.

'I loathe you,' I stamp my foot.

'Tell me how you really feel,' he rolls his eyes in amusement. Bastard always telling me what to do.

'How I really feel?' I give a sarcastic little laugh. 'You infuriate me Pacey. I think that it is entirely your fault that Dawson has suggested we spend less time together so I can, and I quote, " _learn to deal with my love for him_." I feel that you must hate me because you seem to go out of your way to make my life difficult and it's not like it isn't hard enough already. I know my life doesn't exactly register on your interest levels but I feel like the last eleven years of being friends with me has meant nothing to you. Then other times I feel like you know me too well. You can make me feel better than anyone else but also worse than anyone else can and I feel that you use that skill depending on your mood without even thinking about me. I feel like you see me as an asexual irritation who is too immature to understand what Tamara meant to you, who's too stupid to have a real relationship with anyone else. I feel ugly. I feel like I'm not worth loving and that no one loves me, that I'm just an asexual, unlovable girl who's not really worth anyones time of day. I feel...'

'Whoa there Joey. You can stop,' he tells me in a breathy voice and we both seem relieved when my angry verbal diarrhoea comes to an abrupt halt. We stare at each other defensively our noses practically touching. Then Pacey takes a step nearer to me and my back presses against the counter. His body is so near to mine that I can feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. His breath is on my face and I'm surprised at how minty it smells. There's something happening between us and I don't have a clue what it is. He's looking at me with this weird expression, kind of like a kid looks at a piece of chocolate cake it really wants to eat. It reminds me of how he looked at me during the dance when I was all dressed up, like he's seeing me for the first time.

But I'm not dressed up. I'm wearing my baggy jeans and a plain top. I look like Joey Potter, tomboy extraordinaire and yet there's something in Pacey's eyes that makes my heart race and puts a funny feeling in my stomach and between my legs. I can't seem to look away from his eyes and I don't want to. They're so deep and blue. Not normal blue like Dawson's, but blue like the ocean - totally variable and unpredictable. Pacey puts a hand on either side of the counter, putting me between his arms and my breath catches. Suddenly I understand what's between us. It's chemistry. Some kind of explosive and unexpected sexual chemistry that neither of us saw coming.

I know it's the chemistry drawing us closer and yet I'm powerless to stop it as he stares at me relentlessly with those unbelievably beautiful eyes of his. When did Pacey Witter's eyes become so damn beautiful?

'Is it really wrong that I want to kiss you right now?' he asks at length and his voice is like a warm bath. The words seep around me and into me making me hot all over. His deep tones have something in them I've never heard before - a yearning. I gulp because the question has just vocalised what is practically already happening.

Pacey leans in and suddenly his lips are on mine, ever so soft and ever so gentle, and ever so amazing. My pulse starts to hammer throughout my body and I know I'm shaking. God this feels _so good_. His lips move and part mine and then his tongue is exploring my mouth. Oh god, I think I'm going to fall over. Who knew Pacey could kiss like this? Who knew he could blur reality with a kiss? One of his hands moves from the counter and into my hair, pushing my mouth to his with more urgency and my body totally betrays me by responding, a soft moan coming from somewhere deep inside me and escaping into the warmth of his kiss.

The small noise I make causes Pacey to press himself against me with more need and I can feel the hardness of his, well of his...oh my god, I'm kissing Pacey in the video store - fuck why am I doing this?

'Pacey,' I protest breaking the kiss. Just because he can make the world spin with a kiss doesn't mean I should be kissing him. I mean, what on earth does he think he's doing? 'Have you totally lost it?' I ask snappily blushing deeply because we both know the effect the kiss had on me. 'I share some of my inner most thoughts with you and you take it as a reason to maul me?' I'm on a tirade and he's looking at me slightly abashed, apparently as confused at his behaviour as I am.

'Consider it a momentary lapse in concentration,' he flusters, wiping his hands nervously on his jeans.

'A momentary lapse?' I fume.

'Well you were talking and something kind of happened,' he looks at me hopefully.

'Yeah, you proved what a hormonal ass you are. Thank you Satan for making this day complete,' I mutter before manoeuvring my way from behind the counter and heading for the door before Pacey demands I tell him anything or worse still, tries to discuss my response to that kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys,**

 **Thanks for reading and thanks for reviewing! I'm sorry I beg for reviews and thank you to the people who take the time - despite posting stories on here I'm not the world's most confident person. Reviews undo the self doubt associated with putting yourself out there, so thanks! And please keep it up;-)**

 **Tabx**

 **Chapter 4**

Walking into school on Monday morning is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. If there was ever a weekend of weekends it was this last weekend. Not only do I tell Dawson I love him, but I just about ruin whatever friendship Jen and I were building in the process and to put the cherry on the cake, if you can call it that, I let Pacey kiss me. And I moan. I moan when he kisses me. And I felt his...well lets not go there. And worst of all, Bessie told me to tell her why I was trying to avoid going to school and I told her everything - yes everything, even all about Pacey's thingy and the weird sexual chemistry between us.

And then Bessie was such a know all about it and she told me exactly what to say to Dawson, Jen and Pacey. And knowing exactly what I'm going to say to them, I'm dreading seeing them because Bessie is about as subtle as a brick wall at times. I love her and all but really, is it her ultimate goal to humiliate me?

I see Dawson first and he's talking to Jen. Now there's a surprise. My feet drag me to his locker and I immediately burst into my spiel.

'Um. Dawson,' I stutter and he and Jen look at me. 'Um, grow up because lord knows you need to,' I can hear Bessie saying the words in my head as I blabber on, 'I've been in love with you for a long time without you knowing it and just because you now do know it is no reason for you to get all high and mighty about what has been a good, solid friendship. I don't agree with this whole friendship on hold thing because I think it's better if were just friends anyway,' I scowl as I say the last bit. Bessie is so manipulative when it comes to keeping me away from boys I like and thus keeping me away from sex.

Dawson stares at me, kind of dumbfounded, his jaw gaping slightly.

'Joey,' Dawson begins, but I turn to Jen,

'Jen, I'm sorry about telling your on off boyfriend I love him but I've had these feelings for longer than you've been here and they were bound to come out. Also I understand how hard it is trying to fit into a new school, and I understand the importance of female solidarity. So I am sorry. I will not do something like that again unless your relationship with Dawson is defined as off. Also, I would like to be your friend and so would you like to come to my house for pancakes?'

'Why, um...' Jen is as speechless as Dawson and I have to admit Bessies upfront approach is having an amusing effect. 'Sure, I'd love to,' she eventually mutters as Pacey strolls up. Great, I could have done with talking to Pacey without Jen and Dawson as onlookers.

'Hello fellow Capsidians,' Pacey greets us, clamping his hands onto my shoulders and grinning broadly at Dawson and Jen.

'Pacey,' I escape his grip and look at him, 'Keep your hands off me. And don't ever take a conversation that is deeper than our normal verbal banter as an invitation to kiss me. And you keep that thing in your pants well away from me,' I flush crimson as I say the latter and storm off because Pacey's stunned and slightly hurt face is as hard to stand as Dawson and Jens laughter. Pacey will just think I'm mad and mean old Joey, the proverbial prudish ice queen - but what could I do? I've done as I was told, for now at least.

* * *

Jen and I are in the kitchen at my house. Bessie is at the Ice House and Alexander is at the sitters. The walk home was pretty quiet but now there's no escape. We have to talk, we have to bond. Fuck.

'So how's it living with your Grams?' I ask, but I realise Jen is looking at me kind of funny. 'What?' I ask defensively.

'So Pacey kissed you, huh?' she asks her eyes twinkling.

'Look I didn't ask you over to talk about that, I thought we could bond in other ways. Talking about the tongue action of that punk-ass is not on the agenda.'

'Ok Joey,' Jen softens as she turns on the stove so we can make pancakes from the batter Bodie prepared for us. 'Living with Grams is interesting. She's a Christian and I'm an atheist. She's pious and I'm... well, in her eyes a slut.'

'A slut?' my eyes must bug.

'In the eyes of my Grandmother you're probably a slut.'

'But I've... well, I've only ever kissed a boy,' I stammer.

'Pacey?' Jens eyes shine in triumph.

'Jen,' I warn.

'Ok, ok,' Jen chuckles and she tells me about why she got sent to Capeside. I had no idea I have to admit. I really respect her for being so upfront about it and I can actually kind of understand it. I know I'm the proverbial Ice Queen but having sex too young or not having sex or anything like it seem to be responses to inner insecurities. I feel so low I could never let someone that near to me. I want to be loved in every way before that ever happens, and sex between two individuals that don't care about each other just seems empty and meaningless.

But then again, maybe in a different situation or with a different personality, say Jens, I might have sex to make myself feel loved. To get the attention of those I wanted to love me. I might hope that the other person would grow to love me in all other ways.

I'm surprised to find that I've said all this to Jen. And Jen respects me. I can tell by the way she's looking at me. Best of all, the respect is mutual. We've reached an understanding. Two totally different girls, with two totally different responses to not feeling loved.

'We've bonded huh?' Jen winks at me as she bites into one of the blueberry pancakes.

'Yeah,' I nod shyly.

'So tell me about Pacey,' she requests. Even if it hadn't have been a demand I would have told her. We _have_ bonded.

'There's nothing really to tell. I didn't want to tell Dawson what I did, but Pacey, well he convinced me and I got mad, told him how frustrated he makes me at times and he kissed me.'

'Tell me about the kiss,' Jens eyes are glinting. She's going somewhere with this.

'Oh well,' I feel warmth flood my body at the thought, 'he _can_ kiss. He stepped up near to me until our bodies were touching, and there was this _electric_ charge between us. Then he said he wanted to kiss me and leant down until he _was_ kissing me. I've never felt anything like it. It was like falling into a black hole, but it felt delicious and hedonistic and intoxicating and...'

'You've so got the hots for him,' Jen chuckles.

'I have not,' I glare at her.

'Sounds like it to me,' she shrugs.

'Just because he kisses well doesn't alter the fact that he's Pacey Witter, looser, buttplug and total sexist toad.'

'Who are you trying to convince?' Jen queries with an arched brow.

'Uugh, I've changed my mind, you're not my friend,' I pull her plate and pancake from her with a scowl but she just laughs knowing I'm joking. 'Seriously Jen. Pacey and I don't like each other. Ask anyone.'

* * *

There's a knock at the door and it wakes Alexander. Bessie shouts at me as she goes to see him. I've been irritating her. Apparently my not having a room is a massive inconvenience to her as I'm always under foot. I answer the door and who should be there but Pacey.

'Oh thank you, Satan, for completing this day of horrors by sending one of your disciples to finish me off,' I say scathingly.

'Umm, what are you doing tonight?' Pacey is 100% not bothered by my remark and he acts as if I hadn't even spoken. He looks at me and then he scratches me under the chin like I'm a baby, 'Uhh, forget I said that - this is you,' he teases as I lean against the doorframe. I move into the house and let the screen door bang closed onto him. 'Wait...' he beseeches following me into the house without invite. 'I was just out looking for a date and since I couldn't find one, I thought of you,' he gives me a gallant grin.

'Oh,' I feign disinterest as I flop down on the couch a.k.a my bed.

'So, how 'bout it? Wanna go crash a beach party with me? Huh?' he gives me a flirtatious grin flopping onto the couch beside me and putting his feet up on the coffee table.

'Oh gee whiz, you know... as much as that sounds like so much fun, you know, I am kind of busy,' I do my best bimbo voice.

'Come on, Jo, it'll be fun,' he ignores my negativity.

'Look I've got work later and after I serve the one hundred millionth seafood platter, finish picking up the broken glass from the ice maker, scrap the mung out of the ventilators, I was thinking maybe of taking my tip money and flying to the Canary Islands and opening an offshore account. What do you think of that? Better than some beach party,' I roll my eyes.

'You know, when was the last... ok, alright, alright. Damn, Joey, when was the last time you went out and had some fun, alright?'

'Don't ask,' I can't really remember when I last had fun. A brief flash of Pacey kissing me enters my head unbidden but I quickly push it away.

'Look Joey, go,' Bessie is looking down at us, Alexander on her hip.

'What?' I look at her confused.

'Go to the party with Pacey. Have some fun,' she's telling me and so I stand and Pacey grins and stands with me.

'The Ice House?' I query.

'I'll handle it. Go have a night of teenage normalcy. I don't think I could cope with another five hours of you anyway,' Bessie grins and ushers Pacey and I out the door. Who knew my sister had a heart?

* * *

So Pacey and I are at this party. It's at this really nice house right on the beach but it's like my worst nightmare. All the popular kids are here and I feel totally out of place. However Bessie ordered a night of teenage normalcy and it seems that teenage normalcy is to get totally bladdered and make out with a random guy. Have I mentioned lately that I hate Bessie?

'Alright then, this the best party or what?' Pacey rubs his hands together and grins at me.

'Oh, yeah. Time of my life. I'm ready for the group hug whenever you are,' I quip back.

'Oh, Melissa at one o'clock. Girl of my dreams right there. How do I look?' Pacey looks at me running a hand through his messy hair.

'Like a before picture of an after-geek remover,' I tell him blithely.

'Easy, doll. Jealousy is not going to get you anywhere,' he gives me a lavish wink and he's off in search of the blond. Why are all the guys in my life disappearing in relentless search of a blond? Speaking of blonds, there's Dawson.

'Hey Dawson,' I smile and wave and he wonders over.

'What are you doing here?' he's clearly in total shock that I'm there.

'Having a night of teenage normalcy,' I shrug.

'What's say we get a movie and head back to mine?' he asks looking totally out of place.

'Sounds good, but I think I'll hang here,' it's not like I have a choice.

'Oh well let me get you a drink,' he says and heads off but he's intercepted by Jen.

So I'm standing here and I'm waiting. Both Dawson and Pacey have been gone for like ten minutes and then a guy offers me a drink and I take it - you know it's all about teenage normalcy and I'm all up for them teenage kicks.

You know what, I think alcohol is great. Why is the drinking age so high when getting drunk is so much fun? I mean I've not felt this chilled out, well I've never felt this chilled out. I feel like I could kiss the world. The worlds not such a bad place really. The sky is blue, well mostly, and even if my mom is dead and my dad's in jail I have my friends - my weird friends. And I have Bessie. And we have the Ice House. And I have my brain. My brain is awfully precious. You know _I'm gonna get out of this place, if it's the last thing I ever do, dum dum_ who sang that damn song and where is my drink? Blondie went to get it ages ago.

I have my own blond. I'm so proud of myself. He's a little overweight so I guess he'd even pass as buxom. Wow, Dawson and Pacey would be so jealous. Actually they wouldn't. They don't notice me because I have **BROWN** hair. I almost forgot.

'Not that I care, but you may want to pace yourself with this stuff,'Pacey says. Where the hell did he come from? I thought he was with his blond Melissa big boobs or whatever her name is. Pacey sounds so serious and I want to just squeeze that cute little face of his. I grin at him as a sudden rush of love for him washes through me,

'Pacey, I know I don't say it enough but you're a really terrific friend,' I tell him and I know my damn words are slurring but I can't seem to make them stop.

'Uh, ok, thanks, yeah,' Pacey dismisses my affection and it's really irritating.

'Is this guy bothering you, Chloe?' my buxom blond is back and his really, really heavy arm is around my shoulders.

'Okay, just a couple of things. First, her name is not Chloe, it's Joey and second, no, I'm not hitting on her. I'm just her friend,' Pacey tells blondie sternly. Check out Pacey being all authoritive. He's quite sexy like that. What the hell am I thinking. Pacey is a twerp and twerps aren't sexy, ergo Pacey isnt sexy. It's the authority that's sexy. He takes my drink from me and mutters _God knows_ , under his breath before I take Mr Blondie and stalk off.

* * *

Somehow my blond dude and I have ended up on the beach. He keeps taking me away from everyone and I keep trying to lead him back but everything is kind of fuzzy. I feel all I don't know, like kissing and being kissed, but not by the blond pig man beside me. I keep thinking of Pacey's kiss and my tummy is bubbling. The world is spinning, literally round and round and round and round and round and hey, there's a big disgusting tongue in my mouth.

'Alright, Jo. Say good-bye to the nice serial rapist man,' Pacey is saying and thank god the slimy tongue is out of my mouth.

'Good bye nice serial rapist man,' I say but blondie is having none of it and he starts saying stuff to me. I don't really get what because everything is kind of blurry and I'm falling onto the sand but I don't think Pacey likes whatever Mr Man says because I see him punch him.

'Are you alright Jo?' Pacey is kneeling in the sand beside me.

'My hero,' I coo and he chuckles.

'I need to get you home,' he says.

'I can't go home,' I shake my head.

'And why can't you go home?' he looks at me like I'm mad.

'I'm having a night of teenage normalcy,' I tell him.

'You want to get drunk and stick your tongue down some random guy's throat?' he says.

'Is that teenage normalcy?'

'I say teenage normalcy is whatever you want it to be. Besides which, you're drunk and you've stuck your tongue down some guys throat,' Pacey is lying in the sand next to me.

'Are you drunk?' I ask.

'I'm getting there,' he states with a wink.

'Uuggg Pacey that winky flirty thing you do it's not gonna work just because _I'm_ drunk,' I groan.

'My night of teenage normalcy is only half complete,' he points out. 'Drunk but no making-out.'

'What happened to the lucky farm animal of choice?'

'Melissa, Melissa,' he muses. 'I missed her.'

'You're such a such a...' I trail off. God I'm drunk.

'Such a what?'

'Social halfwit,' I tell him.

'And you're a lush little miss,' he accuses back.

'You're just as inebriated as I am,' I defend.

'But I wasn't the one with my tongue down Mr would be rapists throat,' he clarifies.

'Just leave me alone,' I turn my head away from him, knowing that he's not going anywhere.

'Joey, what turns women on? You know makes them horny?' the question isn't a come on. He's just being Pacey, _and_ he's trying to make me blush.

'Your polar opposite?' I smirk because he walked right into it.

'You know that's really clever how you turn all your sexual repression into humour,' he laughs that crackly laugh of his, slightly sarcastic and caustic. The one where he's amused but not really amused. The one that tells me I'm irritating him as much as he irritates me.

'I am not sexually repressed,' I protest drunkenly turning to look at him as the sun sets.

'Sure, and Madonna's a virgin,' he rolls his eyes. I'm starting to feel more sober the angrier he makes me.

'I am not sexually repressed,' I state more firmly.

'I bet you if Dawson walked over here right now and offered himself to you on a platter, asked you to do the dirty with him, you know Jo, bump uglies. I bet if he asked you right now to do that, you'd say no,' Pacey's doing it on purpose. I just know he is. He wants to make me burst.

'I happen to think sex should be between two people who love each other and so I might refuse because as Dawson has made it very clear that he doesn't love me,' I slur.

'Ok lets rephrase - up comes Dawson and he looks you in the eye and he says " _Joey, I've thought about your declaration of love and I've realized how much you mean to me. I'm an oblivious fool and I spend far to long procrastinating and analyzing but I know now that I love you and I'd like nothing more than to express that love through doing it,_ "' Pacey finishes mimicking Dawson.

'Dawson would never say " _doing it_ ,"' I frown.

'Doing it, fuck, lay, screw, poke, hump, copulation, poontang, bang, shag, bonk, rumpy-pumpy, wham, bam, thank you ma'am - at the end of the day you can call it what you want. It's all sex and if you call it any of those or you call it making love, it's the same thing. If Dawson said "I want to make love to you," the act is still the same. It's still _sex_ ,' he emphasises the word.

 _'Poontang_?' it's all I can think to say and I giggle slightly. I must be really drunk.

'It's probably from the French word _putain_ which means prostitute,' Pacey mutters rather shyly.

'Anyway,' I gather my wits. 'The point is you don't know that I wouldn't do it,' I'm trying to prove I'm not sexually repressed but I'm getting kind of scared because I think Pacey might be proving I am. If Dawson did come up to me and say all Pacey just said, I'd not do it with him. I'd be far to scared. I'd be terrified.

'I do know you wouldn't do it, because you're not ready,' he's not ragging on me now, just stating what is true.

'No I'm not,' I agree, but that doesn't make me sexually repressed.

'True. What makes you sexually repressed is the fact that sex totally flummoxes you. You don't know how to handle sexual desire. When you get hot for someone, when the very presence of them makes your pulse race and puts this beating sensation between your legs - you don't know what to do,' as he speaks he leans nearer and holy shit I'm totally buggered. Stick a fork in me, I'm done. What the hell is it about Pacey Witter and the way he smells (which is so unbelievably divine) and his body next to mine that makes me turn to mush? My pulse isn't just racing - it's off the chart, and the throbbing between my legs is almost painful and resisting kissing him how can I do it? There's so much electricity between us I swear I can hear it crackling.

'And do you know what else?' he asks, his breath warm in my ear. I think he might kiss me but he doesn't. I'm totally frozen.

'What?' the word is no louder than a whisper.

'You're feeling exactly what I'm feeling and you're fighting it. Stop fighting it Jo, it's not going to hurt you,' his lips briefly touch down on my ear and a bolt of something extremely pleasant rushes from my ear to my tummy and lower. A small whimper escapes my lips.

Stop fighting it. I instantly loose any resistance I had to whatever it is that exists between Pacey and I. I don't understand it but I'm not thinking about that as I put my hand on his. I don't need to think any further because our lips come together and all the sensations I was feeling sky rocket and explode until I don't know what's what. Where I end and Pacey begins becomes this blurry line as he presses into me, these gorgeous little groans coming from him as he kisses me like he'd die if he stopped.

He moves his body so it's lying flush with mine and we twist in the sand so he's half on me and I can feel how much he wants me and instead of it scaring me it just intensifies the pulsing desire between my legs. I want the hardness between his legs between mine and I don't fight it, I shift so that it's there and I've never felt anything like it. I moan and he groans as his hips move against mine and I think my body is about to combust.

'What the hell, get off her man,' Dawson's voice breaks into the mesmerising, delicious moment. 'Hey jerk thats my friend you're taking advantage of.'

Pacey rolls off of me and I hate the loss of his warm body and his hard...well _that thing_. Still under Pacey's command I don't fight the urge I feel to move nearer. I shift in the sand.

'Pacey?' Dawson is gobsmacked but I still allow my hand to caress the hard muscles of Pacey's stomach. Who knew Pacey had muscles? 'Joey get away from him,' Dawson commands disgusted and instantly I withdraw from Pacey. From the command of one boy to the command of another. 'Pacey?' Dawson questions again staring at Pacey in utter astonishment, then looking from me to him and back and forth and back and forth and I'm so dizzy, the world is all swirly and now it's gone.


	5. Chapter 5

**So happy people are enjoying this! Remember I was younger when I wrote this, no marriage, no kids...it has a different feel to it as a result! I really loved writing it.**

 **Thank you for reviewing - you guys rock and please keep it up. The next four days are crazy, crazy for me, but I will keep trying to post every day - the reviews give me focus!**

 **Tabx**

 **P.s. Curses origins are revealed. It's a little shaky but this is DC...**

 **Chapter 5**

I feel sick. I feel so sick I think I might die. Oh God what the hell is that noise, that burring noise. I lean up on my elbow and open and eye and there's Bessie, an expression on her face I don't get, but obviously taking pleasure in using the blender to make pancake mix.

'Don't even look at me like that Joey,' she says. 'You're on at the Icehouse in an hour so you better get up. I've made pancakes and coffee.'

'Are you mad at me?' I ask uncertainly as I ignore the throbbing in my head. Bessie stalks over and chucks down a couple of advil onto my covers and puts a glass of water in my hand.

'I can't be mad at you. It's my fault,' she says sheepishly. 'Hence the pancakes and coffee...' she trails off.

'What's your fault?' I rub my eyes feeling a bit better as the water quenches my parched throat.

'You being delivered back here last night by Dawson and Pacey, totally drunk.'

'They brought me back here?' I can't seem to remember anything about last night although I do have a really disturbing image of a plump blond guy that keeps surfacing.

'They brought you back here,' Bessie confirms. 'They thought they were being so quiet. It was actually kind of sweet. They dropped you on the couch and while Dawson saw to your shoes, Pacey tried to keep Alexander quiet. He was telling him all about the _English Patient_ with much dramatic flair,' Bessie arches an eyebrow at me and I just smile. Pacey hates the film but Dawson forced us to watch it. Kind of sweet that he remembered its effect on Alexander.

'So why is it your fault again?' I ask as she puts some pancakes she's already made and coffee on the table that I struggle to sit at.

'I told you to have a night of teenage normalcy. I guess I forgot what that involves,' she shrugs.

'And despite this being your fault, I still have to go to work?' I query with my best hopeful little sister smile and Bessie frowns. Damn it.

* * *

Will this shift never end? I mean why does everyone want coffee and clams and cake and why the hell can't they just get it themselves? It,s Sunday. The day of resting and doing homework, not making poor unfortunate high school girls wait on you. Aargh I hate them all, though at the lunch time rush is at least abating.

'Hey Joey,' Jen slips onto a stool, looking a little depressed in both in demeanour and dress.

'Hey,' I barely manage civility and she's a customer I'm actually pleased to see.

'So I heard some things about you at the party last night,' Jen insinuates as I automatically pour her a coke. My head must snap round because I get a sharp pain in my head from the sudden movement.

'I thought you spent the evening with Dawson?' I ask brightly suddenly not sure I want to hear about last night. Jen's tone is ominous to say the least.

'We kind of broke up, for good this time,' Jen shrugs and looks into her coke as if she might catch a glimpse of the future in there.

'Oh Jen, I'm sorry,' I say.

'Really?' she arches a brow at me. 'I mean he's all yours to pursue now.'

'Jen,' I huff because I don't know what to say. I mean Jen being out of the picture is a good thing but now she's my friend I'm kind of confused about how I should feel.

'Well it's true isn't it Joey? And you should go for it anyway,' she's still looking into that coke.

'What do you mean?'

'What I mean is that for just a friend he's mightily concerned about you and other boys.'

'No he's not,' I blush but she waves away my protest.

'Which brings me to last night. Apparently Dawson tore some guy off you,' Jen is teasing slightly now, though there is a touch of bitterness. 'You and this guy were down on the beach kissing.'

'Oh my god,' my hand covers my mouth on reflex. How drunk was I? Fucking hell. Dawson saw me kissing someone. Who the hell was I kissing?

'Oh it gets even better,' Jen is looking at me with her head tilted, kind of sympathetic.

'Don't you mean worse?'

'Apparently earlier in the night Pacey punched out a different guy for getting fresh with you,' Jen smiles nervously.

'I'm a whore. I've turned into a loose tongued floozy,' I moan dropping my head into my arms on the counter. 'I've become a drunk and...and...'

'Chill yourself Jo. So you made out with a couple of guys. If it wasn't for Pacey and Dawson it might have been worse. It doesn't make you a floozy. If anyone's a floozy it's me and I will not allow you to take my title from me. I wear it with pride,' Jen smiles and pats my head.

'Jen,' I look at her with a smile because she's being so silly and silly suits my mood.

* * *

'So the devil himself told me you were having a bad day and sent me to see how I could make it worse,' the voice makes me freeze.

'Pacey,' Dawson's voice admonishing Pacey freezes me further.

'Seriously D. The big guy himself has it in for that little hussy over there,' Pacey is saying. I still can't bear to turn and look at them.

'I don't think you're in any position to be calling her a hussy,' Dawson insinuates a little coldly. The word hussy gets kind of stuck on his tongue, like his mouth isn't one that should be saying such things. When Pacey says the word it just rolls off his tongue.

'But lets face facts here. We all know that when it comes to purity I'm lacking. However, young Miss Potter over there she may have a bitch of a tongue and scathing, biting sarcasm, but when she fights you over something it seems that it comes from some really beautiful pure place in her heart,' Pacey is rambling and I don't think Dawson or I know where he's going with this but I still haven't looked at them. Pacey thinks I have a beautiful, pure heart? Who knew? I get this strange butterfly feeling.

'Your point being?' Dawson asks. Thank you Dawson. There's Pacey complimenting me for the first time ever, even if it is in a half-arsed manner and you have to bring him back to the point which will undoubtedly be insulting.

'My point is, as pure as that girl is, she's a sassy little minx at heart,' Pacey says the words and I know I blush straight to the tips of my ears. That insult made me felt more flattered than any compliment of Dawson's ever has.

'Joey, turn around,' Dawson orders and I turn to look at them feigning disgust and disinterest, wishing my blush away.

Dawson and Pacey slip onto the counter seats and Dawson is giving me a very stony look whilst Pacey, beside him, is grinning broadly and even winks at me. I scowl at his audacity.

'What?' I ask with a glare.

'We're just here because of last night,' Pacey sing songs.

'Look, if you're here to gloat, then don't. Last night I was drunk. It's probably your fault that I was drunk,' I jab Pacey in the chest, 'and even if I wasn't drunk I can do what the hell I like.' I don't know why I feel so defensive but Pacey's gloating smile and Dawson's cold stare have me riled.

'So that's it?' Dawson asks. 'You were drunk?'

'And you're disappointed in me?' I ask back.

'Yeah Joey I am. You normally have better sense and better taste,' he adds the latter with a flippant look at Pacey. Why is he looking at Pacey? When have I ever liked Pacey? Does Dawson really think that Pacey is better taste? I ignore the little voice that answers these questions.

'Huh?' I stare at him blindly for a moment.

'Oh forget it Joey. I don't understand you. You declare your love for me and then the next month you're getting drunk and making out at parties - maybe you and Jen were better off as enemies,' Dawson trails off probably realizing what an ass he's making of himself.

'You did not just say that,' I glare at him. 'I told you how I felt and you pushed me away. I am a free agent, certainly not beholden to you,' I want to tell him I can behave however I want but it's just not true. 'I was drunk and I made the mistake of making out with a couple of guys. So sue me,' I stalk off.

'Yeah well at least you and Pacey agree on something,' Dawson grumbles and I whirl to face him suddenly scared.

'Whats that mean?' I ask.

'You and Pacey both agree making out with each other again was a mistake,' Dawson glares at Pacey again.

'You and I made out again?' I feel a furious blush stain my cheeks as I glare at Pacey.

'Down in the sand hunny,' Pacey shrugs easily.

'I thought I told you to never touch me again?' I stutter because I don't know quite how to feel about this revelation.

'We were bonding,' he defends.

'And we established that bonding is no reason for you to kiss me,' I yell.

'You kissed me for your information,' he yells back.

'Then I must have been damned near paralytic,' I growl.

'You know with a personality like yours it's no wonder you can't get a date,' he growls back.

'Even more amazing - a personality like yours and you can,' I feel so furious at him, my blood literally seems to be boiling and yet I just want to pull him across the counter by that stupid Hawaiian shirt of his and kiss him. Damn that chemistry.

'Ever stop to think about how much hormonally charged energy you put into the quick quips and biting banter? Your life would be considerably more productive if you took some, what's that word again, oh that's it - action,' Pacey and I are inches apart and when my eyes meet his I know he's feeling the urge to kiss me, just as much as I'm feeling the urge to kiss him.

'Guys,' Dawson pushes us a part. Clearly he didn't pick up on the chemistry. 'Look you were both drunk and we all know Pacey is, well Pacey, so how about this - Pacey you stop kissing Joey and Joey, don't kiss Pacey and if he kisses you just don't kiss him back. Things will be a lot simpler I promise.'

Dawson looks at us both and I feel three things. Firstly, Dawson is jealous. It's obvious and it makes me feel pretty happy because I've been waiting for Dawson to notice me. I could kiss Pacey for making it happen, ok wrong choice of words. Secondly, how dare Dawson tell me who I can and can't kiss? Now he's told me not to kiss Pacey I kind of want to kiss Pacey more than ever. Dawson shouldn't have the right to decide about that. Thirdly, I feel a little bit hurt that Pacey saw kissing me as a mistake. I mean I know we're chalk and cheese and it was a momentous blunder to get myself into such a situation (I can't help thinking the curse may have had some responsibility) but something has been different between us for a while. We don't like each other any better but then I don't know... It's too complicated. Still, Dawson has pissed me off. I can't disobey but I can note my disapproval.

'I can kiss Pacey if I want,' I state and Pacey's eyes widen making him look kind of adorable. Dawson's eyes narrow making him look cross and mean.

'Fine, kiss Pacey, see if I care,' Dawson raises his hands in an expression of despair and I grab at Paceys shirt, just like I fantasised and pull him to me. Our lips crash together and that all consuming sensation runs down my body and back up again, especially as Pacey gets over the initial shock and starts to kiss me in earnest. I pull him closer to me by his shirt and the cute little noise that he makes causes my stomach to flip flop until I think I might melt in a puddle on the floor. 'Stop it Joey,' Dawson interrupts and I think I might have gone from loving the whiney one to hating him. I pull away from Pacey immediately, leaving the poor boy red in the face and looking like a lost and startled puppy. God those eyes are a force to be reckoned with.

'You told me to kiss him,' I defend.

'And I care,' Dawson admits in a huffy voice. Dawson cares? My heart gives a little jump for joy. 'I care Joey. There. Are you happy now? You tell me you love me and its screwed everything up.'

'How?' I ask in a small voice.

'Because I've realized I think I love you too,' Dawson says the words and after staring at my long coveted love, for some reason I look at Pacey who is staring at us both, a very black expression on his face.

'My cue to leave,' is all he says and without looking at me he slips off the stool and is gone.

* * *

I'm so tired. I think Dawson and Pacey tired me out more than being hung-over and more than my shift at the Icehouse. Thankfully the house is empty when I get home, and it's a relief. After Pacey left, Dawson asked me on a date. A proper first date. And I said yes. But I don't feel entirely happy.

I mean I'm happy about the date but I can't get Pacey's expression out of my head as he walked off. I get that we have chemistry but that's all it is, right? I mean, he told Dawson it was a mistake. It was a mistake. He and I would be a mistake. We're enemies, together for the sake of revolving around Dawson. That's how its always been. Pacey doesn't like me. We may have fun when we hang out but were all about barbed comments and vicious banter. I know we care, but that's something underneath all the antagonism and we certainly dont care like _that_. Maybe I should call Pacey.

I pick up the phone and dial his house. He answers.

'Hey Pace, it's Joey,' I say.

'Hey Jo,' he sounds tired and kind of dejected. Not like I expect Pacey to sound.

'Are you ok?'

'Like you care,' he bites back.

'Look I do care.'

'Sure,' he really sounds down.

'Did something happen?' I ask thinking maybe his dad had a go at him.

'You know, you're kind of clueless sometimes Joey. You and Dawson should be real happy together,' he sounds like he's about to hang up.

'Wait Pacey,' I say quickly.

'What?'

'Dawson asked me on a date,' I say brightly.

'Good for you.'

'And I'm sorry for kissing you,' I blush at the thought. Thank God he can't see.

'Well it got you what you wanted,' the tone of his voice remains flat.

'But that's not why I did it,' I say without thinking.

'Then why did you do it?' he asks, his tone lifting a little. How can I answer that?

'I suppose Dawson goaded me into it.'

'Joey. You're a free agent. You should only ever do what you want. I kissed you because I wanted to and if you ever kiss me again, which is unlikely, please don't just do it because someone told you to. You have free will Joey,' and with that there was a click as he hung up. I promptly burst into tears without even realising that it's about to happen. Pacey doesn't have a clue. Free will? I don't even know what that is. Tears streaming down my face I pull out a box from under the couch and unlock it using the key on my keyring. I pull out the letter and begin to read it;

 _Dear Joey,_

 _Every time you read this, know that your mother loves you._

 _I am very sorry about not being there to explain this in person but it does need to be explained. Bessie is the only other individual to know about this._

 _You have a curse to bear and I am sorry for it. It is my fault. The curse of obedience can work in your favour and against it. I feel overwhelmingly that you, my girl, should be an agent of free will. I have tried to get rid of it using spell books and returning to where it occurred but so far nothing has worked. I have ordered you to be obedient only to yourself but that doesn't break the curse. It seems you simply obey the last command or request made of you, though no one gave me a rule book._

 _We went to the Capeside Art festival. I had a display of my work. You were in a particularly difficult mood. Mary Witter asked me to look after Pacey Witter and the two of you were fighting constantly. I was pretty tired and I was trying to be professional. A woman came and she bought a picture from me. One of my more abstract pieces. She was tall with red hair. Very red hair and the clearest skin. She told me she was a fortune teller and a witch. You can imagine I was sceptical but she had bought my favourite piece and I promised to visit her tent when she requested._

 _Whilst she was browsing and buying you and Pacey were acting up. You were bulling that poor boy and you wouldn't listen to me. You were only five years old and you were being a five year old. But this woman, she watched you closely. You were calling Pacey a looser because he kept pulling your hair and trying to look under your skirt, which I will agree must have been annoying. He would tell you to shut-up and you wouldn't. I'd tell you off for the bad language and then we'd go round in another circle. You kept interrupting and wouldn't listen. It was a bad day. Every parent and every child has them._

 _We went to the tent and I asked you and Pacey to be quiet in the corner. Now Pacey, for once, sat there as good as gold. That boy was as naughty as you but he did what I said. I imagine his mother found him as much of a handful as I found you. So Pacey was sat there and Rosina, as she was called, was looking silently into my future. All the while you kept asking questions. I asked you to be quiet for a moment but you wouldn't. You stood up and I asked you to sit down, but you wouldn't. You began to tease Pacey about his hand me down sneakers and I got pretty cross and told you to leave him alone. But you didn't, you moved on to his "geeky" haircut. You'd somehow managed to sneak a glass of cola earlier in the day and I blame that for your bad behaviour. You were normally a good girl - naughty but nice. Sweet as anything but a right little munchkin._

 _The whole time this was going on, Rosina was looking at Tarot cards and at the palm of my hand, as I sceptically sat there. After about five minutes you just started chattering loudly and Pacey, he took your hand and said, 'Joey, your mommy is having quiet time.' Well now Mary Witter used to have a lot of quiet time and I don't imagine Pacey interrupting it ever went down very well. So Pacey pulled you back onto the ground and you glared at him and said something about you being able to do as you please and at that moment Rosina she just looked at you. Her head snapped round and she looked at you, and you looked at her at exactly the same moment. For about two minutes you stared at each other. Then Rosina looked back at me, and you said,_

 _'Mommy'_

 _'Give Mommy a minute,' I told you and you sat back beside Pacey suddenly as patient as anything. I didn't understand then what had happened. Rosina she then looked at me and said,_

 _'Madame you have hard times to come and your time on earth will not be as long as you wish. However, you will have an obedient daughter to help you through,' and then she was finished._

 _We left the festival and I am ashamed to say that it took me a good long time to figure out that you weren't just a good girl but a cursed girl._

 _It was the moment I told you to kiss and make up with Pacey that I knew something was amiss. You would kiss Dawson on the cheek but Pacey!? Never before would you do it. But this time you kissed him smack on the lips and said sorry. When the boy had gone home I experimented. I told you to hold your tongue, to hop, to do things and not do things, just in the general course of the conversation. You were always obedient._

 _I don't know how to break the curse. Rosina wasn't at the next festival and the festival organisers had no record of her booking. Her tent was blue and the sign said Your future is magic. That's all I can tell you my sweet girl. That and the fact that I'm sorry. I wish you free will. Obedience is a curse when one must always be obedient._

 _I love you lots and I love you always,_

 _Mom xxxxx_

As I finish reading the letter for the millionth time I cry as always and then the damn phone goes. I have to answer as its probably Bessie asking me to fetch Alexander from the sitters.

'Hello,'I sniff.

'Are you ok?' always Pacey. It's always fucking Pacey when I'm upset. I must send a radar out that only dogs and Pacey can hear.

'Things are just a bit tough, lots of homework and work and Alexander and stuff...' I sniffle.

'I just called to say sorry. I was a little harsh. You and Dawson are gonna do great and I hope the first date goes well. How about I pick you up for school tomorrow and give you a break?' he sounds so Pacey like I want to hug him.

'Thanks,' I sniff.

'See you tomorrow Jo.'

'Yeah, tomorrow Pace.'


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey,**

 **Thanks for reviewing. Please keep reviewing - I'm a little blue and reviews make me smile - they really do.**

 **This is Friday's chapter but I'm travelling Friday so you get it today:-)**

 **Tab:-)**

 **p.s. The DC timeline is shifted slightly. Joey goes and strips off for Dawson before he heads to Philadelphia and not after...**

 **Chapter 6**

 _Ten Months Later_

It's official. I think I am becoming a total mental whore. I mean I'm not sleeping with anyone. It is true that my virginity remains in tact. In fact it's true that I'm not even making out with anyone at the moment, not since Dawson, not since Jack, but god these thoughts in my head? They are seriously whore like.

HeyJen and Bessie both tell me not to worry that things didn't work out with Dawson, my ill-fated, star-crossed soul mate (his words, I think) and not to concentrate on the fact that my last boyfriend, the one I actually cheated on Dawson with, turns out to be gay. Easy for them to say. I mean Jack is a brilliant edition to our group of friends, and hey, I'm all for him being him. I just wish I wasn't the girlfriend he realized it with. It makes me feel kind of un-sexual. To other people.

And kind of un-sexual is how Dawson made me feel too. I mean making-out with him was great. It was a great, chaste cacophony of little touches, tender pecks and moments to be remembered. But it wasn't exactly hot. It wasn't even luke-warm. I mean sure I got carried away but we didn't shimmer, we barely connected. How can Dawson and I be so close in the head and yet when it comes to the body, nada?

Not that the lack of passion is what drove me to Jack exactly, I don't know. I don't even understand myself anymore. It was as if Dawson and I didn't have any chemistry. And of course every time that damn thought slipped into my head (which was every time we made out) Pacey slipped into my damn head because between Pacey and I it was so scorching we practically burned. I can't seem to escape thoughts that revolve around Pacey and I in various compromising situations because I crave to feel the way he made me feel. _Alive_. And that's why I feel like a whore, because I really shouldn't be thinking of him in the way that I am, nor picture him doing the things I'm picturing him doing.

But Pacey is with Andie now, stupid, silly Andie. Not that I would be with him of course, I just can't revisit that place he took me when he kissed me and discover if it was just a hormonal flux or whether he really is the only one who can thaw the Ice queen. Pacey is different now a days anyway. Pacey and I are still as we always have been. We fight, banter, quip, but I don't think he'd get into a kissing situation with me even if Andie weren't on the scene. He occasionally gives me a look, a non-teasing, serious look,that makes my body thrum but everything is different these days. He's grown up, admitted he struggles at school, tried hard to remedy it. He's still the same lovable, roguish Pacey, I mean what could change a heart like his? But he's dealt with a lot, including Andie spending time in an institution. Including Andie still being in that institution.

As I pull myself from my living room sofabed, I see dad flipping pancakes and I smile at him, that special father-daughter smile. He smiles back. I have a family again. _I have a family again_. And it feels so nice to have a family again. Bessie comes into the kitchen and she and dad start discussing this wedding they're catering. Where did the elation of five seconds ago just disappear to, huh? Could there be a worse idea?

* * *

I am so confused. I mean everything is perfect and when has my life ever been perfect? So the curse interferes with little things but hey that's ok. So what if I sit-down, stand-up, shut-up when told? Does it really matter that when Jen tells me to get drunk with her I do? And is it that big a deal that Jack tells me to be honest and so he knows about my whorish thoughts about his sisters boyfriend, aka my arch nemesis? Does it even matter that Pacey tells me to do whatever he damn well pleases and that I always do it, such as eating the mysterious green gloup at school one day, or announcing to the student body that I don't give a fuck what they think of me, or telling James Brody where to stick it and kneeing him in the groin, all while he goes on about fucking Andie. I didn't mean that. And anyway, why should I care who Pacey is going on about when Dawson and I got back together at the wedding. The _successful_ Potter run wedding. My dad is reintroduced to society, the Ice House is upgrading and expanding. And the soul mate boy of mine is literally mine and this time it will work, because this time it will be perfect.

 _Perfect_.

* * *

I know I can't sit on the end of this dock forever but I can try. Bessie won't come and get me. I know she doesn't blame me but she's as upset at our family falling apart as I am. I can still smell the smoke in my hair, on my skin, even though I've showered several times. It clings to me just like the memories.

I've never been held so close as I was during the fire that destroyed our livelihoods and our lives, held so tight whilst the world literally tumbled down around me.

 _'Dad,' I was screaming for him and Dawson was beside me. 'Dad,' I tried to run to him but strong arms slipped around me and began to tug me away and I was so mad at those arms. So mad at Pacey who was trying to protect me. I wanted to save my father, and so Dawson concentrated on that, whilst Pacey concentrated on me and got me out of there. He held and consoled me, just through holding my hand. How can holding a boys hand be so comforting? How can his hand be a lifeline?_

Then my father came out of the burning building, our livelihood disintegrating before our eyes and I hugged him and he held me so tight, and I felt so safe. And then Bessie and Alexander turned up, and Bessie, she hugged me like a mom and a sister and our family was together. We'd be alright I thought, because at least we had each other.

Then Dawson. He always has to ruin things for me, or that's how it feels. Ok, so maybe that's not fair. But obeying Dawson's command to wear that wire, to get my dad rearrested, well that was by far the worst thing the curse has ever made me do. And I told Dawson how much he'd ruined things and how I never want to speak to him again. Making me trap my own father. Making me wear a wire. The thing that really gets me, is that even without the curse, Dawson had trapped me into it. I've done a lot of things I wouldn't because of this curse. And I've not done a lot of things I wanted to because of it as well. My free will has been compromised continuously by the curse. Dawson making me do what he did is the first time my free would have been compromised with or without the curse. He had voluntarily removed my free will. I hate him.

* * *

What was I thinking? I cannot believe I ever thought it was a good idea to strip off for Dawson. Especially with my family's burned business still smouldering. What was I trying to prove? Did I want to make him squirm, to want me and then deny him? Of course with me stood there in my bra and skirt, he didn't want me. No, he didn't want me at all. And why would he. My boobs are nothing to write home about, and my bra is nothing but boring cotton. The stupid thing is it's not like Dawson even does it for me. I don't even like him as a friend right now. I don't want him looking or touching me. I guess I just wanted validation of some kind that I am desirable. That he still wants me and loves me, because I feel pretty lonely right now. And so I hate myself. I didn't think it would be possible to hate anyone more than Dawson, but I do. I hate myself. I hated Dawson and myself for what happened with my father, and I haven't forgiven either of us. However, this hate is different. I feel humiliated, belittled, and un-sexual because despite everything he's ever said, he doesn't actually want me.

Maybe I panicked. As angry and upset as I was with him, as much as I hated him, for some reason I wanted to know that he still wanted me. But he doesn't want me. And why would he? How dumb am I? My dad once said Dawson Leery loves me but he was wrong. Dawson Leery loves the idea of me, an image, and not stripped down to my bra in front of him. His love is anything but unconditional. I sniff a little as I watch a boat cutting through the water, a familiar person rowing.

Why does it have to be Pacey of all people who finds me like this? On the end of my dock feeling like I do? Feeling this bad? He makes silly comments as he clambers from his boat and then he sits beside me. We talk and then he puts his arm around me and I like the feel of it there even though I'm pretending I don't. It's comforting to be held this way when I'm feeling this bad, this rejected.

'It's a new year Potter. Who knows? You and I might even become friends,' he tells me, which nearly makes me laugh.

'Pacey, I'm upset enough as it is,' I tell him but his arm tightens around me and for some reason my tears fall harder and I am infinitely glad that I have a friend such as him. I feel his lips press against my head and I lean in closer to him. He smells so good. I sniff as if to suck in my runny nose, but really it's just because he smells so very Pacey like.

'Can I tell you something?' he asks softly.

'Sure,' I say my face pressed to his chest as the tears roll down my cheeks, slowly drying.

'Andie wrote me a letter. She met someone else,' he says the words calmly but I know Pacey and he's crumpling inside.

'Oh Pacey,' I push away from him and look into his glassy eyes. My arms snake around him and I pull him close. He lets me. For several moments we just hold each other. I guess we both know something about rejection and how much it hurts. This summer is going to suck.

* * *

I open the door and Jen, Jack and Pacey are stood on the doorstep.

'What are you doing here?' I grumble.

'Get showered and get dressed Joey,' Jen says and I grin a little at the surprise on their faces as I turn and head straight for the bathroom.

'I guess she's ready to see us,' I hear Jack muse. I've been kind of hibernating since all the shit with dad went down, and since the exams finished. I mean there's no work to go to with the Ice House in ruins. Pacey has been calling over now and then. We sit on the dock and talk, but I'm not very talkative and neither is he. We've both been pretty low, though he seems to be brightening up, clearly comforted by our friendship more than he'd probably admit. Maybe I am too, more than I want to admit. The thing is we're both hurt, because it hurts to be rejected and it hurts even more when you truly believe that it's because you're not good enough for someone.

When I emerge with my clothes on my eyes meet Pacey's and I find myself blushing for absolutely no reason. He smiles at me, seemingly in a good mood. Maybe he's getting over Andie and what she did to him. I find myself smiling back.

'Ok Jo, sit in this chair,' Jen steps forward and gestures to a chair at the table.

'Well she conceded to phase one far better than we thought,' Jen is tapping her chin and looking at me thoughtfully. All three of them are looking at me like I'm some science specimen.

'Now Joey this might be a hard concept for you, but today we are going out to have fun - you understand that word?' Pacey looks at me and speaks slowly as if I were a child. _Bastard_.

'I know what fun is,' I growl, throwing in a roll of my eyes to emphasize my point.

'Now Joey. Fun involves smiling, so smile sweetly and our day of adventure will begin,' Pacey wags a finger at me, but I must smile so sweetly because he covers his eyes as if it hurts to look at me, 'Just be your normal self,' he ventures as if my sickly sweet smile burned him. Jen and Jack laugh.

'Ok Jo, butt off the chair, into the car and away we go,' Jen says and we're off.

'We have a car?' I ask.

'I commandeered the Witter Wagoneer,' Pacey says with a grin.

'You mean stole,' I say helpfully.

'You don't steal from family, you borrow,' he tells me as he's told me before.

'So you always say,' I mutter about to get in the back of the car with Jen.

'No Jo, you sit up front with me,' Pacey orders and I do as he says.

'Where are we going?' I ask but they all share a conspiratorial glance.

'It's a surprise,' Jack grins.

'I hate surprises,' I deadpan.

'Which is why giving them to you is such a pleasure,' Pacey mutters sarcastically pulling out of the drive.

'Why did you make me sit up front if you're just going to rag on me?' I ask.

'Because it's pure entertainment Josephine,' he grins wickedly and his wicked smile actually makes me smile as I flick the station to alternative. He switches it to rock. I switch it back to alternative and we squabble and banter and it is fun. I laugh and roll my eyes. I am sarcastic, bitter, and happy all at the same time, as we drive to this mystery location.

* * *

'Wow,' is all I can say as I look at the magical place they brought me. 'Why is no one else here?'

'Is that all you can say?' Jack gives me a look.

'It's a secret place Joey,' Pacey patronizes, 'hence only a few people know about it. Hence no ones here.'

'What I meant, is how come no one knows about it?' I turn a frosty look to him.

'Who knows,' he shrugs amiably.

'And who's complaining?' Jen adds as she pulls a few blankets from the back of the car.

I stare in wonder at the secluded pool. We drove up a dirt road to get here, it was pretty sketchy in places but it was so worth it. A gentle incline has created natures perfect swimming pool, though on one side there's a big rise which looks like a perfect spot to jump from if there weren't so many rocks in the way at the bottom. The grey of boulders and rocks, mix with the multitude of greens from the trees and grasses. There's a sandy area in front of us and a gentle waterfall makes it tranquil and beautiful. Grey cliffs and rocks have created this perfect pool, with a waterfall gently trickling into It is in a word idyllic. Someone, Pacey I assume, has fixed a swing to a tree so we can swing into the water.

'That up there is the diving point of death,' he speaks into my ear, leaning into me from behind. A sharp intake of air nearly betrays me and how my body warms at his presence, how the hairs on my neck tickle, and I am acutely aware of him. This is bad. I feign interest in this jumping point with its ominous looking rocks. The swing looks like a much safer option - no rocks nearby.

'Here, change into this,' Jen hands me my bikini.

'How did you get that?' I ask as I automatically start changing. Pacey, and even Jack, are looking at me with amused grins as my clothes fall to the floor. Damn the curse.

'I meant go change somewhere hidden,' Jen stares at me like I'm weird which of course I am. I instantly head for a group of bushes, whilst Pacey mumbles his disappointment at my sudden bashfulness. 'Pacey got it from your drawer while you were in the shower,' Jen adds.

'You went into my underwear drawer?' I blush furiously and poke my head above the bushes. That boy I swear one day I'll... I'll... He's just whistling away with that smug little smile on his face. He looks at me, the picture of innocence. 'Oh don't you give me that look. I can't believe you let him go in my underwear drawer Jen,' I huff as my bikini is finally on and I can step from behind the bushes. Pacey looks me over from head to toe and my whole body warms. His eyes linger on my chest, my waist, my whole body and he licks his lips as if I'm something delicious to eat - that is not how Dawson looked at me, and it feels like a long time since I've seen that heat in Pacey's eyes for anyone. I don't call him on the look because I like it, but do my best haughty expression. He coughs,

'Now why are you worrying so frantically Josephine? Let me be honest. Your underwear drawer, well it's not a teenage boys fantasy. Quite frankly it lacked charm. Something about those plain pink and white panties is a little bland?' he looks at me as if waiting for confirmation but my blood is boiling because he's right, my underwear is boring. But boring underwear has never been an issue because nobody sees it, until now, and now I feel totally humiliated because he's seen it and called me on it. 'It's definitely an area to work on should you ever get another boyfriend. Oh I forgot even if you did get a boyfriend, they wouldn't see your underwear,' Pacey talks on with a cocky smirk on his face, all the while pulling off his shirt and kicking off his sandals.

'I loathe you,' I seethe at him feeling tears burn at my eyes. Damn him to hell. 'Go make the jump from the diving rock of death. And when you die, burn in hell,' I put my hands on my hips only vaguely aware of Jen and Jack looking from Pacey to me and back and forth in utter amusement.

'No, you make the jump so Satan can welcome his bride back home,' Pacey states and turns away from me and misses me as I stalk off up the cliff and for the diving point of death. Why does our banter have to include so many demands? I look back as my feet carry me uncontrolled to the top and Pacey still has his back to me. Jen and Jack are just gawping and Pacey is clearly still on a rant because he's ignoring their wordless pointing, and then just as I reach the point, Pacey turns, his face frozen in what looks like sheer terror.

'Don't hurt yourself woman,' he yells and I hear him amidst the yells of my name coming from Jack and Jen. In an instant I'm off the edge of the cliff but I'm no longer worried. My aim will be perfect because Pacey told me not to hurt myself and I always do as I'm told. I scream on the way down, but it feels amazing to fly through the air like that and then the cold water stings my skin as I whip through it missing every rock. I surface and I can't stop grinning like an idiot. Now I could definitely spend the summer like this.

'Joey are you crazy?' Pacey is in the water beside me in an instant. He must have swum out to check I was ok. God I feel like kissing him I'm so high on adrenalin. Though kissing isn't something we do anymore, it's something my brain has repeated many times over the last few months. It was amazing falling through the air like that and then being swallowed by the water. His face relaxes as he sees my broad smile and suddenly he's grinning like an idiot and we're hugging. I don't know how it happens. I'm so high on adrenalin and I guess he's happy I'm not dead. 'You're a menace Potter,' he says affectionately, chuckling and then he looks into my eyes, his arms still wrapped around me.

Snap, crackle and pop, I mean that quite literally. Suddenly I know were both aware of the feel of our naked limbs brushing against each other. I can feel his legs entwined with mine and I don't know whether it's happening because we're treading water or because it feels so damn good. I know we want to kiss. I can feel this tugging electric pull between us. I don't know whether it's his eyes that are looking deep into mine, dark with desire, or something else, something intangible that occupies the air between us and ignites wherever our skin touches, but whatever it is it's all consuming. His fingers are rubbing intoxicating circles on my back and I'm fighting the urge to press myself against him, to feel the long, lean length of his body pressed against mine. As we stare at each other we both know the tension is extreme and unbearable, I can see his eyes fixed on mine before dropping to my lips and his tongue wets his own. Holy crap. His arms slip around my shoulders, and one hand is in my hair. We want each other, but we don't understand it, or I don't anyway. It doesn't make sense. Pacey breathes deeply, really deeply and breaks eye contact. Then he dunks me.

Have I mentioned before that he's a bastard?


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you so much guys for the amazing feedback! Please keep it up - it'll make me find time to post in the craziness of my four days away from home. And it makes me smile. Widely!**

 **Enjoy, Tabx**

 **C** **hapter 7**

We're sat in deckchairs. Pacey, Jen Jack and I. Jen found the deckchairs in Grams shed and we've been bringing them up to our secret place. The last two weeks have been great. I got a part time job at the marina, working for a pervert of a boss, but a job is a job and I'm the main earner in the Potter household this summer. What's nice is that I start at six in the morning (the thought of that is not nice) but this means that when the others are finally up at eleven, I'm free to head to our secret place for some fun. I know I could do with more hours, the money would be useful but with Pacey only working a few hours a week and Jen and Jack not working at all, I kind of prefer it when we all hang out at the pool.

The sun is beating down on us. No one has repeated my jump of death and for the last two weeks Pacey has been mentioning it at some point whenever were hanging out.

'Still can't believe you didn't hit a rock Potter,' he muses.

'That would have made your day, huh?, I ask lazily, because the sun is making me sleepy.

'Always so dramatic,' he chuckles.

'Do you guys have to go through this every time we're here?' Jack sighs, but he doesn't really mind, because what always follows is Jens demand of Pacey.

'Tell us another Joey story Pacey,' Jen requests slapping Jack with her hand lightly as if to reprimand him for his complaint. Pacey rubs his hands together. I can see because I crank open an eye to look at him, as ever suspicious when Jen makes her request. There are a number of stories and most of them I'd rather stay locked in the past.

'Get us some drinks Jo,' he says with a nonchalant glance in my direction and rather abruptly I'm out of my deckchair and heading for the car where we have the cool box kept.

'Why do I always have to get the drinks?' I grumble.

'Because you always get them,' he explains. I ask Jen and she says...'

'Get them yourself you lazy ass and while you're at it, get me one,' Jen supplies with a smirk.

'But you, you just jump to it,' Pacey clearly loves the fact that I jump to.

'It is true Jo. You should just ignore his demands,' Jen says, but too late because I've already got the drinks and am flopping back into my deckchair. 'Come on Pace,' Jen prompts looking like the blond siren she is as she lazes.

'Do we have to do this?' I ask as always.

'Yes,' Jack and Jen chorus.

'So we're ten years old,' Pacey begins and I cringe because I know where this is going. 'We're in the barn at Aunt Gwen's - you know, Dawson's Aunt Gwen. We always went there for Spring break. Anyway, we're catching horse flies and pulling off their wings...'

'That's like totally cruel,' Jen interrupts with a frown.

'And horse flies are like, _totally_ gross,' Jack does a silly Sweet Valley High voice that mimics Jen, and I laugh reluctantly, earning me a frosty glare from my blond female comrade.

'Anyway,' Jen rolls her eyes and Pacey takes up the story again,

'So there we are with these flies and I start telling Joey and Dawson all about the flies in South Africa that you can eat.'

'I still can't believe you knew something like that,' I quip rather lamely.

'Give me a remote and a road map, and I'm pretty sure I can locate the Nature channel,' Pacey scowls at me, then grins at Jen and Jack, 'so Joey over there makes some inane comment, not dissimilar to the one she just shared.'

'God I hate you,' I push my hat over my eyes.

'And well, I can't remember how we got there, but I think I dare her to eat this fly...and just like that she does it! I mean, I have never been so impressed with a girl before in my life. At that moment I knew that Joey totally rocked. Dawson of course thought it was disgusting and berated her,' Pacey chuckles and Jack and Jen are turning up their noses and looking at me like I'm a disgrace to human kind. That fly tasted disgusting. 'I mean she didn't even hesitate. One minute there was a fly and then vroom it was gone. And when I told her to eat another one, she glared at me, that icy glance of hers that tells you she'd like hell to freeze over and trap you there _but then_ she eats another one!'

Now Jen and Jack are staring at me like I'm really disgusting. But Pacey he's kind of looking at me with respect and well, it looks like total admiration, though I'm no expert on looks.

'They eat flies in South Africa,' I remind them all stonily.

'Not horse flies,' Jen looks at me over the tops of her sunglasses.

'Why do you always have to do this?' I turn to Pacey now, miffed at his constant attempts to embarrass me.

'Do what?' he asks innocently.

'Make me seem like a weirdo.'

'That requires no effort on my behalf hunny,' he smirks. God that boy is so frustrating.

'You know I have a Pacey story or two myself but for some stupid reason I care about your feelings. I can't think why,' I narrow my eyes at him and cross my arms feeling suddenly defensive. Without waiting for him to say anything I jump out of my chair and catching hold of the swing, swing myself into the cool water, loving the way the cold caresses my hot skin and calms my embarrassment and rage. I swim underwater heading for the most secluded part of the pool.

As I surface I take a few deep breaths. I don't know why I get so worked up. I don't think I really mind the stories, not the way Pacey tells them, because he always seems so impressed, I guess I just want to be the same as everyone.

That's when Pacey surprises me, surfacing in the water beside me, his hair all messy and wet. He slides an arm around me, our wet skin sliding against each other like silk. Then he goes and turns those big blue eyes of his on me, looking totally serious.

'Hey Jo, I'm sorry,' he's so sincere it makes me embarrassed. I push away from him in the water.

'It's ok. I over reacted,' I brush it off. I know he didn't really mean any harm. 'I just hate looking like a weirdo all the time. I try so hard to fit in,' I admit not so surprised to find myself opening up to Pacey - he and I have spent a lot of time together lately.

'Do you really want to fit in Jo?' Pacey seems surprised.

'Um yeah,' I answer quickly without thinking. 'I hate it when people look at me and point me out because I'm that weird girl, the Potter girl whose father did this and whose mother died, the one that behaves so outrageously!'

'So why do all that stuff if you don't want to be seen as weird?' he asks carefully.

'I don't know!' I raise my hands in frustration, because I can't tell him why. 'I guess I rise to the challenge.'

'Exactly,' he lands on my words with a triumphant nod of his head. 'You're not scared of anything Joey and that's something I have always, _always_ admired about you. You're the bravest girl I know, and the sassiest, and maybe you do some weird things, but god Jo, those things just add to the mystery that is Joey Potter. Whoever let you believe that weird is a bad thing?' those eyes are beseeching me, pleading with me.

'I suppose Dawson always had the perfect life and he's not weird. I always thought maybe if I fit in more, I don't know, life would be easier?' I shrug.

'Nobody fits in one hundred percent of the time Joey. No one. And if they do, who are they fitting in with? Who dictates the norms? Who decides who's popular and who's not? The popular crowd at school are just self-appointed popular people, where as you... _you_ have real personality.'

'That's what a guy says when he thinks you're ugly,' I give him a sulky look, not because I think he thinks I'm ugly, I actually don't because of how he looks at me, but because what he's saying is so nice and I don't know how to handle it.

'Joey, listen to me a sec. You are without doubt the weirdest girl I have ever known, but you are also the most intense, amazing, hard to forget and interesting girl I have ever known. Weird and interesting, and unusual, and hard to define, and mysterious.'

'Pacey,' I say his name because I'm unsure how to take these compliments. He's staring at me, and we're kinda brushing up against each other as we tread water, which means he touchs me as he gesiticulates.

'Out of every girl I have ever known there is no one who can even compete, despite that ferocious and sometimes sadistic streak of yours. Despite the fact that you sometimes make me feel like ripping my hair out because you are honestly the most frustrating girl alive and...and...' something is happening to Pacey.

As he's speaking he's getting all hett-up and frustrated, his voice is rising and he's practically combusting. I don't think it's because of my ferocious and sadistic streak though. It has been happening since he started trying to explain why I'm the weirdest girl but thats ok. It's really strange but Pacey makes the word weird feel like a compliment. Even though he's combusting, I know I've got this stupid smile crawling all over my face. ' _Joey_ ,' he complains at my amusement.

'You think I'm _really_ ugly,' I tease, indicating that his praise is only to make up for the fact that he thinks I'm butt ugly.

'Dammit Joey. You're unbelievable,' his voice squeaks in that funny Pacey way when he's talking in a hyper emotive state.

'It's just guys go on and on about what a great personality a girl has when they think she's a total dogface or they're not interested. It softens the blow. Not that I'd want you to be interested of course, I'm just saying,' I flush but I manage to maintain my coolness and indifference which I know is just making Pacey more and more irate.

'Jesus woman you're... you're impossible! You're friggin impossible. I give up. The girl's a freakin' goddess and she acts like I'm a bastard because I'm doing the decent guy thing and focusing on her personality!' he raises his hands in despair and I'm not quite sure who he's talking to anymore. Maybe the powers that be? Himself?

'Who are you talking to Pace?' I ask a little uncertainly.

'Why do I bother?' he mumbles and dives under the water.

I stare at where he disappeared, waiting for him to surface but I can't tell where he's gone. Did Pacey just say I was a freakin' goddess? I can't stop yet another big smile creeping over my face.

'Fuck,' I scream as I'm dragged under water. That bastard. We're tangled together in a battle, surfacing intermittently as we brawl for something I don't even know what? With Pacey and I we just battle for dominance or something. I don't know why but we both seem to feel that if we win in water wrestling, we beat the other in some larger life war. But what war? And how do you win when you water wrestle?

Well that's easy. I know my evil smirk isn't seen by him as I reach behind him and try to tug at his shorts. He yelps in surprise then grips at my wrists, tightly but not painfully.

'Now, now Josephine. If you wanted to get me naked you only had to ask,' he teases, his voice low and very, very dangerous.

'As if I'd want to see that. The sight would permanently injure my eyes and turn me off sex for life,' I growl back as I struggle to get away from him. His grip on my wrists, the response to my playful attack has made me burn all over, and these images of Pacey naked keep flitting through my head. Unfortunately they're not unpleasant, not at all.

'I forgot that only the golden boy can thaw the Ice queen,' he tells me cruelly, but pulls me so close that every inch of his body is pressed against mine. My breathing alters perceptibly as I struggle to think of a response to his cruel remark. As I struggle to think at all. God his body feels good. I'm totally buggered by this point, my head swimming away from quick retorts and into messy Pacey naked territory. Fuck. My eyes must pop out because I can feel how aroused he is as he shifts his position. He's big, he's hard and it's pressed against me and I don't know what to do. Fight or flight or simply melt into a puddle? I feel my body sinking into his, as if were melting together. Melting it is..

Every time we're near each other this chemical reaction seems to happen and we end up fused, staring at each other. His breath is warm on my face. God his lips are close and I really want to lean up so mine touch his. I want to kiss him more than I've ever wanted anything. I want his hands to let go of my wrists and wrap around me. I want that throbbing desire between my legs to be met by the hardness he's pressing against me.

'No witty come back,' he breathes in my ear and the sensation of his breath, along with his deep, husky voice makes my toes curl as a pleasant sensation sweeps over me. His eyes are looking into mine again and it seems like there's a million emotions in them. A small moan escapes my mouth and I'm utterly powerless to stop it. It creeps from somewhere deep inside me, and escapes from the back of my throat. This feeling inside me is just so strong and that moan is just the tip of the iceberg. I don't understand the feeling, but it makes me want to break free of Pacey's grasp just so I can pull him to me and touch every bit of that beautiful body of his.

It's desire. That feeling. I suddenly know what it is because I can see it looking back at me from Pacey's eyes.

'Here we are again,' his hands release my wrists and as he breathes deeply I wonder whether he's going to dunk me again. That would be so humiliating and so, fighting my own desire, I raise my hands and push him under the water only just catching the surprise and disappointment on his face before he's submerged.

Then I'm being dragged under the water. One of Pacey's hands grabs my ass and the other turns my body, running up and down my side. It feels so good to have his hands on me I stop fighting as we roll in the water. My eyes are closed as we twist and turn and I feel the softest sensation flit across the skin of my neck and I know it's Pacey's kiss because both of his hands have moved so he's cradling me close against him, softly and gently.

Cradled in Pacey's arms, the water around us, my eyes closed, I moan again as his lips seem to take pleasure in covering every patch of skin on my neck.

'God Joey,' he groans and pulls me closer, the gentleness gone as he seeks my lips with this blindingly intense kiss that makes the world swirl and makes me forget where we are. I think we both forget where we are because this kiss literally consumes us. The kiss reaches every part of my body and sets it on fire. I'm on fire as Pacey holds me so close, his hand in my hair, his lips demanding and his tongue doing things that make me want to cry because I crave him so badly.

I realize were under water when I can no longer breathe. We break the kiss and rise to the surface gasping for breath. Pacey is staring at me and I'm staring at him. We both know what we want and we both know that its very complicated and very confusing.

'Say something,' Pacey says gruffly, clearly fighting the urge to grab me again.

'Something,' I say softly and nothing more because I think I've lost the power to speak.

'We should head back to the others,' Pacey says eventually but he moves nearer to me as if I'm a magnet.

'Yeah,' I agree. 'We should,' but I move nearer to him. He _is_ a magnet. The feeling he creates in me is addictive. I want to be touching him. I want to be kissing him. I want him to touch me. I want him to kiss me. I don't care about anything. I want him.

'Lets head back then,' he nods but then his lips land on mine and his intense desire feeds my intense desire through our kiss. We're going nowhere and that's a very good thing.


	8. Chapter 8

**You guys are amazing. This crazy weekend is being made so much better by your awesome reviews and PM's. Thank you so much for the support and for reviewing. And as usual, please keep it up. It makes me so happy!**

 **Tab x**

 **p.s. At the end this is a little mature. Should I change the rating? If you don't want to read it, when Pacey says "tell me what you want?" read no further!**

 **Chapter 8**

I won't look at Pacey. Even though I know he's staring at me, I _will not_ look at him. I don't know how I know he's looking, but I can just tell. I can sense that his eyes are locked on me, all heated and passionate like they seem to be whenever he looks at me these days.

I feel the heat rising to my cheeks and I know they must be burning red. Just knowing he is looking at me is making my body quite literally feel like it's burning all over and the pulsing desire I feel is distracting me from the idle conversation of Jen and Jack.

Jack was the one that interrupted us. With a whoop he swung out across the pool and landed in with a splash. An almighty splash, that seemed to snap Pacey and I out of our daze as we floated in the water kissing. Pacey had been holding me, one hand in my hair keeping me near, as if he might be able to crawl inside me if we kissed long enough. I don't mean in the sex way, well obviously the sex way as well, but it was something far more surreal and intense that that. He was kissing me and holding me, like a mad man possessed and yet he was caring too. Persistent and yet not forceful, and yet forceful but not pressurising. The kiss was too much to explain because it seemed to contain everything. Pacey seemed to put the whole of himself into that kiss and that's why it felt like he was trying to crawl inside of me. Pacey was giving me everything and that's why I can't look at him. I am terrified. I look to Jen, the opposite direction to Pacey and focus on her.

'Why is it pink elephants drink at our waterhole?'Jen is musing.

'What? Huh?' Pacey looks confused. To be honest I'm confused. Pink elephants? I think maybe Jen has gone mad.

'Are you crazy?' I ask scrunching up my nose and both Jack and Jen laugh. I have a feeling they've been watching Pacey watch me and my reaction to it for quite some time.

'Jack and I have been having quite the debate about pink elephants and giant marshmallows, after all attempts to converse with the two of you failed. What happened? Did you stay underwater to long? You're both on another planet,' Jen is the picture of innocence but her mouth curls just enough so that she's smirking.

'Bite me,' I growl and Pacey chuckles.

'I think that's someone else's job Jo,' Jen says smoothly. Evil girl. Note to self: remember blonds screw you over.

'Remind me why were friends?' I give her a scathing glare.

'Because that noxious personality of yours keeps all other females at bay, but unfortunately something about it just appeals to me. Besides which, you need a girl friend,' Jen isn't fazed at all and that's why I like her so much. _Damn her._

'My personality isn't noxious, it's unique,' I say shooting her a lob sided smile.

'You can say that again,' all three chorus and I slump in defeat. I am weird. I am unique. At least these three think that it's a good thing, even if they don't know why I am the way I am. Who cares about the rest of the world?

'I don't want this summer to ever end,' Jack sighs.

'You may feel differently if the summer continues to be just the four of us here,' I tell him.

'We are a little incestuous, huh?' Jen raises her sunglasses and gives me a very distinct and poignant wink.

'Can't you get a boyfriend Jack?' I ask.

'Only gay man in Capeside? I don't think so.' Jack mutters sardonically. 'You get a boyfriend.'

'I have a boyfriend,' I say automatically because he gave an order, and apparently that's my response, even though I would have said something very different if I'd have the free will to. Three pairs of eyes bore into me, and I feel unavoidably nervous.

'Tell us who?' Jen shoots Pacey a nervous glance over the top of me and I wonder, for the first time if she and Pacey have spoken about this weird thing between he and I. I slump down further in my deckchair.

'Well Pacey, Jack, Dawson...' I trail off, relieved with my automatic response. They all slump back in their seats clearly disappointed.

'Why don't you try and pull Doug out the closet Jackers,' Pacey suggests and I know he's not looking at me anymore. My body cools a little. I wonder how he took the boyfriend statement. Did he think I meant him? His name came first out of my mouth. Dawson last. Does that mean I consider Pacey a better friend than Dawson? I guess deep down I must. And all this chatter raises the real question of _what exactly_ Pacey is to me, what with all this kissing and staring.

'Let me tell you Pace that brother of yours is a lost cause, it's a shame as well,' Jack slurps his coke.

'Eeewww. Did you just express an attraction to Deputy Doug?' Pacey mutters with distaste.

'He has a nice ass,' Jack informs us. It is true - Doug does have a nice ass. But then again, all the Witter boys seem to have nice asses.

'It's a family trait,' Pacey tells us, 'Ask Joey.'

'Isn't it true that great asses are a Witter family trait?' Jack asks me, an evil look passing between he and Jen that I don't miss. I narrow my eyes at him,

'Can't say I've noticed,' I flash him a sarcastic smile.

'To distracted by the Adonis body and the chiselled good looks, huh?' Pacey asks me in a sympathetic voice.

'Joey, even I've noticed the ass,' Jen rolls her eyes at me.

'I think I've been too distracted by the moronic personality,' I supply blushing profusely.

'Such a sweet girl,' Pacey mutters sarcastically.

'She's lying,' Jack tells the group casually.

'I am not.'

'I've seen you checking out Pacey's butt before. Now I'm not one to judge Jo. It's a nice butt,' Jack just won't shut up. God, do I have to admit my raging hormonal obsession for Pacey to the world at large?

'I have never checked out Pacey,' I scowl.

'Now that is a lie,' Pacey tuts.

'Is it?' I turn to look at him, my eyes flashing with challenge. I know full well that he can read in my eyes just how attracted to him I really am. But the banter is a game. He knows I've checked him out, of course he knows that, but getting me to admit it. Now that's his challenge.

'You want me,' he relaxes into his deckchair, a cocky smile in place and his cockiness just makes me want him more. What has happened to me? Where's rational Joey? The one that would knee him in the groin for a comment like that?

'I admit, getting rid of the Julius Caesar hair cut has been an improvement, but let's face it, it was easy to improve on something that bad,' I concede a little.

'Admit you want me,' he leans across and puts a finger under my chin. We stare at each other, his eyes reaching inside me and grabbing hold of my heart, and apparently my hormones as well.

'I want you,' I say and the words come out so sincerely that I shock us both. Rather startled Pacey drops back into his deckchair and all the while stifling giggles Jen drags herself from her deckchair.

'Come swim with me Jack,' Jen orders.

'But this is just getting interesting,' he complains.

'Jack,' Jen orders again and moaning he follows her to the water. Meanwhile I have dropped back into my deckchair, yet again burning red. What the hell do I say now?

'So Potter,' Pacey's lazy drawl breaks the silence. 'You want me do you?'

'Can't think why I said that. Moment of insanity,' I fluster standing up. I want to get away from Pacey, away from those eyes, away from the questions that the chemistry between us has raised, away from the inevitable question of what it all means.

And what does it all mean? What does it mean when the guy who's your best friend is also your challenger, the one who makes you think? What does it mean when you love to fight, but you also love to care? What does it mean when the chemistry between you and your best friend is so intense you can't look away from him even though you're willing your feet to move?

Pacey is standing in front of me and I just can't move. That damn magnetism is fixing me in one spot.

'Kiss me,' he says in a low voice and with or without the curse I do as he says. I practically throw myself into his arms, my own wrapping around him, as my tongue seeks entrance to his mouth. Now I want to crawl inside him and everything I am and everything I have goes into _that_ kiss. A low growl emits from him as he pulls me close, his erection between us, his want, his desire as clear as mine.

The clapping and whooping from the water breaks up our kiss. Our bodies don't move an inch but we turn our heads to look at Jack and Jen who are grinning, clapping and wolf whistling. Bastards.

* * *

Why oh why can't I get to sleep? For once it isn't Alex's fault. It isn't Dawson's fault. It isn't even the fault of my family's tenuous money situation. It's Pacey. I miss him. How inane is that? After making out in front of Jen and Jack we parted in embarrassment and went back to our bantering ways. We had fun, with these intense little touches between us that nobody missed, despite how subtle we thought we were.

We drove back so Pacey could head to work. Jen and Jack wanted to watch a movie with me but there's work to be done on the house. Things are kind of falling apart with barely any income, mouths to feed and a house that isn't exactly new. Bessie asked me to do some cleaning up, something to make the place feel like it isn't going to tumble down and I can understand her concern. The window frames are chipping, so I decided to sand and paint them this summer. That's my project.

Unfortunately my project is exhausting. I finished sanding off the widows on the front this morning and am going to be able to start painting them. I am so tired though and not being able to sleep is frustrating. I miss Pacey. That's definitely the problem, not the window frames. I miss the feel of him.

The noise on the window makes me jump but I'm not scared. Somehow I know it's him. I open the window and he's standing there in those baggy shorts and that ridiculous Hawaiian shirt of his. Or one of the ridiculous Hawaiian shirts of his.

'Hey Potter,' he gives me a soft smile, his words warm, his voice causing my stomach to swoop pleasantly.

'Hey Pace,' I stand back and he clambers in. 'Why are you here?' I ask.

'Thought I'd come and say hi. Tomorrow's your day off and I figured you might still be up,' he flops down on my bed and grins at me.

'Pacey,' I protest. That's my bed he's lying all over and I'm not sure lying on there with him is such a good idea considering the grope fest that occurs whenever we're in proximity.

'Come here Jo,' he says with big gorgeous eyes and of course I promptly move to the bed. The problem is he patted his stomach and as that's where _here_ is, I climb on the bed and onto him, because a curse is a curse.

'This what you meant?' I ask wryly, rather embarrassed. I raise an eyebrow at him hoping he doesn't mind.

'Well no, but hell, I'm not complaining,' he winks as I relax into this position, lying on top of Pacey, my head resting against that gorgeous chest of his. His arms wrap around me. 'I missed you,' he whispers and he presses his lips to my hair. The words and the sensations cause heat enough to cause the butterflies to go crazy.

'You did?' I ask looking down at him, aware of how girly I sound.

'Yeah,' he breathes deeply as we move our heads closer together. 'I like you Joey.'

The simple words make me pull back and I know I must be looking at him half confused and half questioning.

'This isn't just about this,' he tells me and I wonder what this is until his lips land on mine and the all-consuming rush of adrenalin and desire crash through me, making me moan and pull his head to mine. We eventually part. I look at him through barely parted lids. Come back Pacey, kiss me some more, is all I can think. I want to grab him but he's looking at me searchingly.

'Joey I really like you. This chemistry it's fuelled by that. For me at least,' he runs a thumb across my cheek. A simple gesture that makes me adore him more than I already do.

'I don't understand,' I whisper because I can barely breathe, let alone speak.

'This is more than just sex to me,' he's keeping some distance between us. He's telling me he likes me. Pacey likes me. I feel a smile growing in the pit of my stomach, ready to spread, not just over my face, but over my whole body. 'Tell me how you feel,' he beseeches and I realise that was Pacey laying his heart out for me. But tell him how I feel? I don't have a choice whether I'm ready to share or not, as it all floods out,

'Knowing you like me makes me feel happy from the very inside of me, to the outside of me,' I say rather ineloquently. I'm still half-hazy with longing but I'm not finished. I feel more than that. 'I like you too Pacey. I like to talk to you, laugh with you, fight with you, tease you, comfort you and be your friend.'

'Wow,' he begins to smile, that small smile of his that he seems to keep just for me. Why did I never notice before how that was my smile?

'And I feel like ripping every piece of clothing from you and kissing every bit of your beautiful body,' I tell him, blushing furiously, longing to do as I say, despite wishing I hadn't _had_ to say it.

'Oh,' he looks kind of startled, pleasantly startled, a small but cocky smile spreading over his face, 'I wouldn't protest,' he shrugs at length, removing the smile promptly, as if I were suggesting a movie and takeaway.

'I bet you wouldn't,' I can't help but smile.

'So what are we saying here?' he asks, clearly holding back his own smile until he's certain.

'Why do I have to have all the answers?'

'Tell me what you want out of this because I already know what I want,' his finger tips are trailing over my arms. It feels divine.

'I want to be near you. I want to kiss you. I want to spend time with you.'

'And what does all that mean?' he asks, his expression half-smiling and half scared to.

'That I want to date you,' I giggle. Goddamn the girl in me.

'You do?' he clarifies, this adorable smile spreading over him. I nod and then I do the only thing a girl in my position could ever possibly do - I roll off of Pacey and pull him on top of me, so I can feel his weight and his desire.

'Kiss me Pacey,' I tell him, but the order is really unnecessary as he lowers his lips to meet mine and my body sets off its mammoth display of inside fireworks. I moan softly as he presses against me. I know I'm in trouble. I want more of Pacey than I think I'm ready for. I want all of him, inside of me, moving on top of me, making me feel things I think only he can.

As if reading my mind Paceys kisses move to my neck, where each one is like a firework exploding, or a piece of chocolate melting on your tongue. His hand roams up my body and suddenly he's touching my breast and the whole of my body lurches and I cry out because it feels so good. This sensation I've been going on about whenever we kiss? Well what Pacey is doing now is making that sensation intensify to such levels that I'm not sure what will happen if it gets any higher. I feel like my body is going to explode. Oh god. I want him to touch me between my legs because there is this throbbing there, this throbbing that is begging to be touched. As his fingers brush over my nipple my stomach dive bombs for my toes and then keeps going up and down.

'Tell me what you want,' he breathes into my ear. I know he doesn't want to push me and that's why he's asking, only it's an order. I obediently take his hand from my breast and I swear he thinks he's gone to far, but I put it under my nightdress and between my legs because that's what I want. Deep inside that's what I really want. He groans, deep and guttural, the sound is as much of a turn on as his touch.

'Touch me here,' I'm begging because even though I've never been touched there, been though I'm not sure I'm ready and we're only going this far because he gave an innocent request, I don't actually, I just need his fingers on me at this point. His fingers start making slow, lazy patterns on my panties. 'Not there,' I'm frustrated and amazed by my audacity, but I take his hand put it under the edge of my underwear. Pacey groans again and his erection, pressed against my thigh, is so hard and yet it seems to grow harder as I moan against the feel of his fingers as they dip into my panties and touch me.

As his fingers touch me for the first time _there,_ I jolt and he almost stops but I press his hand to me, until he begins to do something that is making my body behave in a way I didn't know it could. It feels so damn good. In fact good isn't a _good_ enough word because his fingers are touching me and I feel like I'm falling into a black hole, like I'm free falling.

Pacey's finger slides inside of me and at the same time he shifts his thumb so it presses down and my body literally explodes, I cry out, his name rolling off my lips, as my body shakes and rocks. I contract around his finger and press more firmly against him, as this electrical sensation of pure happiness, or pleasure, pulses through me in one wave after another. I sigh.

What the hell was that?

'Pacey?' I open my eyes and look at him and he's smiling softly at me, his eyes stormy with desire and something else I can't place. Another emotion.

'Are you ok?' he asks softly placing a gentle kiss on my cheek.

'What just happened to me?' I ask. I feel him carefully remove his finger from inside of me and feel a sudden rush of embarrassment but then he kisses me again and the embarrassment ebbs away.

'You know what that was,' he looks down, his long eyelashes flattening against his cheeks and then back at me. He's about to say the word orgasm because Pacey doesn't get embarrassed about these things, but I stop him.

'Yeah I do,' I say pulling his hand to me, the one he had between my legs. I hold his hand in mine and look at it. His index finger is wet and I realise that it's wet with my arousal. The urge to suck that finger suddenly comes over me and without thinking I take his finger in my mouth so I can taste myself. I swirl my tongue around it and the taste is not unpleasant. Maybe I'm still acting on his "tell me what you want" request to be so bold.

'Joey,' Pacey growls my name. Literally growls and as I look at him the already intense desire in his eyes has turned fiery. Under his gaze I feel the throbbing between my legs begin its familiar drumming again.

'Tell me what you want,' I say, because I want him to feel what I just felt, what I still feel.

'You,' he murmurs the words into my ear as his hands begin to dance across my body once more. I am lost.

This boy may be the end of me.


	9. Chapter 9

**You guys are the best, you really are! Obviously there's a lot still to tell in this story - and it does take a darker turn for a chapter or two, but not this one!**

 **Please keep reviewing, it always makes me smile, and write and post...**

 **Tab x**

 **Chapter 9**

I'm at the end of my dock stripping bean pods for dinner. I smile broadly at Pacey as he drops down beside me, hanging his feet over the edge of the dock and then planting a kiss on each of my cheeks and then finally on my lips.

'How do you always manage to taste so delicious?' he wonders and I flush. 'Because quite honestly, except for that morning breath you sometimes annihilate with, you are the tastiest girl in the world.'

'You want to talk about my morning breath? You're the morning breath monster himself!' I widen my eyes, feeling happiness spread over me at his compliment and his presence even with his bad breath dig, which I know is just for show, for the banter.

'So how you feeling about things?' he asks somewhat cautiously as he starts helping me with the beans. By stuff he means the fact that were going out together. I can't help but give him a small smile. This boy makes me happy from the inside out.

'I'm pretty good with stuff as it happens,' I say and I mean it. This awful summer that should be so hard, is actually proving to be the best of my life. My smile becomes huge - my megawatt smile as mom called it.

'Well missy that's good to hear,' his face is beautiful as his own smile spreads across his face. However, before it reaches its full glory, he hesitates, coughs slightly and then says, 'there are a few things we didn't discuss,' he sounds a little anxious as he clears his throat again.

'Like what?' I give him a look. I thought things were fairly simple. They have seemed fairly simple - we can't resist each other and we like each other - a lot.

'Dawson?' he says and my face falls. I hadn't given a thought to Dawson, truth be told. 'I mean he does figure in this somewhere. He's my best friend, he's your soul-mate.'

'Actually I'm his soul-mate,' I correct.

'You know, call me crazy but I don't think golden boy is going to take to kindly to the changing status of you and I,' Pacey frowns and shells the peas with a touch more enthusiasm than necessary. He's right. I don't think Dawson would like it. But...

'Dawson made it perfectly clear that he doesn't feel that way about me anymore,' I tell Pacey.

'Who you trying to kid Joey because it's not working! You and I both know that Dawson thought he was putting some space between you guys now in aid of the greater good of you ill-fated star crossed lovers.'

'When you put it like that it just sounds so...' I begin but Pacey interrupts,

'Like you should be with him?' his demeanour slumps and I don't like it. Pacey isn't defeatist so I call him on it,

'Don't be such a moron Pacey. I was going to say it sounded cliché and a touch childish. We've never exactly been star-crossed. Maybe ill-fated but I think that's a hint about this whole "destined" notion of Dawson's. Dawson and I are best friends,' I say.

'But you share so much history.'

'And you and I are creating history, we have a future,' I didn't mean to get so deep but god _this boy_.

'That's nice,' he says simply squeezing my hand.

'And never forget that we have our own history,' I continue. 'You were my first kiss.'

'Joey,' he leans across and kisses me, a soft heartfelt kiss that drives my senses as crazy as the heated and impassioned embraces we also share.

'Lets deal with Dawson when we have to,' I shrug.

'But if he calls you'll tell him?' he asks.

'Will you?'

'If you want me to,' he stares at me uncertainly.

'We can't lie.'

'So if Dawson calls you tell him about you and I, and I do the same if he calls me,' Pacey clarifies and I know that Dawson will know before the end of the summer. I won't bottle it because Pacey just told me to do it. I'm kind of scared by the idea but also excited by it. Dawson is so sure of himself and it might actually be fun letting him know that I've fallen in love with his best friend. Scratch that, I didn't just say love. I'm not in love with Pacey. Maybe lust and a lot of like but not love. Definitely not love.

'There are other things,' Pacey abandons shelling peas and moves so he's sat behind me cradling my body. It feels so nice to be there with him. I want to abandon the peas but Bessie told me to get them done. Pacey's arms are strong and the skin of them feels delicious as they slide against my skin.

'Like what?' I breathe in his scent greedily. Even the smell of him turns me on. He's so damn cute and sexy and gorgeous and kind and annoying and romantic and charming and thoughtful and generous and, _god I am such a girl_.

'Like public displays of affection,' he says nervously, unaware of my thoughtful musings. Does he mean holding my hand or kissing me like we need a room and fast? I frown. 'That's a no then,' he says rather abruptly, reading my silence.

'Not a no. I suppose public displays of affection are ok, so long as they're of the spontaneous variety,' I say and his face lights up.

'I can be spontaneous,' he says gleefully. I look over my shoulder at him and raise a cynical eyebrow,

'Of that I have no doubt,' I agree.

'You like my spontaneity,' he defends clearly offended.

'No I like a quiet and peaceful life,' I argue back.

'Now that's a good one,' his fake laugh crackles, 'Josephine Potter and a quiet life. Isn't that an oxymoron?'

'You're the moron,' I shoot back with absolutely no venom at all.

'You know I'd have thought with this new found affection between us we'd have progressed beyond the petty banter,' he says feigning hurt.

'Now life _would_ be boring if we did that,' I muse.

'And spontaneity is all about the banter, although you're going to have to work on your come backs frauline,' he teases.

'Do you ever stop talking?' I ask him watching his lips move and his hands run over mine as I continue to shell peas.

'I happen to think of myself as rather silent and brooding you know, in a sexy, rugged man way,' he says and I can't help but chuckle.

'Roguish and charming maybe, but I'd give up the fantasy of silent and brooding. You're not James Dean more the _Rebel without a cause_.'

'Now, now Josephine, was that a movie metaphor?' he wags his finger at me and I bite it and look at him under my lashes in what I hope is a seductive pose. 'Now there's no point trying that on me. I am obviously completely immune to your charms and I will be telling Jack and Jen about your breaking of our no movie metaphor pact.'

'Traitor,' I hiss at him, but swirl my tongue around that finger still pointed at me,many his eyes close.

'Now Jo, you know being mean gets you nowhere,' he tells me virtuously.

'Being mean, on occasion, gets me everywhere,' I give him a significant look and he knows exactly what I'm referring to. 'Oh and Pacey,' he looks at me, 'if you really want to be immune to my charms then go ahead. I'm quite immune to yours. It's really rather easy considering you don't have any.'

'I take it back. You're not mean, you're downright heartless,' I know he's frowning but then he leans forward and peppers my neck with soft, warm kisses, a veritable tickertape parade of them. I would happily stay like this in Pacey's arms forever.

* * *

God it is hot today. I love the summer. Nothing can beat the feeling of lying on the sun-heated dock, watching the clouds as they make their lazy way across the sky and debating the meaning of life with friends. Or a boy.

Pacey is beside me and his fingers are touching mine, making gentle swirling patterns on my wrist. God I love being with him. Work feels like some kind of torture because I am forced to be away from him but sometimes Pacey will come and sit at the Marina, watching me clean boats and fill up for the rich folk or the lucky folk. Sometimes he even helps me, but this is Pacey and he talks more than helps, though he always does the really tough stuff. He talks to me about the boat we're going to own one day. I'd love to sail off into the sunset with him, as cliché as it sounds.

He's in negotiation to buy a boat, one that got damaged in a storm a month ago. I tease him about it - I mean what kind of boat can he really afford? But secretly we both know I think it's a great idea. However, today we're discussing a different project. It's a project we devised at the pool yesterday with Jen and Jack.

'I'm just reminding you that when we asked you what _you_ thought Bessie should do with the insurance money, you said open a B &B,' Pacey's voice is low and I find it a constant seduction. What is wrong with me? I used to be rational and now I'm a wreck.

'Actually what I said is that I wanted her to talk to me about what she spends the money on,' I remind him.

'And I just think you aught to have that dialogue with her. I think it's a good idea. I could talk to some people, get you some labour,' Pacey is looking at me, I can just tell. I turn my head and our eyes meet. Pacey has means and ways that the rest of us can't imagine. I bet he could get the entire Capeside police department building our B&B for free. Pacey could charm the ass off a donkey. Maybe _he_ needs to talk to Bessie.

'You'd do that huh?' I ask softly thinking of how much he wants to help. The thing about Pacey is you know he's not all talk. He means what he says.

'Sure I would. But you've got to talk to Bessie.'

'I'm stalling,' I admit.

'Stalling? But why?' his beautiful eyes widen in surprise.

'Well to be honest I'm kind of worried the insurance people won't pay out. Given that it was arson, given that my dad was running a drug ring from the family business, given all that...' my voice rises with my stress.

'Hey Jo,' he says gently and cups my face in his hand. 'They aren't going to punish you and Bessie for that. The fire wasn't your fault, and the insurance was in Bessie's name - it'll be fine,' he says with such certainty and with such care that I feel myself relaxing. I believe him.

'Ok but I think Bessie wants to reopen the Icehouse,' I tell him.

'But she hasn't thought of a B&B. It's a great idea Jo. She'd save on childcare, I mean there isn't really a better idea besides which, you know the insurance won't be enough to rebuild and reopen the Icehouse,' he says the latter gently and I shrug against the rough wooden boards.

'I'll talk to her,' I say begrudgingly.

'And when you get that cheque, I'll work my magic and we'll begin work on the Pacey J Witter memorial wing,' he grins.

'You're not dead you doufus,' I grin back.

'But whenever you're in there I want you to remember me,' he's rolled on his side, his hand roaming under my t-shirt. His hands are amazing. I never thought hands could be a turn on, but when I look at Pacey's hands I get so turned on I want to do dirty things at the next available opportunity. I know what they can do. They should be insured. What they're doing now is really distracting me from the conversation at hand. See all I can think about are hands.

'Pacey,' I warn him, but his hand is relentless, his fingers caressing and bringing fire to my skin.

'When you're lying in bed in that new bedroom of yours, I want you to dream about me,' he leans forward, his breath in my ear. Oh god. Resistance is futile.

* * *

Pacey is off buying popcorn. Despite our no movie metaphor rule, as we're dating and Capeside is small, we've abandoned the whole, no movies _at all_ rule. Of course he's pretty imaginative with dates. We mostly head to the pool with Jen and Jack during the day, but when Pacey isn't working he'll take me bowling, or to the roller rink, or even simply to the park for a picnic. On my day off once he talked his way into borrowing Jack's dads boat and took me out sailing. Now that was really amazing. One day maybe we'll sail off into the sunset on a boat he owns. Gawd, I'm pathetic.

'Hey Jo,' he sinks into the seat beside me and hands me the popcorn and a little wad of napkins for my hands. Damn him. He doesn't even realise what a beautiful gesture that is. He grins at me and points at the screen with a happy smile as daffy duck appears.

'You're such a child,' I tease into his ear but we're both well aware of the way my voice has dropped. I'm clearly not complaining.

'Good Lord woman, I can't take you anywhere,' he chides waggling his finger at me.

'What?' I protest.

'Constant come ons and seductiveness. I'll begin to think you only want me for my body,' he turns back to the screen as if he could care less.

'It's true,' I shrug easily. He looks at me offended, then shrugs and shoots me an easy smile,

'There are worse things,' he acknowledges and takes my hand. We both know this isn't just physical.

* * *

'Just stop being so you,' I complain as Pacey keeps prodding at me and tickling my tummy as we lie by the pool. Jen and Jack are off swimming and Pacey wants to talk to me, but we talk so much. We've philosophically debated everything from politics, to history, to sex, to relationships, to space and the great here after. _But_ Pacey likes to talk to me. Normally I wouldn't complain, I like nothing more than talking back, but last night Alex was sick and I was up most of the night, then at work. Today I want to close my eyes and drift to sleep, not banter and debate and frolic, well maybe we could frolic.

'You're just no fun Josephine,' he pouts.

'It's not going to work,' I tell him feeling slight irritation at his use of my full name.

'What isn't going to work Josephine?'

'I'm not biting,' I try to ignore him.

'But I wish you would Josephine,' he growls seductively in my ear making each hair on my body stand to attention.

'And I wish you'd go away,' I growl back with as much annoyance as I can muster. It really is frustrating that he has this _control_ over me.

'You wound me Josephine,' he says slumping back.

'Will you just stop calling me Josephine,' I yell at him, now glaring in his direction. 'If you want your balls to remain attached I seriously suggest you reconsider ever using my full name again.'

'A little touchy today, huh, Josephine?' he can't help but add my name, almost willing me to explode. I do.

'Just a little,' my voice is dangerously low, 'and you should know better,' I glare thinking what I should do to him. My eyes land on his smooth bronzed chest and an idea occurs. 'Now when I'm tired I get a little ancy,' I acknowledge as I straddle his lap so I'm facing him. 'Winding me up... well it may seem funny,' he smiles as my hands wonder over his gorgeous skin. 'But let me remind you. You've known me since we were children. And you know better than to use my full name when I'm tired and irritable,' as I say the words I lower my lips and kiss his nose all the while moving my hands until I have hold of his swimming trunks. Then with all my might I tug on them giving him a wedgy he won't forget. That'll teach him. He yelps in surprise and I jump off of him. He's out of his chair and fuming. I see his face and I can't help but laugh until I'm laughing so much my stomach hurts. He grabs hold of me and throws me into the water and proceeds to water wrestle me, beginning to laugh as well. Unfortunately this only leads to making out because we want each other so damn much. I'd hate him if I didn't love him so much.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi everyone,**

 **Thanks again. You guys make the time and effort worth it!**

 **Ok, so we have this last chapter before Dawson returns. Enjoy! Glad you enjoyed the last curse free chapter - I wanted to emphasize Joey's free will in being with Pacey.**

 **Please review. You know I love it:-)**

 **Tabx**

 **Chapter 10**

The summer is almost over. Its been the best summer of my life. That sounds so trite in many ways but in all honesty the last four months could have been hell, but instead they've been wonderful, and extremely full.

I've been working hard at the Marina but not for much longer as Bessie thinks the idea of a B&B is great, and when the insurance money comes through we're going to start working on it. Even with my pervert of a boss I haven't minded working at the Marina that much, and the boss can't really complain - I am the most obedient employee he's ever had. He asks me out and leers but luckily has never told me to do anything I don't want to do which is a relief. I can't imagine trying to explain _that_ to Pacey.

Pacey is the real reason this summer has been so amazing. Pacey and I have always had a fiery relationship but when he comforted me on my dock about Dawson's rejection over four months ago something shifted between us. We realized we cared, and those feelings combined with the undeniable chemistry, well suffice to say its been good.

Through the first couple of weeks of the summer Pacey came by and was there for me and then he arrived with Jack and Jen and the perfect summer began. Two weeks later we were together and three months later I find it hard to believe I ever hated him, or thought I did. Love seems too corny and overused to describe what I feel. I feel like Pacey and I are unique, in fact in some way I know we are. Not that I've told him that.

This summer has been filled with dares, laughter, and simply hanging out in the beautiful sunshine. Its been hot and whenever I smell Jasmine (that grows near the pool), sunscreen, Jens perfume, Jacks deodorant or the delicious scent that is Pacey I will forever be reminded of endless hot days, relaxing in deckchairs, swimming in cool water and kissing Pacey, his gorgeous body holding mine close.

Pacey and I have had so much fun, and though he used to make me laugh, I had no idea we could talk about anything, that we could be close, and that my stomach would ache from laughing. Sure, we've fought and bickered the same as always, but we've flirted and frolicked as well. I'll never forget the weekend sailing that Bessie let us go on (ok so Jack and Jen were with us) or the fun dates, or just messing about with him at the pool. We all went camping, up near Dawson and Pacey's old fort and that was great, although the best moments were when Pacey would tap at my window late at night. Sometimes he'd come inside and the amazingly intoxicating chemistry would consume us for hours, but other times, we'd go lie on my dock in the moonlight. Pacey would cradle me in his arms and we'd just talk for hours. Those were the best moments because they caused me to fall head over heels in love with him.

But the summer _is_ over. Dawson is back in three days. I only know because Bessie bumped into Gail and Gail told her. Dawson hasn't called any of us. I have to say I'm surprised. He did call Pacey once but didn't give Pacey a chance to tell him about us. I'm kind of nervous about what will happen when Dawson finds out. I don't think it'll be pretty but at the same time if he's expecting the world to stay the same, then he's living a fantasy. But living a fantasy really does sum up Dawson.

'Hey pretty girl,' Pacey's voice embraces me as he flops into the deckchair beside me.

'Grown bored of playing Frisbee with Jack?' I ask.

'He can throw it far but his aims off,' Pacey shrugs.

'Maybe your catching is what's off?' I tease.

'I caught you,' he says.

'That was cheesy - even for you,' I slap him lightly but he grabs hold of my hand and threads his fingers through mine.

'But true,' he grins charmingly.

'Anyway, I'm not some fish to be caught...' I begin.

'Calm down my sassy little frauline. I don't see you as a possession, I'm merely marvelling at my incredible luck.'

'Luck?'

'Yeah I never thought...well...' he's clearly struggling, his big eyes full of emotions.

'It's ok Pace,' I say softly and lean across to kiss him.

'So tonight?' he asks indicating his suggestion we head to the roller rink.

'I checked my diary and I'm really to sorry to say I'm busy...' I tease.

'You're a fickle mistress,' he teases affectionately his nose next to mine and he kisses me again.

* * *

'Do you want to know something Joey?' Pacey asks. His arms are wrapped around me as we sit on the dock. It's late the night before Dawson's arrival home and it somehow feels like the last night of the summer.

'Sure,' I snuggle back into his embrace and then tilt my head backwards so he can give me a soft kiss.

'I liked you for a long time, I mean I loved Andie I really did, but a while back you remember those times we kissed before you and Dawson...well I liked you back then,' he says.

'But we always fought so much,' I say surprised. I remember the chemistry, those amazing toe curling kisses, and Pacey being thoughtful but I don't remember it being more than that.

'The thing is Jo, I really fell for you hard back then. When I was with Andie well I was with her good and proper and you know, I would never cheat on a girlfriend, but I have to tell you if I'd ever thought that maybe that you might like me back, well I don't know whether Andie and I would have got together or even stayed together...'

'Really?' I don't know what to make of that.

'Damnit, it's all coming out wrong. I mean, I wasn't with her because I thought I had no chance with you. I guess what I'm saying is this process of falling for you, its been going on longer than you think.'

'That's not going to make me sleep with you Pacey,' I say giving him a roll of my eyes over my shoulder.

'So droll, here I am getting deep and you cheapen it!' he wraps his arms around me tighter.

'Seriously Pace, I get what you're saying and it's nice to hear,' I admit the truth softly because I'm embarrassed.

'Good,' Pacey kisses my ear and it's a gorgeous sensation.

'Last day at the pool tomorrow,' I say.

'And Dawson in the evening,' Pacey adds.

'Look, lets enjoy our big last hurrah at the pool with Jen and Jack and worry about Dawson when he finally makes contact with either you or I,' I tell him.

'Sounds like a plan my love,' he whispers and the term of endearment makes me smile all over. For a few moments I basque in my love sickness and then I remember the extremely exciting news I got this morning,

'Bessie got the cheque this morning,' I say softly, and smile because I know his reaction will be huge. He doesn't disappoint,

'Really?' Pacey practically screeches but I just laugh.

'Hey don't deafen me boyo!' I remind him.

'You got the cheque?' he laughs kissing me.

'Yeah, so the B&B can commence. I hope your offer of some labour might still ring true?' I can't help chuckling as he splatters my face with tiny kisses.

'This is great. The plans are drawn, so we're good to get going,' he is thinking out loud.

'We sure are,' I say and snuggle back into his arms.

'Wow. The summer really is over. No more horrible Marina boss, a new business, your own room, Dawson coming home...'

'School,' I tease and he chuckles.

'Yeah school.'

'I'm really sad the summer is over,' I admit.

'Me too,' he sighs.

'Pace, do you have a favourite smell?' I ask and he quietens apparently adjusting to the new direction of the conversation. He thinks for a moment,

'Yeah the smell of snow. I remember as a kid it started snowing and I opened the window wide and it just it filled my lungs, this smell, and I swear it was the snow...' he trails off and I look back at him long enough to kiss his cheek.

'Mine is bacon, hot and sizzling, wafting into my bedroom. Saturday night my mom would work at the bar but Sundays she'd cook breakfast for us. The smell would drift down the hall into my bedroom and wake me up. I always associate it with her. I used to stand in the kitchen talking to her about whatever and she'd tell me that one day she'd quit working at the bar and open her own B&B,' my voice cracks slightly but I really want him to know how much his effort has helped. He managed to get an architect friend of Doug's to draw up the plans for free and without him this wouldn't be happening. He truly is amazing.

'That's a nice memory,' he says. 'Smell really makes memories live don't you think?'

'More than anything,' I agree.

'I think it's nice that we're making your moms dream come true,' Pacey says.

'It's my dream as well now,' I add.

'And Bessie's.'

'Yeah and Bessies. You know what smells will always remind me of this summer?' I ask because I want to share this with him.

'Jasmine,' he says with a big smile,

'And sunscreen,' I laugh softly.

'Oh yeah definitely sunscreen, and Jens perfume of course. She wears a lot of the stuff.'

'Jack's deodorant,' I grin back at him and he rests his forehead against mine.

'And you, everything about you, from your skin to your hair, to the very intimate you...' Pacey's voice is low and it's making my hairs stand on end.

'And the smell of you,' I whisper back flushing slightly but Pacey just chuckles and kisses my nose, then my mouth until were just a tangle of limbs on the end of the dock.

* * *

'This is the end,' Jack intones to the music booming out of the stereo.

'This is the end, my friend,' I sing along. Pacey's stereo has lived at the pool with us and somehow _The Doors_ "The End" is fitting to our mood.

'God, you two are depressing,' Jen complains.

'At least I didn't sob " _this is the last first swim of the day_ ,"' I mimic the cry she made earlier.

'And at least I didn't look at Joey's carefully made salami sandwich and get a lump in my throat,' Jack looks pointedly at Pacey. My cute boy looks back,

'I'll have you know that the salami sandwich held a special significance,' he says seriously.

'In that it would fill a hole in your stomach?' I ask with an arch of my eyebrows.

'Ha ha,' he gives me a sarcastic and scathing look, 'it was actually the fact that you made the sandwich that brought the lump to my throat,' he says and smiles at me. I smile back. It's true that I cook for no one normally but as it was the last day I decided to bring sandwiches.

'That's sweet,' I say and reward him with a big smile, but his lips twitch,

'Actually Jo, I was kind of worried because _you_ made the sandwiches. I was remembering the last sandwich you made me back in eight grade and the food poisoning that followed,' he gives me a hopeful smile but I glare at him. Bastard.

'Fine,' I huff. 'I'll never cook for any of you again,' I slit my eyes at them all menacingly because Jack and Jen seem to think Pacey is hugely amusing.

'Is that a promise?' he asks with optimism.

'Go to hell,' I growl.

'Ah sweet Jo you know we love you, you just can't cook,' Pacey shifts uncomfortably.

'Are you saying the food at the _Icehouse_ was bad?' I ask giving him a warning glare.

'To be fair Jo, you just served the food, you didn't cook it.'

'Man speaks the truth,' Jack nods.

'Trust you to take his side,' I glare at Jack, and Jen's about to speak. She opens her mouth but when I glare at her she promptly shuts it again.

'Come on Joey - admit you can't cook, it's no bad thing...' Pacey begins but I interrupt,

'Ok, I can't cook. I can't cook,' stupid dumb curse stealing my backbone, 'Happy? Satisfied? That's the last time I do something nice for you ungrateful sods.'

'So no dive of death as our big hurrah?' Pacey asks a little sarcastically clearly amused by the offence I've taken.

'Not a chance,' I shake my head. 'Besides the beers are our big hurrah,' I shoot Jen a smile.

'Damn you Pacey - I wanted to see Joey do that dive again,' Jen murmurs but I know she doesn't really because she winks at me.

'It's dangerous,' Pacey says in an unbelievably caring way. However, that's not the Pacey of old, the Pacey that would dare me.

'Are you saying that it's too dangerous?' I ask and he picks up on my tone immediately.

'Well no... I mean we all saw you do it but those rocks, well they're pretty big and in the way and...'

'I could do it again,' my eyes narrow. 'I have good aim you know.'

'But Jo...' Pacey protests.

'Well I could.'

'Fine, go make the dive of death!' Pacey mutters sarcastically holding up his hands as if he's given up. Nobody expects me to do it, but the damn boy would go and tell me to - I'm just hoping the curse doesn't interpret the whole death thing literally. I try to stay where I am but my feet start marching me up the hill to the diving point. 'Are you crazy woman?' Pacey calls chasing after me.

'Must be,' I answer.

'I didn't mean for you to do it Joey, please don't be stupid,' he pleads but we're at the top and I've thrown myself off. 'Don't hurt yourself Joey,' he shouts and I can hear his concern. Thank god he shouted that.

I land in the water and burst to the surface in near euphoria. That was awesome. Pacey is racing down the hill and Jack and Jen are on the banks cheering. Then they're all in the water with me and we're hugging and cheering. Jack is describing the dive and Jen is looking at me with admiration, while Pacey holds me close.

'That was amazing Joey,' Pacey whispers in my ear kissing it. 'Fucking fearless,' he shouts over Jacks reanimation.

'I rename you Joey the Brave,' Jack announces.

'Can't I be Joey the courageous?' I ask and Jack nods enthusiastically dubbing me with the nearby stick floating by.

'I name you Joey the Courageous human canon of Capeside!'

'Give Jen a name,' I tell Jack.

'Yeah I want a name,' Jen agrees floating on her back.

'Jen the wisdom filled Jedi,' Jack says after a moment of thought. It's perfect for her, she is the wise sage amongst us, but Pacey releases me and dunks Jack. Spluttering Jack resurfaces.

'Hey,' he complains to Pacey.

'That was a movie metaphor man, you deserved it,' Pacey shrugs easily and Jack grins,

'Pacey the Pathetic Poetic Poser,' Jack dubs him quickly.

'That's not a name - it's just alliteration,' Pacey immediately protests whilst Jen and I giggle.

'Fine, Jack Attack get a man in the sack,' Pacey quickly dubs Jack.

'No fair,' Jack moans and they begin to wrestle coming up with worse and worse names for each other. Jen and I swim to the edge and flop into our deckchairs letting the sun warm our water cooled bodies.

'So you seem pretty happy Joey,' Jen looks at me feigning lightness. We've had conversations like this all summer.

'Yeah,' I answer feigning disinterest.

'Joey, I think Jack and I have been very patient. We hang out with you guys just about every day and we've tried not to pry...'

'Oh really?' I turn to her incredulous.

'I can't help it if we failed.'

'You and Jack bring added value to the definition of nosy,' I tell her.

'You've been coy about this all long enough, I want to know about Pacey and you so just tell me everything Joey,' she spouts in frustration. Jack and Pacey are still in the water now clearly enjoying coming up with ruder and ruder names for each other. Jen and I have some time for female intimacy.

'He's the most annoying boy in the world,' I begin because she told me to tell her everything. She's about to say something, some witty retort no doubt but my mouth keeps moving, 'and when I see him I want him so much I feel like I might combust if he doesn't come near me. It's almost physical torture to not be able to see him or touch him. He's being so Pacey about everything, so thoughtful, so romantic, but also so cheeky about it, so it doesn't feel cliché even though it is. He's driving me crazy, making my body go crazy, and when we're together I just want him to rip off my clothes and have his way with me as per classic romantic novel. In fact as per pornographic film, well maybe not a porno but something in which he just has sex with me, a lot. I'm scared my attraction to Pacey is dominating my sense of reason. I am so far in love with him I don't think I could fall any further and then every time he smiles, or says something, or touches me, or gives me a look that's just for me, I fall further. And it's a black hole I'm falling into Jen. If feels like an endless black hole that you can only fall into and never climb back out of it.

I'm terrified because I'm so in love with him and he doesn't know and he may not feel the same and it feels like, well it feels like it will never end...' I trail off.

'Wow you sure know how to tell it all. Now how about you tell Pacey all that,' she says and it sounds like a request, though I don't think she meant it that way, and I look at her with a flash of panic. It's an order or something like it because thanks to the curse I jump out of my seat and head for Pacey. I look back at Jen with complete fear on my face and she furrows her brow in confusion and question.

I wade through the water until I reach Pacey and Jack. They stop their argument because it is apparently clear I am on a mission. I look at Pacey and I begin to talk,

'Pacey you're the most annoying boy in the world and when I see you I want you so much I feel like I might combust if you don't come near me. It's almost a physical torture to not be able to see you or touch you. You're being so Pacey about everything so thoughtful, so romantic, but also so cheeky about it so it doesn't feel cliché even though it is. You're driving me crazy, making my body go crazy and when we're together I just want you to rip off my clothes and have your way with me as per classic romantic novel. In fact as per pornographic film, well maybe not a porno but something in which you just have sex with me, _a lot_. I'm scared my attraction to you is dominating my sense of reason. I am so far in love with you I don't think I could fall any further and then every time you smile, or say something and I mean anything, or touch me, or give me a look that's just for me I fall further. And it's a black hole I'm falling into Pacey. If feels like an endless, but very pleasant, black hole that you can only fall into and never climb back out of it.

I'm terrified because I'm so in love with you and you don't know it, well until now, and maybe you don't feel the same and it feels like, well it feels like this feeling will never end...' I trail off. Pacey stares at me, blue eyes wide, and jaw agape. He certainly wasn't expecting that!

Pacey and I are staring at each other in silence. Jack rather unsubtly exits the water and joins Jen on the deckchairs to watch this unfold.

I look at the water and force back tears because he hasn't said anything. I'm not sorry I'm in love with him, he's truly special, but I hate the curse for forcing me to telling him before I'm ready, perhaps before he's ready. It's not Jens fault but really I don't think I'll cope if he says he doesn't feel the same - if he rejects me. The thought of Pacey rejecting me makes me realize how different my feelings for Dawson were from this. This is true love. Love at its purest.

I wish he would say something. I can't look at him because while he's silent and I don't see his face there's hope.

'You're sure?' he says eventually, his voice cracking slightly and when I finally meet his eyes, I find these two cobalt orbs boring into my soul.

'Yes,' I say eventually and then this smile just spreads all over his face and it seems to radiate from him. Suddenly I'm in his arms and he's kissing me all over. 'Why didn't you say so?'

'I thought I just did,' I mumble.

'Yeah,' he grins.

'So...' I venture as he stares down at me still grinning.

'What's the matter Joey?' he asks suddenly realizing I'm not smiling back in the same giddy fashion.

'How do you feel?' I ask in a small voice.

'You really are crazy Jo!' Pacey stares at me. 'I thought it was obvious how I feel, how I've felt...I love you Joey.'

He says the words and the spontaneous happiness he had captures me as we fall into this kiss that makes the world around us fade into oblivion. The big hurrah.


	11. Chapter 11

**Ok, so when I wrote this I was still entirely appalled with Dawson and how he behaved in reaction to Joey and Pacey. Hold in mind his control, his silent passive aggressive anger, his ultimatums... I'm not into making Dawson the villain anymore, but hold him in mind...**

 **Thanks for the reviews. I'm really interested to hear what you think of this chapter, so please review!**

 **Tabx**

 **Chapter Eleven**

Pacey is holding me close as he drives us back from the pool. He doesn't seem to want to let me go and has been hanging in tightly since we admitted how we really feel, and quite honestly I love it. I love him, I love everything about telling him and hearing him say the words back to me. Jack and Jen are in the back grinning at each other every time they look at each other and we're all a little giggly to be honest. We're all high from the beer (except Pacey), my dive of death, Pacey and I declaring our love, the heat and the fact that the summer is over and the fact that it has been so fantastic.

Pacey pulls up in front of Grams house and the two in the back jump out saying goodbye to Pacey. As Pacey has work I'm going to hang out with Jen and Jack but I can't just leave.

'Bye then Pace,' I say and then our lips are together and the kiss seems to consumes us both.

'Jeez Joey, you're just so damn addictive,' he murmurs into the kiss, interspersing the words with kisses.

'You'll be late for work,' I grin into the warmth of his mouth.

'Can I come over later?' he asks looking like a little boy. I melt a little,

'You better,' I tell him and throw myself onto him. What in the world has he done to me?

* * *

I'm unsure how long Pacey and I have been kissing for but when Jack taps on the car window and points to his watch, I detach myself from Pacey and say goodbye. I head to the porch for some lemonade and biscuits with Jen and Jack.

After a couple of hours spent chatting, I think about heading next door to see if Dawson is back. None of us are particularly keen for reasons I don't quite understand but eventually I suggest it, after all we've all been shooting looks in the direction of his house. Jack looks at me and almost spits out his lemonade,

'And you're going to tell him about you and Pace?' he splutters.

'Well that is the idea,' I roll my eyes.

'Then hell yeah, we're coming with you,' Jen grins.

'Aren't you worried, you know, about the dramatic reaction?' Jack ventures.

'Hey, Dawson's not that bad,' I protest because sometimes he really isn't.

'Sure he's not. He's going to be really understanding about his best friend and his soul mate getting it together!' Jen mutters sarcastically.

'Where did this soul mate stuff come from anyway?' I ask finding my stomach twist in sudden nerves.

'I think Dawson decided that you and he were destined and everyone just kinda jumped on the bandwagon,' Jen tells me.

'Well everyone needs to jump right off. Even if we are soul mates, where in the fine print does it say we have to be together? And if we are soul mates, how come I've fallen in love with someone else?' I pout and Jack squeezes my cheeks,

'So cute,' he grins at me and Jen giggles.

'Oh you two are annoying.'

'I just want to see Dawson's face,' Jen admits. 'Which is awful of me because he's my friend, but he so won't have seen this coming.'

'This is really going to hurt him though, isn't it?' I hate the thought.

'Getting hurt is all part of growing up babe,' Jack ruffles my hair.

'I didn't do this on purpose,' I add.

'Hell, you didn't stand much of a chance - you and Pacey just have some major sparks going on, no one can deny that,' Jen gives me an unexpected kiss on the cheek. 'Now go be brave,' she says. 'Dawson is going to have to understand,' she adds with certainty. I immediately turn in the direction of Dawson's house feeling new and steely determination.

'Let's go,' I say, touched by her affection but also slightly thrown by it. 'Thanks.'

'It's ok. You and Pacey are together, you're in love and we're all behind you one hundred percent, ok?'

'Ok,' I nod and with curse related bravery I head to Dawson's.

* * *

'Hi Mr Leery,' I smile.

'Joey,' he pulls me into a warm embrace and I feel really guilty. Of course it's stupid to feel guilty about something I can do nothing about. 'It's so good to see you. I've been lonely here with Dawson in Philadelphia.'

'It must have been pretty quiet,' I shrug knowing I should be drowning in nerves but thanks to Jen's "be brave" order feeling nothing but determination and courage.

'Definitely quiet. I'm so used to you and Pacey being around as well,' he smiles at Jack and Jen.

'So is, um, Dawson here?' I venture shifting from foot to foot, impatient now.

'Actually he headed over to see you at your place to see you. He said he'd missed you,' Mr Leery gives me a pointed look. I feel defensive. It's not my fault if he missed me, and I missed him to, just not in the way Mr Leery is insinuating.

'He didn't call,' I mutter surprising even myself, I guess it was brave,

'I think that sometimes it's hardest to speak to the people we want to speak to most of all,' Mr Leery tells us and I think he's alluding to he and Mrs Leery. Anyway, I don't really get it but I nod all the same.

'Well I'll head back to mine and see him, but tell him we called by if we miss each other,' I say.

'Sure thing, and don't be a stranger any of you,' he gives us all a warm smile.

* * *

My stomach should be twisting in knots as I walk home, but I'm calm. I know that's the drug like effect of Jen's demand and the curse over me. Grams produced dinner for Jack and Jen thus preventing them accompanying me so I'm on my own. I really wish they were with me because despite my fake bravado, this isn't something I really want to do. I'm being brave but I still feel uncertainty about how it will all end up. Jack spent quite some time dreaming up the worst possible reactions Dawson could have to the news, and while I know he was only joking, it certainly set _my_ imagination going. He said it was too make any reaction he does have seem ok by comparison but I think he enjoyed trying to wind me up.

'Hey pretty girl, 'Pacey pulls up beside me and I can't help but grin at him.

'Hey Pace,' I get into the car and he pulls me into a warm kiss.

'I got off early, and when I called Jen she said you were walking home and I thought you know... be a gentleman and all that,' he shrugs.

'I'm not some frail little lady,' I remind him, because it's so very me to berate him over something sweet and kind.

'Now you see, there you go! I knew you'd start up with the feminism. I try and do something nice...' I kiss his lips to stop his rant. I love the rants, but I also love to stop them with a kiss.

'Thank you Pace,' I smile at him and he grins back.

'So Jen, she mentioned that Dawson is at yours,' his face tenses and I can tell he's as nervous as me, or as nervous as I am deep down.

'Yeah,' I nod.

'And we're telling him?' he asks.

'Yeah,' I nod.

'Together?'

'Of course,' I nod yet again and then look at him. He seems worried, 'Why are you so sceptical? You do want to tell him don't you?'

'I really want to tell him. He's our best friend. I was kind of worried you might be having cold feet,' he looks at me a small frown etched into his forehead.

'My feet are warm and toasty Pace. I am nervous about his reaction but we're telling him,' I state.

'It's not going to be pretty,' Pacey warns.

'Look, I've had Jack coming up with every possible scenario and I'm not worried. At best he'll shout and stomp and then understand and at worst he'll denounce our friendship, but I think even if he does that he'll have to come around, because who else is he going to be friends with?' I lace my fingers through Pacey's as we pull up at my house. 'Let's be brave.'

'You're an amazing girl Joey Potter,' he turns the car off and kisses me. 'I love you.'

'I love you,' I tell him, the words unfamiliar on my tongue. 'Now lets go deal!'

* * *

As we push through the door Pacey's large hand is holding mine. I look at the room. Dawson is sat on the couch (aka my bed) drinking tea and chatting to Bessie about Philadelphia. His blond hair is longer and he looks relaxed. The B&B plans are out so I take it she's told him about that. I wonder what else he knows.

'Joey, Pacey! About time,' Bessie gushes. 'I'll leave you guys.' She catches my eye and gives a little shake of her head to let me know she hasn't told him.

'Joey,' Dawson is on his feet and pulling me into a hug and then he gives Pacey a hug, apparently oblivious to our hand holding. 'How are you guys?'

'How are _you_?' I ask feeling pleased he's back and also regretful. It's weird having two such opposing emotions at the same time.

'I'm good. Philadelphia was great, my mom was great. I missed you all, but I interned with my mom and was pretty busy. Lots of good experience,' he gives us an open smile. One of his friendliest. 'So what's been happening in sunny Capeside?'

'Um, well,' I stutter and look at Pacey who looks so hurt I hate myself. He wants me to say the words, to tell Dawson and to then look after the consequences. I squeeze his hand. 'Dawson, we need to tell you that, well, Pacey and I...we're...'

'Together?' he finishes for me with a soft smile.

'Yeah,' I nod.

'That's great you guys,' he smiles broadly and hugs me again.

'You're not mad dude?' Pacey is staring at Dawson as if he were an alien in a Dawson suit.

'Of course I'm not mad. My two best friends together I mean it's great,' a flicker of something crosses his face but is then gone as he smiles.

'But how did you know?' I ask in disbelief. Dawson must have really grown up in Philly.

'You're holding hands Joey,' he chuckles at me and I smile. This is the perfect reaction. This kind of reaction was never discussed. Not by anyone. 'So tell me about it? When? What have you guys being doing all summer?'

'Hanging out with Jack and Jen mostly,' Pacey seems to relax now, and plays idly with my fingers, something I think only I am aware of Dawson watching.

'Yeah?' he smiles but there's that flicker of something else again.

'Yeah its been a really great summer. We missed you but we've had fun,' I look at Pacey feeling really worried. Something doesn't feel right. Pacey, however, doesn't seem to have picked up on it. He's got an easy smile on his face,

'We hung out at this secret, natural pool and it was the coolest place ever D. There's this diving spot and Joey, she dived off it twice and it was totally awesome,' he chuckles.

'And how did you two get together?' Dawson asks with the same, soft smile on his face, his eyes wide and sincere.

'You know,' I shrug shyly.

'We just kind of realised we like each other a lot. We were spending a lot of time together, and there was chemistry, you know,' Pacey blushes, apparently shy as well.

'I'm really glad you guys are happy,' Dawson nods.

* * *

As I shut the door behind Dawson, Pacey and I turn to face each other and fall into each others arms laughing.

'Can you believe we worried the whole summer about telling him for a reaction as passive as that?' Pacey chuckles.

'You'd think he could muster up a little more resentment for the apparent love of his life,' I pout.

'You're a little put out that he wasn't angrier aren't you?' Pacey appraises me with a trained eye, clearly amused. 'Come on now Jo, admit it,' he grins impishly.

'Maybe a little,' I shrug and smile at him from under my lashes, "you've got to admit that for Dawson, considering who you and I are, considering our delicate world balance, that can be classed as a monumental under reaction!' I admit. 'And yeah maybe I was expecting a little more considering the way he used to talk about us!'

'To be honest so was I,' Pacey admits in return.

'Well let me tell you, I am very relieved. To know we can go back to school and things can continue between you and I without anyone putting a nasty taste to it, well that's nice,' I tell him pressing my nose to his.

'That it is missy,' he agrees and a rush of heat takes over my body just from the low growl of his words.

'Pacey,' I step back for a second.

'What's worrying you?' he cups my face in his hand and looks me right in the eye. I love it when he does that.

'You did think that, well that...I don't know, that Dawson was being sincere?' I struggle to explain.

'I think he was hurt more than he showed, but he was doing his best to be grown-up and reasonable about it all. I think he was ok, but I think it was a little unexpected.'

'Well that's ok then,' I smile engagingly.

'What is?' Pacey frowns slightly.

'Well he should be a _little_ upset with his soul mate and best friend being together, that's only right,' I grin and Pacey just laughs,

'You're a bad little lady Miss Potter, you know,' he chides before kissing me until every thought is driven from my head except for the thrill of having his lips pressed to mine and his hands explore my body.

* * *

I stroll into school the next day feeling kind of happy. Pacey wanted to pick me up but he overslept and I got the most adorable sleepy boy on the phone this morning. I pretended to be cross of course and he was all apologetic and loving, and sleepy and so I crumbled and told him how cute he is. That damn boy.

'Hello Joey,' Dawson's voice surprises me. Having spent the whole summer with Jen, Jack and Pacey, they were who I was looking out for.

'Hello Dawson,' I give him a bright smile feeling very cheerful.

'You're looking nice today,' he says surprising me with the compliment. I look down at the skirt and top and shrug. It's still warm enough for pretty clothes I guess. I frown slightly though because well it just feels strange to be complimented by Dawson who is a little self-involved, or typically has been with me.

'Thanks,' I say at length.

'So where's Pacey?' he asks.

'He overslept, you know,' I smile.

'But you made it on time,' he observes.

'Well I had work at the marina, then headed home to shower and change. It's hard to be late,' I begin to unlock my locker.

'Yeah, Bessie was telling me about how you've been supporting your family. I'm sorry its been so hard Joey,' he gives me a gentle smile and the last of the anger I felt towards him completely dissipates.

'It's all in the past Dawson. Lets not worry about it,' I say feeling embarrassed. I don't want to talk about it and especially not in school.

'You've got the B&B to work towards now,' Dawson adds.

'Thanks to Pacey', I turn and smile at Dawson.

'Yeah, so I heard,' again that flicker of something across Dawson's face.

'The plans are great, huh?'

'Joey,' Dawson begins and then pauses, 'put your books on the floor and shut your locker,' he finishes. It's a rather odd request and I do as demanded because of the curse. I have to wonder why he'd make such an odd request.

'Why?' I ask him all blasé as I turn back to him.

'Kiss me,' he says and then I'm leaning in and kissing his cheek. Luckily he didn't specify what kind of kiss and I make it a very quick peck. I get an awful feeling of stomach churning dread in the pit of my stomach. This has everything to do with the curse.

'Dawson,' I protest because he has this really scary look on his face, one I don't recognize and I've known Dawson a long, long time.

'No. Kiss me properly Joey, kiss me like you kiss Pacey,' he says and in the instant between his demand and my lips crashing down on his I realise that Dawson knows about the curse. Tears flood my eyes but I keep kissing him, aware of Dawson's arms wrapping around me.

'What the hell?' Pacey's voice interrupts us and Dawson breaks the kiss. I look at Pacey and the tears in my eyes roll out in fat droplets and track down my face. He's furious, so furious he's shaking and he's clenching his fists. 'I asked you what the hell is going on?' his voice is dangerously low as he looks at me, somehow immune to my tears. But who can blame him. He saw me kissing Dawson. He must hate me. Pacey is shaking a lot now, and his eyes are glazed and he seems to be having trouble breathing. 'Joey, what's going on?' he says for the third time, this time his voice loud and clear.

'Tell him you and he are a mistake,' Dawson whispers softly in my ear and the tears continue to fall, my stomach churning so wildly I think I may mine sick. I always thought people over reacted when they said their hearts break but mine is breaking. I have never felt worse in my life. I hurt so badly and I'm so scared because I open my mouth, wanting to tell Pacey everything and the words come out,

'You and I are a mistake Pacey,' I shut my mouth and I realize I'm shaking as well, as the vibrant happiness I had turns to sadness and despair because I can see no way out. Pacey seems to crumple under my words.

'Tell him that you and I are together now. You realized when you saw me how much you love me,' Dawson whispers in my ear.

'Dawson and I we're together now,' I gasp, 'when I saw him I...I realized how...how much I love him,' the words are coming from me between the sobs that are racking achingly through my body. How could the world turn upside down like this so quickly. What happened to my perfect summer? What happened to my perfect life?

'Joey,' Pacey's voice beseeches, his pain so evident I can't look at him.

'Just go,' I plead before Dawson can make me say anything else to hurt him. Pacey turns to walk off but not before I see a tear from his eye snake a path down his cheek.

'It's ok Joey, it's ok. You'll see this is right in the end. You'll remember what you and I can be,' Dawson wraps his arms around me as if he's a friend comforting me. 'I'm just looking after you because he'll only hurt you in the end.' I push him away. 'Let me hold you Joey,' he orders softly, as if it isn't an order. I let him. 'You'll see that soul mates belong together Joey. I know you're unhappy now but you'll see. I can make you happy. And he can't. You might think you want him but Joey, he's all wrong for you.'

'I hate you,' the words come from somewhere deep inside of me and I can't believe how much I mean it at this moment.

'Joey, I know you love me somewhere. I'm doing this for you. You and Pacey are different and he'll only hold you back, whereas you and I - our dreams are connected, they're on the same path.'

'No Dawson,' I am furious with him, even though I'm forced to allow his arms around me.

'It'll be ok Joey,' he says again. 'I'm sorry for hurting you but I do love you and I know somewhere inside you really love me. I could see yesterday that you were disappointed that I didn't react more. You wanted me to fight for you didn't you? Well this is me fighting for you?' he kisses the top of my head.

I don't know what to say because part of me had wanted him to fight for me. I felt like his words in the past had been meaningless because he didn't react, but yesterdays under reaction was so much better than this. Dawson has ruined everything.

'I hate you,' I say again. It has always been my biggest fear that someone would discover the curse and use it against me like this. I never thought it would be a friend. All I want is to be with Pacey and have him hold me and make this all better.

'Don't say that Joey,' he tells me.

'I really dislike you,' I say instead.

'Tell me you love me Joey, because I know you do,' he says rubbing my back as if soothing a small child with a bruised knee.

'I love you Dawson,' the words come from me unwillingly and without sentiment. I hate Dawson Leery. I hate him.


	12. Chapter 12

**I do apologize for evil Dawson. I hope you get that he's just driven by his desire to control the situation. He gave Joey ultimatums in the show and you only do that if you're desperate and sure of the result. He thought she'd want him and wouldn't allow her both...this just takes it a step further lol.**

 **Thank you for the reviews - I love, love, love them! And you guys. Please keep reviewing:-)**

 **Tabs**

 **Chapter 12**

I feel as though I'm loosing everything. In a matter of twenty-four hours everything has changed and my life has become this horrific mess. Dawson was in my first classes and has stuck to me like glue. I haven't seen Jen, Jack or Pacey. All I can think about is Pacey and what he must be going through, what he must be thinking and how I can get out of this.

I wish I could see him without Dawson and explain. I've never told anyone about the curse but I want to tell Pacey. I want him to understand. I feel so unhappy, and also so furious. The sight of Dawson makes me want to hurl, and this red hot rage burns in my belly. I want to thump him, shake him, shout at him but he ordered me to be good. The fucking asshole. In all my life I never thought that Dawson would use the curse against me.

I'm sitting in history with my arms crossed and what must be a hellish expression because Mr Philips asks me if I'm ok.

'Not really,' I growl glaring at Dawson.

'Try and keep your personal life out of the classroom,' he warns and I am seething even more.

* * *

Finally it's lunch and I'm hoping I'll see Pacey or even Jack and Jen. I need someone to help me escape. As we enter the lunch room Dawson turns to me,

'Ok Joey - you must smile, tell anyone who asks you anything that you're fine and actually look like that's true,' he says and under his command my frown relaxes and I uncross my arms and a smile creeps onto my face. In a panic I realize he must have read my mom's letter but I don't know how. He knows I only obey the last command given and somehow he's fitting more than one command in each demand.

We walk into the lunchroom and head for the lunch line. When we have our food we sit at a table. I know I'm smiling and looking as though all is fine but inside I'm in pieces. I don't think I've ever felt like this. My whole body is revolting against what Dawson has me doing. I'm totally out of control.

'What the fuck have you done Joey?' Jen comes storming up to our table and totally ignores Dawson. Her eyes are wide in disbelief as they bore into me.

'I'm fine,' I say.

'I didn't ask if you were ok, I asked what the fuck you've done? I'll tell you who isn't ok Joey. Pacey,' she stares at me waiting for me to say something. 'Have you got any idea what's going on with him right now? How devastated and confused he is?'

'I'm fine,' I say because that's all I can say thanks to Dawson. Jens eyes narrow but I look completely nonplussed thanks to Dawson and so I can't even plead with my eyes for her to understand.

'What's wrong with you Joey?' she asks looking at me, her eyes narrowed in thought.

'I'm fine,' I say dumbly.

'Dawson?' she turns to look at him.

'She said she's fine Jen,' Dawson shrugs. 'How are you? How was your summer?'

'You two disgust me. I thought more of you after the summer Joey but this is really low,' she shakes her head looking mildly bemused and walks away.

* * *

'So you're actually letting me go home?' I ask stiffly at the end of the day after Dawson has said he's off home.

'You are a free agent Joey,' he looks at me as if I'm crazy and I wonder if he's lost the plot or simply deluded and actually does think he's doing what is best for me.

'Then why are you controlling me like this?'

'It's for the best in the end you'll see,' he squeezes my arm and I wince at the contact.

'I doubt it,' I growl.

'Go home, do your homework, ignore Pacey, Jen or Jack and don't tell Bessie about any of this. I'll be over to see you after dinner,' he says with a smile and leans forward to kiss me goodbye but I dodge out the way and my hand automatically slaps him. He lets me get away with it and walks away. I see Jack watching us, a strange expression on his face but as he shouts my name I ignore him as told and hurry away.

I walk home as quickly as I can and burst in hoping against hope that Bessie will be there. She had a meeting at the bank and said she'd be late but maybe.

She isn't there and so I slump onto the couch and immediately begin my homework. My heart isn't in it but I have to keep at it because of the curse. Finally my work is done and I can stop. This gives me an opportunity to look for my letter.

I quickly look for my locked box but I when I pull it from under the couch I realize it's not locked. Of course I was looking at the letter a couple of nights ago and when Pacey turned up at my window I stuffed it into my diary. I can't believe I forgot to lock it up. I feel so stupid. I know better. It doesn't surprise me that Dawson would read it, he's read my diary before after all. This is so messed up. The phone shrills so suddenly that my heart starts to hammer furiously.

'Hello?' I answer it cautiously.

'Look Joey,' Jen begins but I automatically hang up. Damn Dawson.

The phone begins to ring again.

'Hello?' I answer it quickly.

'I saw you earlier Joey,' Jack begins and I hang up. Damn it.

Before Bessie comes home Dawson turns up. He brings films and sticks on _ET_ \- apparently so we can bond. I sit as far away from him as I can but he tells me to sit near to him and so I do. I just glare at him however,

'I know how you know Dawson,' I say sullenly.

'Well your diary was just there,' he begins looking slightly guilty. 'I've missed you this summer, and I just wanted to know what you'd been up to.'

'I thought we'd discussed privacy previously,' I say stonily, feeling acid in my veins.

'We had but...I... well I just wanted to catch up on your summer like I said. You can forgive me, right?' he gives what I assume he thinks is puppy dog eyes. 'Bessie popped out and I couldn't help myself?..I'm weak I guess,' he lowers his eyes looking like he really does feel bad.

'Yeah you are weak. Pacey would never do something like this,' I try to hurt him.

'Maybe that's true, but then again perhaps he doesn't love you like I love you,' he looks at me with large eyes.

'He loves me enough to know that for love to be true it has to be given willingly.'

'I give my love willingly,' he says gallantly.

'But I don't give any love to you and I am not with you of my own free will,' I shout with tears of frustration and panic.

'But you will be,' he says soothingly. 'Joey I know you better than anyone - you need to trust me.'

'I will never, ever trust you again,' I press my eyes into my fists, my voice hard.

'Joey calm down,' he orders and I instantly calm but I jump up from my seat and away from him.

'Fine, I'm calm,' I say. 'Is this what you want?' I ask quietly. 'A passive girl who'll do what ever you tell them to? Someone to be submissive to you?'

'I want you Joey,' he says. 'Don't you get that. Why do this? Do you love him, is that what you think? Do you just want to sleep with him? Maybe you were just trying to punish me.'

'I want Pacey,' I admit still speaking calmly. 'This isn't about you. It's about him and yes I love him. You should know that. You may keep me away from him, but the truth is I want him not you.'

'Joey I want to look after you, I want to make you happy and I think that this is for the best,' he says. 'You always say you and I are so complicated, well that's only because you made it that way. Now it's not complicated anymore.'

'You're deluded,' I say back.

'I'm not deluded, this isn't about delusion. You can't have him as your boyfriend and me as a consolation prize, you just can't. You know, you and him would ruin everything, everything you and I could have together...' he trails off and my heart leaps as I hear Bessie at the door.

'Tell her nothing and act and say everything is great,' he says quickly, and I wonder how he can order me around so fluidly, as if we weren't best friends.

'Hey Joey,' Bessie bustles in and I turn to help her with shopping. 'And Dawson, how are you?' she grins at him.

'I'm good Bessie,' he helps her with her bags.

'You guys having a night catching up?' she smiles.

'Yeah,' Dawson nods, 'the summer can be a long time.'

'And where's Pace?' Bessie asks me.

'At home,' I shrug and I must seem like all is great because Bessie merely takes Alexander to bed.

Finally I close the door behind Dawson and shoot Bessie a thankful smile for she told him it was time to make a move. On parting he told me to act happy and say everything is fine. There's a knock at the door and when I open it and Pacey is stood there. He looks wrecked and my heart plummets although the smile Dawson told to exist is still on my face.

'Kind of late Pace,' Bessie frowns slightly, but softens at the sight of him. 'You ok?'

'Mind if I have a word with Joey?' he asks and his voice cracks with emotion as he looks at us both.

'No that's ok,' Bessie steps back and moves to the kitchen so Pacey and I can talk in the lounge. She's in the kitchen so I know she can hear us.

'Are you ok Joey?' Pacey asks but he won't meet my eyes, the pain in his unbearable.

'I'm fine,' I tell him cheerfully.

'Only Jack said he saw you slap Dawson and well... it just seems kind of strange,' he says and I say nothing. My hearts breaking but I must have this stupid smile on my face. Pacey doesn't have a clue that I feel so bad and all I can see is how much I've broken him.

'You can talk to me Joey. I don't hate you - I could never ever hate you... I just don't understand. Yesterday you tell me you love me after...well after the best summer of my life and today you're kissing Dawson and telling me it's over. I think I deserve some kind of explanation don't you?'

'It's all fine,' I say helplessly and Bessie wonders over.

'Joey,' she says cutting right into our conversation. I turn to look at her with an inane smile on my face. 'Pacey sit down,' she orders and he ventures to the couch looking back at me with uncertainty. 'Tell me what's going on Joey,' she hisses in my ear.

'You left Dawson alone and he found the letter mom wrote about the curse in my diary. I didn't lock it up because Pacey turned up and now Dawson knows and he told me to end it with Pacey and everything and...' I begin to cry in earnest.

'Oh Joey,' Bessie hugs me tightly whilst Pacey looks at us confused.

'Pacey,' I say to him, my voice beseeching him, now that I'm no longer under Dawson's demands.

'What's the matter Joey?' he asks at my tears but there's a detachment between us put there by the hurt I've inflicted and his confusion. He's not looking at me but at the floor, and his shoulders are hunched defensively.

'Everything,' I let Bessie lead me to the chair opposite him and I sit. She perches on the arm beside me.

'I don't understand,' he shakes his head and I catch a glimpse of the anger and resentment he feels for me.

'It's complicated,' I begin shooting a nervous look at Bessie.

'Excuse me if I'm being a little sceptical here Joey. You totally destroyed me today and with Dawson! You know I should have known better, I should have known that when he came back it would change everything.'

'Don't be so defeatist,' I say without thinking, I hate the unhappiness surrounding him.

'Don't tell me what to feel. You lost the right to anything about me when you decided to kiss Dawson in the hallway without even talking to me,' Paceys words are punctuated with venom as he jumps to his feet and starts pacing.

'It wasn't my fault,' I attempt.

'What, your lips just accidentally fell against his? How stupid do you think I am? You know, I don't even know why I came here.'

'Because it was weird?' I ask and he looks at me. Finally our eyes meet and he nods reluctantly. 'Because Jack saw me slap Dawson?' I ask and he nods again. 'Because Jen said something didn't seem right?' he nods again. 'Because you do love me?' I ask and after the longest pause he nods again.

'Please tell me what's going on? Are you and Dawson really together?' he runs his hands through his hair clearly exasperated.

'No,' I shake my head.

'And do you think we were a mistake?' he asks his voice cracking.

'No, I god Pacey no,' I can't take my eyes from his brooding figure.

'So what?'

'Can I tell him Bess?' I look at my sister and she nods her silent approval.

'Tell me what?' he's still striding up and down.

'I wasn't acting of my own free will Pace,' I say, my tears drying. Its important I get this right.

'What?' he frowns in confusion, looking at me as if I'm speaking a foreign language.

'Sit down please,' I say and he eventually sits on the couch, his long legs stretched out in front of him. 'Pace have you ever noticed anything strange about me?' I ask and he gives me a blank look, 'you know when you dare me, when you tell me to do something, have you ever noticed anything strange in how I behave?'

'Well for a feisty girl you always do as you're told,' he shrugs uncertainly. 'Is that what you mean? Because I figured you couldn't let a dare go unanswered, if you know what I mean,' he looks at me and then Bessie and then back at me.

'Yeah that's what I mean. You know the dive of death - you told me to do it, jokingly, but you told me. When you guys tell me to get the drinks, when you told me to tell you how I feel - you remember how I just did it?'

'What are you getting at here Jo?'

'I know this sounds like something from a fairytale but it's the absolutely truth. As a child I was cursed.'

'Cursed?' he interrupts scoffing, and with a sceptical scowl, rolls his eyes in disbelief.

'Yeah I know it sounds crazy, but you were there Pace. We were kids and my mom was looking after us. This fortune teller, well she cursed me with obedience. I'll do whatever I'm told,' I say and he stares at me for a long moment, then he chuckles bitterly.

'That's a good one Jo but really what kind of fool do you take me for?' he looks stunned,

'I don't take you for any kind of fool,' I say feeling my heart racing as I realize he doesn't believe me.

'Then how about you stop feeding me some bull shit story and tell me why you kissed Dawson,' he growls.

'Because he told me to,' I say instantly at his request.

'For fucks sake,' he raises his hands in defeat.

'Pacey', Bessie frowns at his language.

'I'm sorry Bessie but I thought after everything, after this summer, I thought maybe I'd mean more than some cock and bull story,' his eyes are so sad as they lock onto mine.

'It's the truth,' I'm beginning to feel frustrated and panicked.

'The truth is you saw Dawson again and realized you wanted him and you're too weak to admit it,' he shouts.

'Pacey, she's telling you the truth,' Bessie says something at last to support me. Her interjection completely floors him. His mouth gapes open and he stares at us both.

'Look I don't know what kind of game you're both playing but I'm not Dawson - I inhabit the real world,' he heads to the door.

'Pacey wait,' I yell and he reluctantly turns and looks at me. 'Tell me to do anything. Tell me to juggle five apples, or tell me to balance a chair on my forehead. Tell me to drop dead and you'll realise just how real this curse is,' I'm crying.

'Don't tell her to drop dead,' Bessie rushes to say. Its been our biggest fear since we discovered the curse.

'Fine,' he runs a tired hand over his eyes, 'Joey juggle five apples,' he orders and in an instant I retrieve five apples from the fruit bowl and they're flying in the air. He whistles clearly surprised.

'Never wonder how I can dance one day and not the next?' I ask as I juggle, how I can make the dive of death and avoid every rock? I never got hurt because you told me not to!'

'Juggling apples doesn't prove anything. Maybe you've always known how,' he says sceptically but is still staring.

'Then tell me to do something else,' I say, still juggling but feeling desperate.

'Joey jump onto the kitchen sideboard in one movement as if you're cat woman,' he says in exasperation and in an instant my legs bend and then send me soaring onto the kitchen sideboard as if I were a comic character. Bessie claps as Pacey's jaw falls open. 'Joey jump off the sideboard and freeze in midair,' Pacey says and I do as he says, aware that I am completely frozen in the air as if I'm suspended by invisible ropes. Bessie used to do this to me all the time when we were kids before mom told us not to in case someone realized I was special.

Pacey circles around me.

'That was always my favourite trick of hers. Of course I also liked, Joey fly to my room and get my address book off my desk,' Bessie says and I'm soaring through the air to her room returning a moment later with her address book. Pacey is slumped on the couch staring in a kind of dumbfounded manner. Without a word I reach for the box where I relocked my letter earlier and unlocking it I hand it to Pacey who silently reads it.

I watch him closely as his eyes follow my mom's words but his face is unreadable. Finally he lowers the pages and in an instant I'm in his arms and he's holding me so tight I can hardly breathe.

'This is fucking insane,' he whispers in my ear.

'Language Pace,' Bessie says again.

'Sorry Bess,' he manages the first smile of the evening.

'Dawson found the letter when he was waiting here last night. I guess he read about you and I getting together this summer in my diary. I can't believe how malicious he's being,' I say.

'So he just told you to kiss him?' Pacey asks and I nod.

'Then, when you arrived, he told me to tell you...well what I said,' I explain.

'I wondered what he was muttering in your ear,' Paceys arm is securely around me as he sits, clearly thinking, the closeness between us has been restored and I'm relieved.

'The thing is Pace, if he gets me alone he can make me do anything he wants,' I say feeling scared. 'Elope, sleep with him...' I give examples and Pacey visibly tenses.

'We need a plan,' he says at length, 'and a team because whatever happens, he can't get you alone.'

* * *

Jen, Jack and Grams are sat staring at me as if I'm completely crazy. I've explained about the curse and what happened with Dawson, but it's quite clear that they're waiting for the punch line to some bizarre joke.

'Come on Jo,' Jack rolls his eyes.

'You can just say you had a bad day,' Jen agrees looking at Pacey uncertainly.

'Well of all the blasphemous things you young people can come up with, to talk of this witch craft as an excuse for your misdeeds,' Grams is frowning.

'Ok guys,' Pacey takes control. 'Want to see something cool?' he asks and they nod uncertainly. 'Joey touch your nose,' he says and I instantly do so.

'Do we need to go over our definition of cool again?' Jen looks at Pacey.

'Patience Lindley. Joey jump up in the air and touch the ceiling,' Pacey says. I do so with ease.

'She's tall,' Jack points out.

'They want the big guns,' Pacey looks at me with such a tender look I actually begin to enjoy him bossing me about. 'Ok Joey jump up and freeze in midair,' he orders and I do so until I'm suspended on my invisible bonds watching Jack, Jen and Grams gape with mouths wide open.

We have our team.


	13. Chapter 13

**Please review if you like a chapter, or just to give me some virtual moral support! I really appreciate it! Thanks to those who did!**

 **Chapter 13**

There's a tap at my window and I know that it's Pacey - it's always Pacey.

'You just left,' I complain without true complaint. I am unable to keep the smile from my face as he shrugs easily and clambers in the window.

'I missed you,' he says simply and pulls me close.

'You're turning soft Pace,' I tease.

'Not with you around,' he teases back suggestively making me blush. I'll never take for granted the effect I have on him - it's pretty intense and very mutual. But now of course things are different,

'Tell me something Pace, why is it you always use the window despite the fact that the door opens straight onto the lounge - you know, my bedroom?'

'It just seems more appropriate to climb through the window when I'm creeping in,' he grins, pulling me against him.

'The summer really is over,' I sigh realising that the hedonistic days of the summer are really at an end. Not only has Dawson turned out to be someone I really don't want to know but work on the B&B begins soon. Pacey presses his forehead to mine.

'It sure is,' he agrees.

'But we're not,' I add smiling slightly as I think of our group meeting earlier. 'Over that is,' I clarify.

'You know what Potter?' he asks with a slight chuckle as he plonks himself on my pullout bed casusally and pats the space beside him.

'What?'

'I didn't realise this was a fairytale but you know I should have,' I sit down and eye him warily, his tone is far too jovial for my liking when this is all so serious.

'What do you mean you should have known?' I ask.

'Well, you wanna know something Potter? You're not a normal girl...now don't arch that angry brow at me, calm yourself,' he grins amiably as I give in a haughty look. What girl likes to be told she isn't normal? 'You've always been magic and this curse of yours, it just confirms what I've always thought...'

'And what's that?' I glare but he's unconcerned,

'That you are a fairytale ending.'

'Stop talking in riddles Pace,' _now_ I'm frowning.

'Joey, you've always been this special girl to me - the one who was brave, the one who was feisty, the one who was weird, the one who'd do anything...'

'And now you know it was just the curse,' I sigh feeling somehow like I've let him down.

'Good God woman no. I'm under no illusion - I don't care what this curse has made you do, you're still the most fearless, brave, courageous, wickedly cruel, criminally nice, sensitive, gorgeous girl in the world, and there ain't no curse responsible for that - you're the fairytale and the curse is the sidekick!' he grins and I just stare at him, before launching myself at him, kissing him with all my might.

'That has to be the nicest thing anyone has ever said,' I inform him between kisses.

'Let me stay tonight,' he whispers as the snap, crackle and pop ignites between us as I end up lying on top of him, his tone suddenly serious.

'Ok,' I say, and even though it's an order I want him to stay.

'You know I've been thinking about this curse of yours,' he says eyeing me up, his eyes boring through my clothing. 'I would hate to ever take advantage by mistake...'

'Pacey I know what you want and I want it too,' I say uncertainly despite the certainty of my words.

'You do?' he asks a little breathlessly.

'I want to be intimate with you but definitely not because of the curse,' I say quietly.

'Come here Jo,' he says and pulls me into his arms so my back is resting against his chest. He lowers his head and places a soft kiss on my neck. 'I would never, ever, use the curse to get what I want from you, and yes I do want to be intimate with you - what I was really thinking is that I could tell you to relax, to be yourself, to let go...'

'And I'd end up sleeping with you,' I smile at him, twisting my neck to meet his eyes.

'How's that?' he looks puzzled.

'Because if I were to relax and be myself that's exactly what would happen,' I say the words as the bolt of electricity charges between us.

'Really?' a slow smile spreads across his face.

'Yeah.'

'So why can't I do that again?' he's teasing.

'Because I'm not having my sister walk in on me the first time I have sex,' I explain watching his eyes widen.

'But you would have sex with me?' he asks now grinning broadly.

'I might,' I twitch my nose and kiss him, and my body sighs in relief as the chemicals of him mix with the chemicals of me.

* * *

I wake with a start in the morning. Pacey's warm breath is whistling past my ear as I lye nestled in his arms. Standing in front of me I see Bessie with her face set in a grim expression,

'Up you two,' she shouts unsympathetically. Pacey's eyes flutter open and he practically jumps six feet in the air. Before I even know what's what were both out of bed and standing looking bashful. 'You,' she points at Pacey, 'get in the shower and you,' she points at me, 'it's time we have a talk.'

'Sure Bes,' Pacey almost bows and ducks out of the room, leaving me to a fate I am not looking forward to - Bessie mad.

'You know Joey, if you were going to sleep with Pacey you could at least have spoken to me. Doing it in our lounge when your impressionable nephew - my son - might walk in I thought you knew better!' she's clearly pissed as she's storming around the kitchen clattering plates and pans, Alexander on her hip.

'I would talk to you Bessie,' I state but she's not listening.

'Aren't you worried about pregnancy? Sexually transmitted infections? What about respect for me? Joey I know you and Pacey have gotten close, I know about your late night talks on the dock and I know about your heated make out sessions but thinking you're ready for sex and actually being ready...' she's just going on and on and I feel myself getting angrier and angrier.

'Bessie - Pacey and I aren't having sex. We want to but out of respect to you and the fact that I'm not ready, the fact that my room is a public place, we decided to wait. He was a little traumatised after yesterdays revelation and he came here to be with me... you know to be close after finding out that I inhabit the supernatural world,' I fume.

'It's not a supernatural world Joey,' Bessie attempts.

'Yes it is. It's a weird world where I can do just about anything but what I want because someone can kill me with the words drop dead Joey. I want to be free of this. Yesterday Pacey was introduced to the harsh reality of the fact that there is no harsh reality!'

'Wait, you're not having sex?' Bessie suddenly realizes what I said, missing the bigger point.

'No we're not, but I do love him and one day we will,' I say.

'Now Joey...' Bessie begins.

'We'll do it respectfully, safely and when were ready but as much as you want it I can't remain a little girl forever. I just can't. I'm sorry,' a sudden and unexpected rush of guilt cascades over me. I know it's not my fault but somehow growing up means losing something that makes my stomach twist with an inexplicable sadness. Bessie puts a hand on my back and rubs it gently,

'Joey - I'm proud of you. You're an amazing girl and you should be happy. I'm sorry I put so much stock in fate and destiny that perhaps led you to feel Dawson was your future. The future is yours to choose and nothing is predetermined. I love you Joey,' she says and suddenly we're hugging in an embarrassingly soppy show of emotion.

'Same here,' I say, the words I love you, so recently said to Pacey, still foreign to my tongue when I'm with my sister.

'You love him don't you?' she asks and I just nod because I still feel shy about admitting it. I busy myself laying the table as Pacey exits the bathroom, looking all cute and nervous. I give him a quick smile and head for the bathroom. I figure he deserves a serve from Bessie after abandoning me so quickly for the bathroom.

* * *

'You're a cruel woman,' Pacey growls under his breath.

'Whatever do you mean?' I take a slurp at my coffee nonchalantly.

'Don't play innocent Potter - you knew your sister was planning on laying into me,' he glares, unable to hide his general good humour.

'And she laid into you real bad,' I mutter sarcastically, 'the _I really appreciate what youve done for the family and my sister_ speech at the end of her, _if you have sex with my sister before she's ready_ speech, was a real killer,' I grin as he chuckles and bites into a pancake.

A knock at the door puts everyone on edge and when Bessie opens it Dawson is stood there. His face registers surprise at Pacey's presence and his jaw drops slightly, before his mouth is set in a thin line and something akin to fury rests on his brow.

Dawson is staring at me with a murderous look in his eye in fact I dont think I've ever seen him this angry. Or maybe it's not anger but fear - I can't actually tell the different, only that he looks scary.

'What are you doing Joey?' he says in an oddly strained voice.

'Having breakfast Dawson,' I reply as calmly as I can. Pacey squeezes my hand. 'Would you like to join us?'

'Sure if that's ok with Bessie,' he looks between Pacey, Bessie and I uncertainly, his features twisting unattractively as he struggles to remain calm.

We decided to act as though everything was normal in an attempt to confuse him, or to wrong foot him I guess. The thing is we're all confused. This person acting so badly is Dawson, my best friend, Pacey's best friend, long time irritant of Bessie. I asked people to act normal so they could catch him and his attempts to control me. At the end of the day someone can't be with me all of the time and if he wants to abuse the power the curse gives him over me then we need to do our best to bring him on side. That's our only choice or I have to live with a babysitter. I can't live my life in fear and especially not because of Dawson.

'So how are you D?' Pacey asks as casually as he can.

'Did I miss something here or did you spend the night?' Dawson asks with only the slightest tell-tale sign of tension becoming obvious in his voice.

'I fell asleep,' Pacey shrugs and then grins easily, allowing a far weightier implication to hang in the air. Dawson looks at Bessie awaiting her outburst but my beloved sister just smiles at Pacey,

'Pacey's spent a lot of time here this summer - him staying over is a frequent event! I don't even hear his snoring anymore.'

'That's because he doesn't snore,' I chide, letting Dawson know I'd know. Bessie gives me her best eye roll,

'You know we start work on the B&B next week?' Bessie asks.

'So I heard,' Dawson bites into a pancake.

'He's going to be our onsite handy-man until the B&B is up and running,' I explain.

'Onsite, meaning?' Dawson pushes his pancake around his plate and gives us a dark look.

'I get some freedom from the Witter House of Hell,' Pacey leans back in his chair apparently uber relaxed. There is a long pause and Dawson looks like he's about to explode,

'Is everybody just forgetting the events of yesterday?' he asks, his irritation now obvious.

'Yeah, Joey and I spoke D, and she says she was confused about you coming home and I forgave her. I love her and I get it,' Pacey says and looks at me. God, I love that boy.

'You love her?' Dawson spits out the sip of coffee he had just taken.

'Yeah dude, I love her,' Pacey leans over and kisses my cheek.

'Joey tell him how you really feel,' Dawson gawps and I feel sad for him. He thinks that deep down I really feel that he is the one for me not Pacey.

'I love you Pacey,' I say easily.

'That's not what I meant,' Dawson's face clouds over and he reminds me of the little boy who would strop when he didn't get his way. This is perhaps just a monumental tantrum.

'But it is how I feel,' I say.

'Joey come with me now,' Dawson says standing up abruptly. I stand up quickly and begin to follow him.

'Chill out here with me Jo, we've got a while until school,' Pacey says calmly and I begin to return to my seat.

'Joey come with me now I need to talk to you,' Dawson states glaring at Pacey and I'm heading back to Dawson, my body twisting uncomfortably.

'Dawson, Joey needs to finish her breakfast, sit down and eat little sis,' Bessie says giving Alexander a kiss as she feeds him oatmeal. With another painful twist I'm back at the table. I look at Dawson who is floundering in his own frustration.

'It wasn't supposed to be like this,' he mutters darkly before storming off.

* * *

The phone just seems to be ringing and ringing and I'm about to give up when he answers the phone.

'Hello?'

'Hi Dawson it's Joey, now don't say anything. We're picking you up in five minutes so don't go anywhere,' I say quickly and hang up. Pacey squeezes my hand.

'Are you sure this is a good idea?' Jen asks.

'Next summer Bessie has given me permission to go look for the fortune teller who put the curse on me but until then I'm totally vulnerable. We need to show Dawson what we all mean to him. Include him, otherwise, well otherwise...'

'But he doesn't deserve it,' Jack mutters darkly and Pacey nods.

'Well then lets convince him into being a good boy,' I shrug and one after another they all nod. Grabbing our coats we head for the Witter Wagoneer and Dawson's house. A month living in fear of Dawson and having a constant entourage of bodyguards has been too long.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi All,**

 **Sorry I'm not getting this posted all that quickly - I'm feeling a little uninspired even though I'm just adding punctuation back in (it was lost for some reason) and changing the wording a little.**

 **Thanks for the reviews. I'd really like to do a final chapter in Reclamation but I'm finding it hard to find time, so I'll finish this one first.**

 **Please, please review and make a Dawson's Creek fan fiction writer smile:-) what better incentive!**

 **NB I didn't want to make Dawson any worse so I decided not to alter this chapter. I hope that it works for you all!**

 **Chapter 14**

'Tell me where were going Joey,' Dawson orders as soon as he gets in the car. It amazes me how quickly he's taken to ordering me about. Sure Jack's had his fun with spiders (they wiggle on your tongue let me tell you) and Jen enjoyed testing the theory that drinking lots of water and running up and down stairs makes you drunk, with me as her obedient guinea pig but none of them have used the curse for information or everyday life obedience like Dawson.

'Don't answer Joey,' Jen cuts in swiftly before I can answer his location query.

'Dawson consider this is a little lesson for you,' Jack mutters.

'Are you guys going to hurt me?' he asks and he seems so weak that I want to weep.

'What happened to you Dawson? What happened to my best friend? We want you to be happy. Why would we hurt you?' I ask the final question and the cogs begin to turn in his head as he struggles to answer it.

The rest of the drive passes in silence as Pacey and I battle for radio station dominance as normal.

'Where are we?' Dawson asks as the car pulls to a halt at our secret place. The leaves have turned amazing browns, reds and oranges with the Fall and in many ways the pool now has more charm than it did in the summer - it's somehow more magical.

'This is where we spent the summer,' Jen explains as Jack unloads the deckchairs.

Jack places all four chairs in their customary places and one by one we sit in them leaving Dawson standing. Pacey placed the stereo where it spent all summer but doesn't turn it on yet. Jen has pulled out cans of diet-coke and handed them to everyone except Dawson. None of this is rehearsed and that's the point.

'Diet?' Pacey and Jack complain in unison and Jen and I roll our eyes at the same time.

'Do you have any idea how much sugar is in coke?' I ask and the both make talkie talk gestures with their hands.

'And Jack, you know what youre like on a sugar high,' Jen teases as Jack's mouth falls open in offence. All the while Dawson is watching us on the outside of it all.

'You know what we need?' Pacey asks at length turning to me with a gleeful smile.

'What do we need baby?' I humour him because he's so damn cute.

'A bonfire!'

'Now that's not a bad idea,' Jen murmurs.

'It's a great idea.'

'We even have marshmallows,' I grin pulling a packet out of my bag.

'You're like a girl scout,' Pacey marvels.

'Dib dib,' I salute.

'Dib dib?' Jack stares at me with a blank expression.

'Dob dob?' I query uncertainly trying to remember why I'm saying what I'm saying.

'Is she ok?' Jen asks Pacey who puts a warm hand against my forehead.

'No fever,' he claims.

'You know, Ging gang goolie goolie wotsit gin gang goo,' I state unsure where this is all coming from.

'She's a freakin weirdo!' Pacey announces brightly.

'Last week she was a freakin' goddess,' Jack reminds him.

'She's still a freakin goddess, she's just a weird one,' Pacey leans forward and places a soft kiss on my neck.

'It's this thing, you know scouts or something, they sing it around camp fires,' I protest lamely as Pacey's kisses tilt my neck and my head flops to one side.

'She wants us to sing kumbyar!' Jen announces in horror, and I roll my eyes in frustration,

'Geez Joey, no offence, but I'm not singing that.'

'I give up,' I slink back in my chair as Jen and Jack catch each others eye and laugh at me.

'Kumbyar my friend kumbyar,' Jack sings (badly I might add).

'Jack,' I protest giggling but he's onto the next line.

'Sing Joey,' Pacey nudges me.

'Kumbyar my friend kumbyar,' I sing.

'No stop we need the fire first,' Jen interrupts laughing and we all drag ourselves from our chairs and seek out some firewood as Pacey gathers a few bricks together to make the space safe. The unspoken communication we all seem to operate under makes the job quick. We all ignore Dawson as we work around him. In truth I'd almost forgotten he was there.

Pacey lights the fire and as the flames begin to catch Jack begins again,

'Kumbyar my friend kumbyar.'

'Those aren't the words,' Jen protests, 'trust me, I know, Grams sings it often enough. It's Kumbyar, my lord kumbyar.'

'But we're not religious,' Pacey grins.

'Are you even sure kumbyar is the right word? Jack asks suddenly and we all look at him uncertainly. Suddenly feeling all kinds of warmth and adoration for my friends I burst into song,

'Ging gang goolie goolie wotsit ging gang goo ging gang goo!' I sing and Jack cracks first taking Jen and Pacey down, until they're all laughing helplessly.

'My little weird one,' Pacey ruffles my hair affectionately.

'Sing us a sweet song Jo,' Jen requests as the crackling fire seems to calm us and of course I begin to sing, my favourite Beatles song _In my Life._

As I finish singing I'm looking at Pacey. The song is poingnant as well as sweet. It's so evocative of just everything really.

Maybe Dawson is being an ass because he thinks I've forgotten or that he's been replaced. Maybe he's just being an ass because deep down he was always an ass. But I'll always have affection for him, I'll always remember what he did for me and what he meant to me, it's just I'll love Pacey more. And differently.

'Beautiful Jo,' Jack sighs.

'You sure know how to pick them,' Jen sniffs a little but I'm not really listening to them. I'm entranced by Paceys beautiful eyes as he looks at me. He loves me. It's the most intense feeling on earth to be loved by Pacey.

'Yeah me too,' I murmur before smiling and kissing him softly.

'Air guys,' Jack interupts our kisses several moments later.

'Yeah forgot about that,' Pacey mutters bashfully sneeking a quick indulgent look at me before tending to the fire. 'Joey get us some more drinks,' Pacey turns to me smirking broadly.

I push out of my deckchair with a loud huff.

'Some things never change - you call me the love of your life and I still have to get the drinks,' I mutter.

'He'll stop askin when you stop fetching,' Jen chuckles. We all know exactly why I'm doing as I'm doing. On my return to the deckchairs I look at Dawson who is sat on a rock watching us as if we are a theatrical performace and he is our audience. I wink at him and shake three of the diet cokes viciously before handing one to Jen, one to Jack and one to Pacey.

'Thanks Joey,' they all smile and pull on their tabs. The cans explode, sticky liquid soaking them all and making them jump out of their seats and squeal.

'Was I not supposed to shake them?' I ask innocently, 'Maybe you forgot to sepcifiy,' I shoot Pacey a death stare but he just pulls me to him pouring the remainder of his coke over me until were as sticky as each other.

'Pacey,' I yelp, but he just grins and licks the sticky liquid from my cheek.

'Don't give if you can't take,' he teases. 'Now anyone think Joey should be the first to clean off?' he asks Jack and Jen and before I know it I'm in Paceys arms, then in the air and then landing in the icy water with a screech.

'You cretin,' I yell but he's bent over laughing his ass off with Jen and Jack. I pretend not to notice that even Dawson is smirking.

* * *

Everybody is silent as Pacey drives us back to Capeside. I'm sat in the front with him, pressed up close to him, because at some point during the last four months I became addicted to him. After a couple of hours roasting marshmallows and drying off we decided to head home. Dawson's smirk soon left his face and for the entire car journey he's been staring out the window. I only know this because Jen tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to his sombre figure. He saw her do it but ignored us all. The plan to pull Dawson on side isn't exactly going to plan.

'See you tomorrow guys,' Pacey says as we pull up in front of Jens. Jack and Jen scramble out of the back of the car saying their goodbyes but Dawson doesn't move.

'We're at your house dude,' Pacey prompts. Dawson breathes in and out as if waging an internal battle.

'I'm going but I want to say this first,' he says in a very serious voice. 'Joey you can't be with him and have me as your friend. You can't be with him and...' his voice cracks and I feel this sudden well of emotion surge through me. I don't want to lose Dawson, at least the Dawson I grew up with. 'I just want you to know what you're giving up by being with him, think about what we had Joey, think about what we could be - it wasn't meant to be this way. If you choose him, you lose me.'

'You're making me choose?' my voice is scratchy from unshed tears.

'I can't do it, I can't be some consolation prize,' he says with glassy eyes, 'I know I was wrong but I panicked. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you. So now you're faced with losing me. You have to chose.'

'Don't make me choose,' I whisper, aware of the look that's just entered Pacey's eyes -betrayal. I'm betraying him by begging Dawson not to make me choose after everything he's done, and I'm betraying years of friendship with Dawson simply by loving Pacey. Silence fills the car and it gives me a moment to rationalize. Pacey, the boy that would do anything for me or Dawson, the boy that would make me do anything for him. What the hell has gotten into me that made me plead with Dawson?

'On second thoughts Dawson,' I begin and Pacey's clouded eyes look at me again. 'You can take your ultimatum and shove it up your ass. No matter how many times you ask me to choose, I'll choose Pacey every time. I want to be your friend, I want the Dawson I knew back, but no matter what happens between Pacey and I in the future, I can safely say that I will never ever get involved with you again. Never. What you did was unforgivable and I am willing to forgive it, but I certainly don't choose you.'

'But we're soul mates,' he bleats, but all I'm really aware of is the huge smile on Pacey's face.

'Clearly we're not,' I roll my eyes, 'now out you get so I can ravish my boyfriend.'

'Joey,' Dawson protests horrified, but I look pointedly at the door and after glaring at both of us he strops his way from the car. He'll have to get over it I figure, though I'm not sure I'm any safer from his curse related manipulation than I was this morning.

I look at Pacey and before I even know what I'm doing, I've thrown myself on top of him, bringing my lips to his for a kiss that makes my heart palpitate and my stomach explode.

'Good god woman, you're gorgeous,' he murmurs into my kisses and I feel this weird but extremely pleasant sensations between my legs. How does Pacey create such feelings in me? I'm beginning to think I'm the perverted walking hormone I always used to accuse him of being.

'Pace,' I can't seem to verbalize what I want to say. I just WANT him so much. Pacey's staring into my eyes as if he's trying to understand what I'm asking. 'Pace,' I say again.

'Tell me what you want Jo,' he whispers.

'You,' I say hoping he can see in my eyes what I mean.

'Joey,' his eyes have clouded over and I can see how much he wants me from the way his eyes seem to bore right through my clothes to my body and my soul. Suddenly I'm burning all over and desire surges through me.

'Take me somewhere,' I whisper. 'Anywhere.' He looks at me and sort of gulps and then moving so quickly he gets all clumsy, he starts the engine and turns around heading away from Dawsons and Jens. I don't ask him where were going because I don't care. I'm sitting next to him with this silly smile on my face that just won't go.

Finally we pull up and I look out the window, surprised at where we are. I look at Pacey but he just smiles cheekily and getting out of the car jogs around to open my door. I get out and he gets a blanket from the trunk of the car. Throwing the blanket over his shoulder he takes my hand, threading his fingers through mine and swinging our locked hands between us as he leads me across the school campus.

'Of all the places I imagined you bringing me, this wasn't even on the list,' I can't help smiling.

'It's a little corny but you'll get it soon,' he says mysteriously and I frown as I try to figure out what cryptic puzzle he's set for me. 'Come on,' he tugs and we head through the sports field, down past the bleachers until were behind the stadium. Grinning at me, but looking nervous he spreads the blanket out and gestures for me to sit. I sit down and he sits behind me so I can lean against him between his legs and can still be encased in his arms. 'Figured it out yet?' he asks kissing my cheek. The moonlight is bathing us and it's so peaceful, the smell of grass, and the nighttime air.

'I can't be on the ball tonight,' I shrug, not really caring anymore why he brought me here, only that I'm here with him.

'You're my brown eyed girl and really as such there's no where else to take you,' he explains with a shrug and a bashful smile.

'You're a Van Morrison fan?' I turn to him in surprise. Did I say I didn't care why he brought me here? I'm stupid. This boy is a born romantic and I _love_ why he brought me here.

'Van is the man,' he states simply resting his chin on my shoulder. We sit there for several minutes in a peaceful silence and I wonder if he remembers why we've come here. Maybe he didn't understand what I meant? I'm not sure I understand what I meant. I want him and _of course_ I know what I meant. I meant that I wanted to give all of myself to him because I love him. And I'm ready. But Pacey isn't doing anything and it makes me wonder if he doesn't want me that way? Maybe he's not ready?

I sigh really loudly.

'What's the matter Jo?' he asks concerned. I don't want him concerned - I want him to want me so much that he's beside himself.

'Nothing,' I sigh again. The moment is lost for me. When did I become this person? Joey Potter a year ago would have thought the best possible thing in the world would be to sit in the long grass, in the moonlight with her boyfriend saying nice things to her. But the Joey Potter of a year ago was going out with Dawson not Pacey, and the Joey Potter of today wants her boyfriend to throw her onto the blanket and do with her what he wants.

'Come on Jo,' he prompts, leaning around to look at me.

'Don't you want me?' I ask, pissed that I come out sounding as insecure as I feel.

'Joey, you know I want you,' he whispers.

'Then what's with you?' I turn to look at him, moving from my relaxed position leaning on him.

'I wasn't sure you were sure...' he stutters slightly.

'I'm sure,' I stare at him surprising even myself with how absolutely certain I sound.

'Joey if this is about...' he begins hesitantly.

'Pacey this isn't about anything except the fact that I love you. I want you and I need you. It's that simple. You've changed my world sweetheart. You've stood by me, you've loved me, you've given yourself to me and I want to give myself to you,' the words are flowing. I don't even need to think about them. He's my everything,

'I want this,' I say because he's looking at me so intensely, so passionately and before I know whats happened he's bridged the space between us and his lips are on mine with this electric pop of desire I'm sure we both feel. It's like there's a full blown electric storm between us as he rolls me over onto my back and lies on top of me. I moan, and I don't even mean to but it's as if my body has an on off switch that Pacey has switched on. I am so turned on. As Pacey slides his hand up my thigh and under the edge of my skirt my hands push off his shirt, desperate for his naked skin, as his expert fingers make my body beg for more. When he touches me he seems to know just what to do, just how to make all the nerve endings tingle and every cell vibrate with electric energy.

Lying in the green grass behind the stadium, with moon beams dancing all around us I'm right where I want to be for the rest of my life and I just don't care that I'm sixteen because it'll always be that I lost my virginity to Pacey. No matter what the future holds, what relationships may come my way, I will always have given Pacey, the sweetest, kindest, most generous boy on earth something that was important to me, something that hopefully makes him understand just how precious a human being he is.

'You're precious,' I breathe the words and Pacey kisses them fro. my lips.

'So are you,' he whispers.

 **p.s. Listen to Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl if you don't get why they're behind the stadium!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Nothing but a little post sex conversation about nothing much! Enjoy!**

 **Please, please review - and thank you hugely to those who already do - you're the reason I post!**

 **Thanks**

 **Chapter 15**

Ok, so I must have slept with a hanger in my mouth. I can't wipe the deliriously happy smile from my face. I'm helping Bessie clear our loved possessions out of the rooms where work on the B&B will be happening but all I can think about is Pacey and every time I think of him, my stomach swooshes to my toes and I get a million butterflies fluttering inside. And everything reminds me of him like the photo frame Bessie is wrapping up, the photo frame he gave me after my mom died with a picture of her in it.

'What is up with you Joey?' Bessie eyes me suspiciously.

'Nothing,' I state trying to sound grumpy as usual.

'Come on Jo, you're decidedly cheerful and no matter how hard you try you can't wipe that stupid goofy smile off your face,' Bessie gives me a look.

'I'm just in a good mood. I guess I got out on the right side of the bed this morning,' I shrug dismissively.

'Did something happen with Pacey?' Bessie is too damn perceptive.

'What do you mean?' I shake my head in what I hope is a baffled manner.

,Did you have sex with him Joey?' Bessie is staring at me, and apparently she can tell full well that I did.

'It felt right,' I defend.

'I'm sure it did, but sex isn't a simple thing...'

'Please Bessie don't give me a lecture - we were safe. Pacey's a responsible guy,' I plead with her, because my euphoria is so fantastic I can't bear to have it dampened. Bessie looks at me as if weighing up her options, and then she purses her lips and her eyes flash,

'From that silly love sick expression on your face I guess I don't have to ask if it was any good,' she mutters with a roll of her eyes.

'Bessie,' I flush embarrassed, but my smile grows.

'Well it's important Joey,' she insists. 'Lots of guys forget about the girl and...'

'Then rest assured that it was a very nice experience,' I'm so red right now.

'Nice?' Bessie arches a sceptical brow.

'I'm not having this conversation with you,' I protest.

'Did you use the word nice with Pacey? 'Cause I bet that went down real well,' my irritating sister informs me. I did use the word nice with Pacey and I explained its use. Sure, all the components of good sex were there, in my limited experience of course, but when he looked me in the eye and brushed the hair from my face I knew how much he loved me. It was nice. While the experience physically was incredible, emotionally it was very simply nice.

'I did and he understood,' I state and slump back on the couch. Bessie sinks into the seat beside me.

'You made a good choice,' she tells me and I try not to show her how surprised and pleased I am.

* * *

'Hey little girl,' Pacey drops to the dock beside me. I see my goofy smile mirrored all over his face and it just makes me smile more. We're like two dopy, love sick teenagers. No not _like_ two dopy, love-sick teenagers, _we are_ two dopy, lovesick teenagers.

'What are you doing here?' I ask planting a kiss on his lips. He grins and then peppers my face with little kisses.

'I'm horribly sick with this affliction where I can't be away from you,' he explains.

'Is that so?' god he's cute.

'Yep. So I'm afraid you're stuck with me,' he shrugs.

'That's too bad because Bessie filed the restraining order this morning,' I roll my eyes dismissively.

'What?' his face drains of colour.

'Bessie,' I repeat, amused by his reaction.

'Bessie knows?' his voice is hollow.

'She guessed,' I tell him easily.

' _Guessed_?' he squeaks.

'Yeah apparently I was _too_ cheerful.'

'You were too cheerful?' his tone has that cockiness so many boys can't get away with but somehow makes Pacey adorably attractive.

'Now don't get all cocky on me,' I admonish him.

'So when does this restraining order come into effect?' he asks, his lean frame supporting mine as I lean into the comfortable warmth of his body.

'I lodged an appeal and won,' I tease.

'You mean she didn't kill you?'

'No she tried to lecture me,' I pout.

'My poor girl,' he kisses my neck.

'I survived,' I tell him cheerfully, tilting my head so he can continue kissing my neck.

'But the thing is I might not,' he states in a low voice that's so sensual the hairs on my entire body are standing on end.

'Oh really?' I look over my shoulder and into his bright eyes.

'Yeah this affliction I was complaining about - well yo see too much time apart from you and what happens, well it's not pretty,' he explains.

'What happens?' I ask feeling giddy inside. I'm so in love with him.

'Well first I get all hot and bothered, and then I lose the ability to think clearly, or about anything other than you and then I get this strange sensation, kind of like insects...'

'Insects?' I interrupt with a chuckle.

'Yeah insects, crawling under my skin and in my stomach,' he rests his chin on my shoulder.

'That sounds bad,' I nod with what I hope is a sage expression.

'It's horrific,' he confirms.

'So the condition improves when you're around me?' I ask slyly. I completely concur with his feelings when we're apart but let me tell you, they're ten times worse when we're together.

'Ummm,' he hesitates. 'Not exactly.'

'Oh really?' I arch a brow at him.

'No. To be honest, they seem to intensify until my skin literally burns and, well, the thinking - that virtually becomes impossible. I can't think or focus on anything but you and being with you, and then when I look at you?' he stares at me all intense, 'well when I look at you I realise anew that you're the kind of pretty that gives me butterflies, and I'm not talking one or two, but hundreds and thousands.'

'So you're saying that I actually worsen your affliction?' I ask trying to look serious and not take delicious advantage of him because of what he just said.

'Er yeah,' he mumbles.

'Then you should probably leave,' I shrug easily.

'You're a cruel woman,' he tightens his hold of me.

"Anyone would think you like this horrific affliction,' I say in mock wonderment.

'You can say what you like but I ain't shifting,' he states.

'I think you might have to at least shift inside because dinner's about ready,' I tease.

'Ok frauline, but I'm keeping ahold of this hand,' he squeezes the hand of mine he's holding.

'As what? A comforter?' I tease.

'Yep,' he says easily.

'Ok then,' I nod and stand up pulling him up by our linked hands. He lets go of my hand long enough to wrap his arms around me and I tilt my head to meet his lips.

"Thank you for last night it was amazing,' he says. 'And I got you something.'

'You didn't need to get me anything', I blush.

'It's not much,' he shrugs uncertainly and hands me a little box of pink foiled chocolate hearts. 'I know, it's not much of an exchange, chocolate hearts for your virginity,' he mumbles.

'Thank you Pace,' I whisper knowing full well I'll probably still have those damn chocolate hearts when I'm grey and old.

'I love you Potter,' he whispers.

'I know,' I smile and his smile turns into a pout, as he lets me go, except for my hand and leads me to the house,

'Now Joey, we're going to have to practice appropriate responses to declarations of love,' he says in his cheerful voice. 'When I say I love you, you say you love me - lets try it. I love you,' he smiles at me.

'You love me,' I state obediently with a smirk. He turns amused eyes on me, just a hint of frustration.

'You...' he murmurs, 'now that's not what I meant. Lets go over this again, you love me...' he begins.

'No, you bug me,' I tease.


	16. Chapter 16

**Ok all,**

 **This is all going somewhere I promise. I hope the hint of negetivity isn't too foreboding - remember this was meant to be a generally happy fic... but it's not DC without a little angst right?**

 **Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming, please. Please.  
**  
 **Chapter 15**

 _1 Year later_

Today has a hint of fall to it. A most definite hint, though I wouldn't say it has fully fallen just yet. Stretching out in my bed I finally manage to drag myself from its warmth. Wondering through our successful B&B I see Pacey lying asleep on the couch. I take a moment to just look at him. He's so beautiful. I know it's a bit weird to call a man beautiful but he truly is.

I'm not entirely surprised to see him on the couch that used to be mine. He is often sleeping there. He would stay in my room if that wasn't forbidden. He usually sneaks into my room via the window, we're _intimate_ and then he crawls out onto the couch out of respect to Bessie. Except last night he told me he couldn't come over because he had a family meal so he must have snuck in late, after I was asleep. Seeing as he's sleeping on the couch I figuring that the meal didn't go well. Moving closer I can smell a faint aroma of alcohol. I wish he would talk to me, seek comfort in me, rather than turn against himself.

Lifting the edge of his blanket I crawl onto the couch next to him and he instantly wraps me in his warm embrace, nuzzling my neck with small kisses. My body relaxes instantly when next to his.

'You ok Pace?' I ask.

'I'm fine,' he is being dismissive I can always tell.

'Did dinner go ok?'

'It went fine I just wanted to see you when I woke up,' he insists capturing my lips with his. I sigh inside. Sometimes it feels like he's drifting away from me, which is strange because I know that most of the time we're closer than any other two humans I know. 'When I wake up to your face I know there's perfect order in the universe,' he smiles before kissing me again, and I melt. I always melt.

'You're a sweet talker,' I tease and he smiles.

'You're sweet,' he says simply and kisses me again.

'Pace, I thought we could head up to the pool tonight - you know get Jen and Jack, take some marshmallows...' I begin a moment later as I watch his storm cloudy eyes desire me. I love being desired by Pacey. I don't think any man will ever be able to make me feel like Pacey does when he looks at me like that.

'Sure Jo,' he smiles. 'Sounds good.' I wish he would let me in. He scares me when he's quiet like this.

Sitting around the campfire always makes me think of summers spent in love with Pacey - the summer we got together and the one that's just passed. Sometimes I cant believe we've been together so long, but when I look at him smiling at me softly I know deep down that it's no real surprise. Pacey is innately loveable and love him is just what I do. Jen and Jack are laughing in the firelight about fish tanks and the like. Pacey is very silent.

'You going to tell me what's up?' I ask and he sighs.

'Just thinking about how much is changing,' he says.

'What's changing?' I ask without really thinking about his response. I could kick myself.

'It's senior year you guys are all looking to the future whilst I continue to flunk...'

'Maybe if you studied a bit more,' I attempt optimistically but it's the wrong thing to say.

'Has it ever occurred to you that I'm not as smart as you? That I'm not as smart as you think I am? That maybe I am trying?'

'I'll help,' I say.

'And I don't want your help,' he snaps back and even Jen and Jack look up.

'You ok Pace?' Jen asks.

'I'm fine ok! I wish everyone would stop asking me that,' he shouts and pushing himself out of his deck chair heads into the darkness. I stare at Jen and Jack, surprise on their faces.

'Is he ok?' Jack asks.

'I don't know,' I answer honestly feeling tears prick at my eyes.

'I think I might know,' Jack says after a pause.

'Know what?' my head snaps up at his words.

'Jo, Dawson has been saying things to Pacey...'

'I know. Dawson always says things to Pacey,' I interrupt disappointed that Jack isn't more on the ball.

'No Jo you don't know. Things different to before and coming on top of the onslaught from home I think he's starting to believe it,' Jack shrugs uncomfortably.

'What sort of things?' I can't believe I don't know. Up until a month ago I know Pacey told me everything.

'Really mean things. He's been telling Pacey that everyone knows he isn't going to graduate. That Mr Witter asked Dawson to keep an eye on Pacey and stop him screwing up. Dawson has a tirade of things to say - that you'll wake up soon. That you're going somewhere Pacey isn't and Pace will only hold you back. That you'll leave him if he doesn't leave you. That you'll realise Dawson's success and want him...'

'Oh,' I don't know what to say. My mind still finds it difficult to cast Dawson as the villain even though I know that's what he is. I've even defended him to Pacey recently. 'Should I talk to him?' I feel helpless.

'No you can't. He doesn't want you to know. I think he feels that if you're told it's like planting the seeds of doubt.'

'Can I talk to you Joey?' Paceys voice is dark and comes from the shadows. It makes us all jump and Jack looks terrified, uncertain whether Pacey heard his confession to me or not. I nod and walk over to him. He takes my hand and kisses my cheek,

'I'm sorry,' he whispers in my ear.

'You don't need to be sorry,' I say desperate to let him know that who he is is ok with me. My words seem to frustrate him, but he wages an inner battle and simply wraps an arm around me.

'Joey,' he winks at me, 'it's a warm night. I think you should go for a spot of skinning dipping,' he gives me a smile a true Pacey smile.

'I'm not going skinny dipping Pace,' I protest.

'Oh I think you are,' he teases peppering my face with kisses. 'You're going skinny dipping with me.'

'But it's freezing,' I protest.

'Joey, go skinny dipping,' he orders and laughs as I begin to remove my clothes all the while glaring at him. With a big grin he strips of his clothes and follows me into the cool water. When I look back he's clearly having second thoughts because it's so cold and so I begin a water fight, until we're laughing so hard our sides hurt. And then his arms slide around me and his body presses against mine, his mouth seeking mine and all the concerns I had start to drift away, as I sense him relax.

* * *

'Hey sexy girl,' Pacey drops into the seat on the lunch table I am sharing with Jen and Jack.

'Hi Pacey,' Jen smirks. 'I'd avoid such familiarity when your girlfriend is sat right there!'

'Ha ha,' he gives her a sarcastic smile and returns to me, smiling and kissing me, clearly full of joy. Things have been better the last couple of months since the night at the pool. Pacey has seemed more like himself. I still wish he'd talk to me about what is bothering him, but I hope theres no need to talk about it anymore.

'So I was thinking,' Pacey whispers in my ear, you, me, the boiler room in like ten minutes?' I blush and then allow my lips to linger on his ear,

'You and me semi naked in the boiler room and you're on,' I say. The boiler room is somewhere we frequent a lot. Pacey breathes deeply then after a moment sits back with a grin.

'Now that's sorted who's up for a little experiment later?' he looks around at us and everyone smiles. Pacey is so magnetic when he's like this.

'What experiment?' I ask cautiously. 'If it involves you, me and Jen naked, the answers is no. Or you, me and Jack,' I add.

'Spoil sport,' he teases. 'And as much as I would like to say this is about fulfilling young Josephine's fantasies I'll do that in the boiler room and not in company,' he smirks as I turn red. Jen and Jack, the bastards, chuckle.

'I can safely say that I'm not taking part in any experiment you've derived without knowing what it is before hand,' I state.

'A guy tries to be mysterious,' he moans.

'This is you Pacey - the last time you experimented two snails ended up dead!'

'At least they died happy,' he quips.

'Just tell us Pacey,' Jen beseeches.

'Naha, you'll all have to be patient and see when we go to Joey's tonight - I promise there'll be no death and much to my disappointment no ménage et trois!'

'You're such a pervert,' I growl.

'Which you'll be enjoying when we're in the boiler room,' he shrugs with a grin.

'Sure,' I grin as he tucks into his lunch.

'So why my place?' I ask.

'Because, my little love, your place is empty tonight and Bessie asked us to watch the B&B,' he reminds me and then with an easy smile continues to eat 'Oh yeah and bring some Christmas cheer,' he adds with sandwich in his mouth. I roll my eyes.

* * *

Jen arrives first carrying a jug of eggnog.

'It's some Grams made and it promises to be very alcoholic,' she warns as she puts it on the table. 'Got any guests?'

'Nope it's too near Christmas,' I shrug.

'Any idea about Pacey's little experiment?' she asks flopping onto the couch next to me.

'No. He's being so mysterious. It may have something to do with this project hes been working on...'

'What project?' Jen twitches her nose.

'I don't know, another Witter mystery.'

'Ladies fear not the mystery shall be solved tonight,' he grins coming in with a thick folder and Jack who's carrying a plate of cookies. Jack stumbles slightly when Pacey stops unexpectedly but manages to retain the cookies on the plate. 'Joey come here a sec,' Pace requests and waggles a finger. Of course I immediately bound off the couch and to him. This still makes them all smirk. I scowl.

'What?' I ask a little huffily.

'Nothing sweetheart - I just wanted a kiss hello,' he grins and before I can protest he wraps his arms around me and kisses me deeply. 'Now sit down again,' he orders and slightly breathless I slide back into my seat.

'So unravel the big mystery Pace,' I say my heart still beating furiously from his kiss. He looks so excited and I can't think what it is.

'Well,' he begins hesitantly pulling the folder to him possessively. 'Iv'e been doing some research...'

'Check that's really Pacey,' I say to Jack out of habit. Pacey shoots me a glare and then grins again.

'On curses and stuff. All that I can find,' he says and pulls his bag to him and begins to take an assortment of items from it. This has surprised me. I thought Pacey was pretty much resigned to the fact that I'd always be cursed.

'Really?' I ask feeling unbelievably touched.

'Yeah,' he looks up and his eyes catch mine in a truly tender moment. 'And I found out all these different methods thought to be effective in breaking curses. I mean there is so much history in curses. Although I never would have believed hexing someone would work until I found out about you,' he smiles.

'Did you find any evidence of anyone like me?' I ask suddenly scared. Pacey has done the sweetest thing ever, but it's not something that we haven't tried before. I'm scared that if this doesn't work, and I fear that it won't, he'll be very upset.

'No, no one like you. I found that most curses are for sickness, death or poverty,' Pacey shrugs. 'But a curse is a curse and it's worth trying to remove it,' he says.

'Of course it is,' I say hurriedly.

'I also found a list on the internet of lots of different fortune tellers. Hundreds that travel the US and hundreds that don't work anymore,' he smiles hopefully. 'I picked tonight because during a waning moon is the best time to cast a curse and break one,' he says suddenly nervous.

'So where do we start?' Jen rubs her hands together in glee. Jack is also sitting forward on his seat.

'Ok first off Joey needs to lie on the coffee table,' Pacey says and I can tell it's going to be a long night.

* * *

After every attempt to remove the curse Pacey tests the success. And with every failed attempt his demeanour slumps slightly. But he won't be put off. He keeps going relentlessly, with Jen and Jack in a similar frame of mind. They burn candles, they chant, they make me chant, they burn my hair, they try counter cursing me. They press certain points on my body, make a potion that I am asked to drink. They order me again and again to obey no further orders. Finally Pacey holds a mirror up in front of my face for the final experiment but I can't take anymore. _Nothing works_.

'Enough,' I say dejectedly and he sombrely drops the mirror.

'Sorry Jo,' Jack murmurs and Jen agrees.

'You guys tried and I appreciate that,' I say trying to ignore Paceys crumpled disposition until Jen and Jack have gone. Finally they say goodbye and leave. Pacey is packing away his equipment his back rigid in stony silence.

'Hey,' I say softly, running my hand over his back. He doesn't say anything. 'Thank you for trying,' I say.

'I just couldn't succeed huh,' he scowls shoving the bag away.

'I don't care,' I say honestly.

'I want you to care,' he states back and I'm not sure what to do. There's that shifting dynamic between us again. The one from a couple of months ago, the one that scares me.

'I only care about you,' I say.

'Sure,' he mutters.

'That's the truth Pacey,' I feel myself getting angry.

'I know,' he growls. 'I know,' he stares at me, and whilst it should be a good thing that he knows, it doesn't feel like that.

'What do you want me to do?' I ask in frustration.

'Expect more,' he shouts mysteriously. Expect more? What's that supposed to mean? But I don't have a chance to ask because again the air between Pacey and I has changed again from nervous, frustration and angst to crackling electricity, and I don't even know why. My whole body seems to snap to attention and his eyes are dark and wanton. Despite his angry shout, he acts with love as he pulls me to him and kisses me long and hard. The kiss makes my knees buckle and he catches me, lowering me to the floor. Lying on the floor together, he makes love to me as if he might never see me, or touch me again. Every touch is so ardent, so purposeful, so full of appreciation and while I know I am his forever, it feels a little like he is saying goodbye.


	17. Chapter 17

**So apparently this is the last chapter - I'd thought there were two more, but this is it!**

 **Thanks for all the reviews and feedback - I so appreciate it! Please review and let me know what you think of the ending and the story in general - reviews feed writers...or something like that** **:-)**

 **Chapter 17**

Expect more. Pacey told me categorically to expect more. But I don't understand how can I expect more from a boy who gives me everything and makes me feel alive. It's impossible. Does he not understand how much I already rely on him? He thinks I don't care when he fails but I do, just not how he thinks. I care that he tries because that's what is important. But how can I care when he fails at a math test or an English assignment or even at breaking the curse when he succeeds in so many other areas?

Maybe he's worried that I see his weaknesses as things that will drive us apart. But I don't. We all have weaknesses and the one thing I feel certain of is that Pacey and I will stay together or if we fall apart, that we'll end up together eventually.

There is a knock at the door and it's Pacey. I see his shadow and recognise it immediately. I wonder why he doesn't just walk inside. He's always welcome and that's what he normally does. But then again it is Christmas morning and maybe he feels worried about intruding. I am surprised that I feel nervous about seeing him. Two nights ago we tried to remove the curse and then he made love to me. I know it sounds cliché but it was amazing. Different to any other time we've been together and we've been together _a lot_. There was something different in Pacey's eyes. He's always looked at me with love, but the way he looked at me that night was almost terrifying. There was so much depth to the love, and sadness and self-doubt. I tried to kiss away the latter two but I don't think it worked. We fell asleep on the floor but when I woke up I was in my bed alone. There was no note. Pacey has never left me like that before. I've always known when he had to go or he's left a note. I feel like we had the most erotic, loving moment of our lives at the same time as having an argument. _Expect more._

That's why I'm nervous. Hesitantly I answer the door and Pacey turns to look at me, his face totally unreadable. 'Im not sure how to act, what's _appropriate,_ so I do what I really want to do - I throw myself quite literally into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist and kissing him for all that I'm worth. He begins to chuckle as he kisses me back.

'Miss me much Potter?' he asks in amusement as we stare into one anothers eyes.

'I always miss you,' I tell him feeling like such a girl.

'Did you know you're the girl of my dreams?' he asks in a husky voice pressing me up against the side of the house, beside the front door, his arousal pressing into me and setting fire to my blood.

'Did you know my family are just inside?' I'm trying to tease but my voice is weak from the look in his eyes and the feel of his body against mine.

'They are?' he asks but apparently he doesn't care as he rubs against me and presses kisses to my neck.

'I know it's Christmas but come on...' Bessie chides through the screen door. We grin at each other and reluctantly Pacey lowers me to the floor.

'I need to talk to you Jo,' he says, the smile falling from his face. He's suddenly very serious and my heart starts to hammer.

'Let me grab my coat and we'll go for a walk,' I say trying to remain calm but feeling my insides crumbling, and the nauseous feeling of trepidation. I turn for the door but the sound of a car halts my progress. Grams has just pulled up with Jack and Jen. Don't get me wrong, I'm always pleased to see Jack and Jen but I wish today they'd had a flat and been delayed long enough for Pacey to talk to me. What does he want to talk about? And why do I have a bad feeling about it?

'Hey guys, Merry Christmas,' Jen screeches, bundling onto the porch and giving both Pacey and I huge hugs. Bessie hears the commotion and before I know it we're all swept inside, drinks are being served, Jack is talking animatedly to Pacey and 'Im stuck setting the table.

* * *

Despite the fear that now rests deep inside of me I can't help but relax a little. I haven't been able to stop thinking about Pacey's face as he said we needed to talk but right now we are sat around a warm log fire, the Christmas tree twinkling in the corner, with a plate of Grams cinnamon cookies on the table and Pacey's arms wrapped tightly around me. With all that it's hard to feel truly distraught, and the sense of foreboding I had earlier gently washes away. I keep telling myself that if he were going to break up with me he wouldn't act like nothing was wrong. All through dinner we kept getting the giggles. We'd stare at each other having these illicit conversations with our eyes. He was on form, making everyone laugh with his jokes. I hate that I even think he might be breaking up with me, but my stomach turns and I feel sick with every possibility I come up with. What if he's sick, what if he's leaving Capeside, what if we're finished, what if, what if, what if...

I look around the room. Jack and Jen are dozing on the couch whilst Alexander watches _Muppet Christmas Carol_. Grams, Bessie and Bodie are playing cards at the table and I'm snuggled up with Pacey as he laughs at the film with Alexander. Now is a good time to talk, in fact now is an excellent time to talk.

'Pace should we talk now?' I ask hating the instant nausea and rush of anxiety.

'Good idea,' he nods solemnly and pushes me to my feet by my ass.

'You grabbed my ass,' I tease. He grins widely,

'Like you even have one,' he promptly pats said ass.

'You want to talk in my room?' I ask relieved by his smile. Suddenly is face is blank again, completely unreadable.

'No not here,' he says taking my hand and leading me to the door. He helps me on with my coat before pulling on his. Leading me into the snowy afternoon his hand is firmly holding mine. I feel so sick.

* * *

For several minutes we walk in silence along the edge of the creek. My head, heart and stomach are all going crazy, doing backflips and things like that. Pacey doesn't seem in any rush to put my mind at rest as we amble along. Finally I lose my patience.

'Are you going to dump me?' I ask in a squeaky voice, 'because you should get it over with if you are. But please don't dump me Pace, god I love you and we're good together, so good together. We're better together than any couple ever. And I do expect things from you, I expect a lot, but you don't realize it because you constantly meet and exceed those expectations,' I'm rambling. I know I am, I want to stop but somehow I can't. 'You are the most amazing boy in the world and you make me happier than anyone, happier than I've ever been and since I've been with you, well, breaking the curse just hasn't felt that important. You're important. The most important thing. God I'm begging, but please don't, please Pace...' he puts a finger to my lips,

'I'm not dumping you Joey,' he's still serious though I swear for a second I saw a slight smirk. I really don't care because he's just said he's not dumping me. The relief floods my body and makes me feel hedonistic and so utterly, head over heels, ass backwards in love with him that I throw my arms about him causing us both to fall backwards into the snow where I proceed to lavish kisses and love on him. His hands are in my hair and he's kissing me as madly as I'm kissing him, our bodies burning and our desire unspent. His hands are inside my coat and on my ass pulling me against him and I want to stay like this forever. Every atom of my body is vibrating with joy, love and sheer want. I want Pacey so much I sometimes physically hurt, ache with love for him. It's as I open my eyes to look at his beautiful blue orbs I realize he hasn't told me what he wanted to talk about. All my fears of the day rush back.

'You're not sick are you?' I ask pushing away from him, watching an adorable pout cross his face at the sudden separation between us. 'Or leaving Capeside?' I ask quickly. The pout falls from his face and suddenly he's very serious again. 'What is it Pace? You're terrifying me here. I couldn't cope if something happened to you. What would I ever do without you? You mean everything to me...'

'Shhh Jo,' he pushes himself into a sitting position where I'm straddling him so we can talk eye to eye.

'Pacey,' I plead.

'Jo I'm not sick and I'm not leaving. I didn't mean to make you worry so much...' he trails off.

Then what is it?' I ask. Slowly he puts a hand to my face touching my cheek with his gloved fingers.

'I realized something a couple of days ago,' he begins carefully, full of contemplation. I breathe deeply sensing I don't need to prompt for him to continue. 'I realized a long time ago that I love you, I've probably loved you my whole life in one way or another. For so long you were always out of reach and then you fell in love with me and I felt like life would be ok, that suddenly it wasn't a fight to reach you,' Pacey pauses and I realize he's looking anywhere but my eye. I want to cry but I don't know why.

'Recently its felt like you're getting further and further away from me, like I can't reach you anymore, or maybe it's me that's getting further and further from you. I've been so worried about it. Its felt like we're on different paths, that nothing can prevent the inevitable...'

'The inevitable?' I only just manage to croak the word.

'That we'll end up apart. Your life in one place and my life in another very different place.'

'So you are breaking up with me?' I can't breathe. I swear I'm going to die.

'God Jo, no not at all. I wanted to tell you why I've been distant, why I've found things difficult but you don't understand,' he looks like he's struggling for words. 'I loved you before. I did love you more than anyone ever, but these fears they just kept appearing. But now those fears seem stupid. Growing up is all about different paths but a different path is nothing if you love someone. You can be on different paths but still love each other, still find yourself, still be together. Hell, you can still be together if you're apart.'

'I don't understand,' I say honestly.

'Jo, I loved you before but a couple of nights ago after all those failed attempts to break the curse, after feeling my lowest ever something happened. I can't really explain it, but you and I were never really explicable. Something just shifted and I realized that while I had loved you for years it was somehow different now. Now I was truly, truly in love with you. God, I'm not explaining myself. This is true love. This is different to just loving someone. Before I loved you like an insecure teenager but something shifted maybe it's all part of growing up, I don't know. No matter what happens, if we break up in the future, if we sleep with other people, no matter what, I'll always love you, always. It's totally crazy and its made me feel so at peace. I feel like we're together again. I feel like I _know_ we'll end up together and so I can stop worrying about us breaking apart. You're it for me Jo.' Pacey finally looks at me, locking those blue eyes of his on mine. I don't know what to say.

'So what you're saying is I've been feeling sick with worry all day because you want to tell me you're in love with me?' I must sound incredulous but I'm desperately trying not to smile.

'Pretty much yeah,' he shrugs with a charming smile.

'You bastard,' I tell him before throwing myself back on top of him, letting my mittened hands slide under his coat and sweater. I want this boy. I love this boy. Using my teeth I pull off my mittens and discard them into the snow before running my hands over the burning skin of his chest. He groans and pulls me into his hard cock by my butt. The sensation makes me moan into his kisses. 'Such a bastard,' I coo softly as we rock together.

'Home Joey,' he groans as he grows impossibly harder.

'I am home,' I moan back as his fingers trace across my skin. Without a word he struggles from the snow and drags me back to the B&B where we can truly ravish each other. Which of course we do. And very well I might add.

* * *

The sun set long ago but the B&B is bathed in a warm glow. I'm sat on the couch entirely contented in Pacey's arms. He keeps placing little kisses on my neck and whispering sweet nothings. The fire is crackling away and everyone is slightly hazy with the amount of eggnog we've drunk. We're playing Cranium and contrary to my position as near to Pacey as I can possibly get I'm actually on Jens side. And we're winning. I don't think I've ever been this happy.

'Jo, get us another eggnog would ya,' Jack tells me with a smirk on his face.

'Get it yourself you lazy ass,' I mutter snuggling into Paceys embrace. With a huff Jack struggles from the couch and heads to the kitchen.

'You're just bitter cos you're losing,' Jen teases.

'And maybe I wouldn't be losing if Pacey would concentrate less on Joey and more on the game,' Jack shoots Pacey a pointed look, but my boy just chuckles softly.

His attention is right where it should be, I sigh but then realize everyone is looking at me with strange expressions on their faces.

'Joey get off of Pacey,' Jen says forcefully.

'No,' I frown.

'Seriously Jo, get off me,' Pacey states. I give him a reproachful look but don't move.

'JOEY,' they all yell my name in frustration. Suddenly it dawns on me. The curse is broken and I didn't even notice.

'I am gonna be so disobedient,' I say after a moment with a broad smile.

'But how?' Pacey asks.

'I was going to ask you, oh curse expert?' Jen is shaking her head looking kinda bewildered.

'I don't know,' Pacey is looking at me with adoration and admiration.

'You realize this means no more dive of death,' Jack muses sadly.

'And no more flying up the stairs,' Jen pouts.

'And you'll all have to get your own drinks,' I grin and their frowns deepen. They're not serious and they begin to smile and hug me.

'Let me tell you Potter, the world had better watch out because you were already one hell of a force to be reckoned with and now, hell now you can do whatever you want! Pacey grins holding me close.

* * *

I wake up the following morning feeling deliciously happy. Pacey's naked body is wrapped around mine and I can feel his breath on my shoulder. Waking up like this is better than chocolate or breakfast in bed or anything really. It feels divine. I decide to be nice and make Pacey breakfast so I carefully slip out of bed. He groans and pouts as I pull away from his arms. Such a beautiful boy.

'Joey,' he grumbles and I kiss him.

'I'm making breakfast,' I tell him.

'Want you,' he mumbles sleepily.

'You can have me when you're actually awake,' I roll my eyes.

'You know I'm gonna miss saying "come for me baby" and having you do it,' he offers up looking at me with sleepy eyes and bed head.

'You'll just have to work a little harder,' I tease, 'and so far so good,' I add.

'Mmm yeah,' he agrees.

'Breakfast,' I say with a last kiss.

Breakfast is completely forgotten as I hurtle through the B&B and back to my room barely able to contain my excitement. I throw myself at Pacey,

'It was you, it was you, it was you,' I keep saying shaking him fully awake.

'I believe it was _you_ that woke me,' he grumbles.

'No Pacey it was you,' I pull back the covers and start hammering on his chest.

'What has gotten into you Potter?' he asks rhetorically, wrapping his arms about me and pulling me close to him so I'm forced to lie still.

'But Pace it was you. I didn't know but in the mail this morning there was a letter and it was you,' I'm rambling.

'Clearly you had too much eggnog last night,' he hushes me, kissing my brow his eyes still reclamping shut.

'Pace, you broke the curse,' I state and his eyes snap open and he's suddenly sat bolt upright.

'I what?' he doesn't seem to get it.

'It was you. I got a letter and it said so.' I smile.

'What did this letter say exactly?' he asks uncertainly. I wave the letter in front of his face and he snatches it from my hand reading out loud.

 _'Joey, Congratulations. The curse is broken. There is no place for obedience in true love_...' he trails off his eyes wide.

'See it was you,' I say triumphantly.

'It was me?' he says faintly.

'Yes Pacey.'

'It was me!' he grins.

'It was you,' I grin back and suddenly we're so close that his breath is mine and mine his. His heart is mine and mine his. I'm so happy. I'm so free. I have free will. I have choice. I choose Pacey. Every time.


End file.
